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View Full Version : DD's new bedtime behavior is killing me! (long)


KatieLou
01-18-2009, 07:46 PM
So basically, with DD, I have been very blessed by her sleeping habits. We have never had any major issues out of her. When we out her in a big girl bed at 17 months, she happily rolled over and went right to sleep. She has never even tried to get out of her bed. Honestly, she would happily stay in the bed untill DH or I went and got her up.

Now the fun begins. She is 3 1/2 (sob) so I know a lot of this is very normal for her age, but drving DH and I bonkers, none the less.

She has always been picky about her bedtime routine, or all routines for that matter. It must be done the same every night, and if not, watch out. But we are very used to that.

Now she is using every trick in the book. Bedtime the past few weeks has gone something like this.

*teeth brushed
* puppy and blankie in place
*a bedtime story
* bedtime prayer
* hugs and kisses
*CD(the same one) on and nightlight in place
*door shut (she always wants it shut)

The above is our normal bedtime routine and has been since she made the trasition from crib to big girl bed.

Then....
*"MOMMY... I need a drink of water"
If we tell her no and to lie down she pitches a fit, which wakes up DS, so a lot of the time we just get her a drink, and have been trying to give her one before bed, but she usally asks agian anyway.

*As the door shuts "I need to tell you a secret"
We either reply with a "no secrets at bedtime" or ask her if she has anything to tell us before we shut the door.

* "There are shadows, I am 'fraid of the shadows, they scare me to def!" We explain that shadows can not hurt you, and are just made by the light, and we have showed her how much fun shadow puppets can be.

* I gotta POOP!" ok so what do you do? we get her up, and yes she goes, and yes she has used the potty right before bedtime. Not much can be done here!

Many times we will get the door shut and get down to relax and she will scream out with some oddball request.

My fav part:rolleyes: She has begun to get out of the bed, sometimg she would have NEVER done even 2 months ago. DH and I will be sitting on the couch and she will sneak out of her room, and you will see her little head pop around the corner. We take her right back to bed, and she tries to pull all the tricks out agian!

Last night, she had been in the bed for 1 hour, and we thought she was long asleep. DH was in the bathroom and I was downstairs. He hollers down to me "Is Lilly with you" in a vocie that I could tell he was freakin' a bit. "She is not in her room!"

I call up to him that no she is not with me. When I hear a giggle. she snuck (I am telling you this kid can sneak like no other) down the stairs and was sitting directly behind my chair, and I had no clue she was there!!

DH explained to her that she scared him by doing that, that he did not know where she was. We took her back to bed, and told her NOT to get up.

UGH! I know, most of you have been through this, but this is the fist time I have ever had a 3 year old;) and it is such a battle! Bedtime seems to last forever anymore! I find myself getting so frustrated with her, and I hate that. :(

Not to mention that bright and early she is up and standing by my bed waking both me and DS up when she, in the past, would have stayed in bed happily looking at a book or talking to her puppy.

I know, I know, she is just getting older and becoming independent and such.

Now because I feel bad for talking about her I must add something she did tonight that warmed my heart. I let her stay up a tad late (hopping it would make bedtime quicker) and she was snuggled on the couch with me watching a kiddie tape. She looked up at me and said "Mommy, I love you. You will have another baby in your belly one day." and gave me a huge bear hug.

She knew nothing of my pregnacy, or of the m/c. It really kind of comforted me too.

KatieLou
01-18-2009, 08:48 PM
Man! It is 9:45 here. DD's noraml bedtime is 7:30, I let her stay up untill 8:00 tonight. She just got up. She has obviously been asleep, and came intot he living room crying about the shadows. she said "I just need someone to hold me, I 'frad of the shadows.":(

So what do you do? DH is dealing with her right now. Rocking her and telling her the shadows can not hurt and such.

Nightmares? How in the world do you handle this, she has to sleep, and in her own bed, but idon't want her being scared silly. Poor baby.

Olianna
01-18-2009, 09:01 PM
I'm sorry, I don't have any advice for you but your op reminds me of the book, Bedtime for Frances. My kids all love that book.

NewMum
01-18-2009, 09:11 PM
:hug: KatieLou, I am sorry you are having such a rough time! I do know that sleep issues have been the most trying for us, too. DS has been getting up almost every night since we switched to his "big boy" bed. So, I can totally sympathize with you there!
I don't have any advice, but hang in there. Things will surely get better if you are consistent with and supportive of your DD.

KatieLou
01-18-2009, 09:31 PM
Thank you NewMum. I really feel like she is having nightmares of some sort. Or her active imagination is just running full speed ahead. When DH put her back tonight he took out her nightlight to show her that the shadows are made by light. That made her a little bit more at ease, so she insisted on sleeping without the nightlight, and of course, with her door shut. She went right off to sleep. Maybe not having the nightlight, as odd as it sounds, will help. I hope.

DS had also put himself in his big boy bed. He has both a big boy bed and his crib in his room. He sleep great in it for 2 nights. Then he starting getting up 2-3 times in the middle of the night, so we put him back in his crib, and he is sleeping great agian.

He is asking to sleep in th ebig boy bed though, sometimes. So we ahve told him we will try agian in a few weeks. I wish he would just want to stay in his crib a while onger, he sleeps so much better there! With DD we had no option, she had to be in a big bed because we needed the crib, we have no reason to need him out of the crib at this point, HE just wants it!

Teresa64
01-18-2009, 09:42 PM
We never coslept with David. Not even when he was a newborn, he always slept well by himself. Around Lilly's age he started doing pretty much the same as your dd. He does better now as long as there are NO distrations.
It is really bad when we happen to have company at bedtime. But he has taken to wanting to sleep in our bed. A LOT. Kinda sucks because at his age(almost 6) he takes up a lot of room in our little queen bed. We have a door that separates the bedrooms from the living room and he has started to "sneak" into our bed.

I will go to check on him before I get ready for bed and he will be sleeping in the middle of my bed. It is very scary (well the first 10 times) to check on your child and them not be safe in there bed like they should be.

A friend of mine did a "ticket" system for bedtime. At the beginning of bed they have 5 tickets. Everytime they need a drink or whatever they loose a ticket. If at the end of the week they still had all their tickets they got to do a special activity. Special outing with mom or dad, trip to the park, esc. I didn't try it but it worked really well for my friends kids. Maybe you could try that.

KatieLou
01-18-2009, 10:00 PM
Teresa, we have never coslept with DD either. Just DS. And, good grief if someone is around at naptime or bedtime, we just have to shoo them off, or forget Lilly going to bed.

I really, really, do not want he rin my bed if we can keep from it. DS is fianlly in his bed, for the most part, and I am enjoying a nice sleep. Plus, I have tried to let her sleep with me before and she is ALL over the bed, I don't think she would even want to be in my bed.

The ticket system is kind of neat! Thanks for that tip!

NewMum
01-18-2009, 10:06 PM
I agree the nightlight being off may help. Maybe you could get her a small flashlight for if/when she wakes up afraid and let her keep it near her bed.
We keep DS' nightlight off when the moon is especially bright out. He tends to sleep a little better then, but if it's pitch black he does wake up more often crying.

I wanted to keep DS in his crib a bit longer, but he had figured out how to climb up and nearly out of it. I about died when he came so close to tumbling out on his head!

Teresa, I think the ticket idea is great! I'll have to keep that in mind for when DS is a little older.

NewMum
01-18-2009, 10:12 PM
We co-slept with DS for the most part until a couple months ago. Well... we still co-sleep if he won't fall back to sleep quickly after the first time he wakes. I know we should probably try longer to get him back down, but DH and I both are like zombies after we've slept an hour or two. It's just been easier for us to bring him back to bed with us.
We do get a few hours of alone/sleep time after we put him down. He'll sleep 3-6 hours normally. It's after that first wake up that it all goes downhill for us. After that he roots on me and ends up kicking DH in the face the rest of the night. LOL

Teresa64
01-18-2009, 10:17 PM
Teresa, we have never coslept with DD either. Just DS. And, good grief if someone is around at naptime or bedtime, we just have to shoo them off, or forget Lilly going to bed.

I really, really, do not want he rin my bed if we can keep from it. DS is fianlly in his bed, for the most part, and I am enjoying a nice sleep. Plus, I have tried to let her sleep with me before and she is ALL over the bed, I don't think she would even want to be in my bed.

The ticket system is kind of neat! Thanks for that tip!

I have recieved black eyes and fat lips by allowing David to sleep in our bed. We have tried putting his blowup bed beside our bed...but it isn't good enough. He claims he likes our bed because we have silk sheets. I am seriously considering buying him some. lol

Let me know if you use the ticket system and whether it works. I think its too late to try it with David, but I may need a plan of attack for Dylan when he EVENTUALLY comes out of his crib. At this point he can stay in the crib forever. He is going to be trouble once he has freedom.