Is it just sibling rivalry?

[ASkipper03]

I have three daughters ages 2 1/2 years, 1 year, and 3 weeks. With the birth of my second daughter my oldest was not jealous and took to the new baby very well. She was very proud to be a big sister and enjoyed to have the baby in the house. Now with the birth of my third daughter, the oldest once again is not affected negatively, and to be honest just has no interest in the new baby. However, my one year old is very jealous I guess is how to state it. She is having nothing to do with me at all, and cries or whines constantly. She whines to be picked up, when I do pick her up she hits me and cries or whines louder to be put back down or just tells me no. I try to play with her one on one and she tells me no and crawls off. With the newborn she will kiss her but right afterwards attmept to hit her in the head. When the newborn is in her swing, my one year old will crawl right over to her, and love on her but once again will try to hit her. I am very concerned with this issue, because it hurts me to know that she is hurting inside. I am at a loss of what to do. Please give me any advice you have.

[SingingMom]

I wouldn't get too excited about it, honestly. It takes a baby (and a 12 month old child is a baby) some time to adjust to a new situation. And she doesn't have a lot of ability to talk through her feelings.

First, I wouldn't encourage the 12 month old to be kissing or touching the newborn much. It's tempting to try to get your babies to love each other, but they will love each other when they are older. They're going to grow up together. They've got years to learn to love each other.

I wouldn't spend a lot of time trying to play with her one-on-one if she's not in the mood, either.

Also, I wouldn't assume that your 12 month old is hurting inside. 12 month old babies often start hitting, whether they have new baby sisters or not. This is one of the reasons I'd encourage a 12 month old to love on a dolly instead of her sister. This is totally normal behavior for this age- kiss the dolly, hug it, then whack it or drop it on its head.

It's also normal for her to be more independent and even whiny. It's normal for a baby this age to want to be picked up and then change her mind and want to go crawl off and look at things. Don't take it personally.

Don't expect your 12 month old baby to behave like an older kid. Babies hit. They are kind of random. They don't understand that they are hurting anyone, and mostly, they aren't trying to hurt your feelings. Babies this age aren't really that sneaky.