would you homeschool if. . .

[Flutterby]

(plese excuse my bd typing. Im obviously missing working letter on my keybord'-ds spilled wter on it, so I hope you cn red it nywy )

. . . dc had social difficulties in school? ds has an appt with childrens mental health at the military hospital to be evluated. I asked his teacher to send a letter discussing his behaviors and his counselor sent one too. He has anger issues when he has to do something he doesnt want to such as writing. He is very smart and loves to read. his teacher said he would read all day if he was allowed to. he has been growling when he has to do something he doesnt want. He is 9 by the way, so that is not really age approprite behaviour. he is also one of those kids that will talk bout video games all day to anyone who will listen. His teacher wrote that he doesnt like to interact with the other students. I think they are also wary or little scared of him and his oddness. His counselor says he has numerous social skill deficits and he is in a friendship group but doesnt do well. He is not happy in school. I dont see as much of these behaviors at home since it is a totally different environment. were pretty relaxed and dont have much of a schedule. Im torn between wanting him to learn social skills and make friends yet I also want to protect him from people thinking badly of him. His teacher said she can see him being an easy target for kids picking on him and bullying him. He already has problems with one stuDent he always talks about.

I have 4 kids, 3 currently in school'-including Jacob, and i really dont know if I could handle homeschooling 4 kids. my dh is out to sea right now and i have very limited contact with him when he is gone. im feeling stressed and overwhelmed and feel like I cant take all 4 of them anywhere by myself becuse I have to worry too much about behavior issues.



edited to fill in all the missing 'a's

[JudyJudyJudy]

Do you think you could handle homeschooling with everything else you have on your plate? If so, then, yes, I'd homeschool. Then again, I'm pro-homeschooling anyway.

Also, you can use an on-screen keyboard to type. :D

[Flutterby]

Do you think you could handle homeschooling with everything else you have on your plate? If so, then, yes, I'd homeschool. Then again, I'm pro-homeschooling anyway.

Also, you can use an on-screen keyboard to type. :D

How do I get to n onscreen keybord? Im still hoping everything dries out nd comes bck to life lol

[JudyJudyJudy]

On most computers:

Start, Programs, Accessories, Accessibility, On-Screen Keyboard.

You'll need to put your cursor in the area of the screen in which you want to type. You can choose to type everything else from your regular keyboard and only use the on-screen keyboard for your missing letter.

[ColleenF30]

If you can handle it I would go for the homeschool. Nice missing "A"! When I first started reading I thought it had to be a joke, and I checked (OCD) every darn word to see if the "a" showed up at all. I'm loony like that though.

[QuiltyConscience]

Could you just homeschool him and let the others stay in school? ( this is assuming that they are doing well) he may benefit greatly from the one on one focus. Can he write well or is that something he has trouble with?

And Just my two cents on the social skills:
Interacting primarily with a group of same aged peers and few adults is not necessarily the best way to socialize. he may get a better "socialization" experience with you, family, friends, relatives, etc.

[Flutterby]

Thanks Judy

[Flutterby]

Quilty, the other 2 are doing just fine in school so I would prefer them to stay. Jacob's counselor did write in his letter that Jacob does much better with adult interactions. I am concerned about his anger issues. He has been diagnosed with adhd so we are dealing with that issue too.

[JudyJudyJudy]

You're welcome.

Could you just homeschool him and let the others stay in school? ( this is assuming that they are doing well) he may benefit greatly from the one on one focus. Can he write well or is that something he has trouble with?

And Just my two cents on the social skills:
Interacting primarily with a group of same aged peers and few adults is not necessarily the best way to socialize. he may get a better "socialization" experience with you, family, friends, relatives, etc.
I agree.

[Flutterby]

He can write but he absolutely does not like to. It can take him the whole writing time to even come up with an idea, but when he does write and puts an effort in he does a wonderful job. He even came home one day with a great book about an owl that h6e wrote completely by himself. He just loves to read and could do so much more of that if he were homeschooled.

I am anxious about his dr. appt coming up on Monday. I really hate to be going without dh with us, but his teacher has been very concerned about his behavior for quite awhile now.

[JudyJudyJudy]

I truly would give homeschooling a try.

[MrsKitty]

Yes I definitely would, but like Judy said, I am already pro homeschooling.

[Flutterby]

How do you know even where to begin? I know dhs dad would be excited if I decided to do it and would probably offer to pay for most, if not all of the books we would need. Have any good resources for me to check out?

[QuiltyConscience]

He can write but he absolutely does not like to. It can take him the whole writing time to even come up with an idea, but when he does write and puts an effort in he does a wonderful job. He even came home one day with a great book about an owl that h6e wrote completely by himself. He just loves to read and could do so much more of that if he were homeschooled.

I am anxious about his dr. appt coming up on Monday. I really hate to be going without dh with us, but his teacher has been very concerned about his behavior for quite awhile now.

He could be really bored with what he's being asked to write. I would definitely try homeschooling for a while. I would recommend taking a few weeks off of everything to let him decompress at first, just allow him to read and do things with you, before starting up anything with formal schooling at home.

If you honestly think that the evaluation may be stressful for him at this time and mostly school-related, would it be feasible to take him out of school and give it a few weeks to see if you think he even needs an evaluation?

[Flutterby]

I really think his evaluation may just be more stressful for me worrying about ds. If nothing is wrong other than just being really unhappy in school, then that would be great. I think we will just see how it goes Monday morning and then I should be able to get in touch with dh through e-mail as it sounds like we will have those lines open again soon--he is on a submarine. It would be nice to have his input on this too.

[QuiltyConscience]

How do you know even where to begin? I know dhs dad would be excited if I decided to do it and would probably offer to pay for most, if not all of the books we would need. Have any good resources for me to check out?

That's really awesome that Your FIL would be so supportive! As for resources.. oh goodness there are so many! Don't go nuts buying curriculum at first -I made that mistake, and ended up buying all kinds of things that never were used.

Start slow, read up on several different styles, methods, Curricula..check out your library for Books on homeschooling.


BTW Do we have an archived thread for homeschooling resources? We should.

[QuiltyConscience]

I really think his evaluation may just be more stressful for me worrying about ds. If nothing is wrong other than just being really unhappy in school, then that would be great. I think we will just see how it goes Monday morning and then I should be able to get in touch with dh through e-mail as it sounds like we will have those lines open again soon--he is on a submarine. It would be nice to have his input on this too.

Big Hugs to you right now. I'm sure this is all tough on you when he's gone."cathug"

[Tweet]

I'd seriously be considering it. It would depend on the eval and how his teacher and classmates handle potential special needs. If they aren't very good at handling it ( the teacher isn't that great and/or the kids keep picking or harassing ) then I'd do it for sure. But, if they were good at dealing with it and he had a good IEP AND he wanted to stay, I'd try to keep my child in. However, even if all of that was working and my kid were miserable and therefore not able to learn in that environment, I'd consider either a different school ( special needs, sensory learning center,etc) and homeschooling. I'd likely lean more towards homeschooling,though.

It's a hard one. Really, listen to your gut instincts. If you really sense that he's just not going to be able to be happy there and learn there,in spite of services that he might receive there, it'd be worth a shot, IMO. And, no one said it has to be written in stone,right? You could try it for a year or half a year or whatever and see.

[Flutterby]

thanks for all your input. this is something Im seriously going to consider after Im able to talk to dh. we will be moving to ny in may so the kids won't be able to finish out the schoolyear here anyway.

[Justicedog]

Have you tried to get him to write something for you at home? How does he respond to that?

I see great value in non-homeschooling - particularly because of the social contact and such. I also see great value in homeschooling if non-homeschooling (public or private schools) aren't working out. There are issues that schools cannot easily address or deal with.

I would think, but don't know and have no knowledge/experience, that if he's got some social issues with dealing with peers, he should work on that. School may not be the best place to do that through. I just think that it should be something that should be consciously thought out on how you'd be able to give him that. Other homeschool group activities? Sports or clubs?

Just throwing my 2 cents in, I don't really know anything, so take it for what it's worth - about 0.

I wish you the best of luck and do hope you're able to come up with a solution that works for him.

[SingingMom]

My oldest DD is ADD, as well. She exhibited similar social problems- an inability to change topics of conversation appropriately, to recognize social signals. We are homeschooling all our kids, but homeschooling has been especially good for her. She is really good at the traditional "boy" topics- math and science. She's very interested in computers and robots and engines and how everything works. She was struggling socially and had started masking her real interests and abilities to fit in.

Homeschooling gives her the opportunity to excel at her best skills.

And, we've been dosing her with coffee, and have found that a little caffeine helps her respond more appropriately to social signals. Now she can tell when someone is not interested in talking about something anymore, and can respond much more appropriately.

We don't have an official diagnosis, and don't need one, since she is functioning so well.

I find that our homeschooled kids actually have much better social skills than their publicly schooled peers. However, we model and practice social skills; we go far beyond "please" and "thank you". We discuss and practice how to introduce yourself, how to respond appropriately to common social questions ("How old are you?" "What grade are you in?" "What's your favorite subject?") and some of the more difficult topics, like what to say when someone announces a loss.

We also practice shaking hands, looking people in the eye, all that sort of thing. We talk about how speaking confidently can help put others at ease.

Kids don't learn those things at school.

[QuiltyConscience]

Have you tried to get him to write something for you at home? How does he respond to that?

I see great value in non-homeschooling - particularly because of the social contact and such. I also see great value in homeschooling if non-homeschooling (public or private schools) aren't working out. There are issues that schools cannot easily address or deal with.

Just because I find this debate worthy, but why the "If"? Why is homeschooling of value if the school isn't working? Is it not a viable option even if one has good school available, and simply chooses not to use it?



I would think, but don't know and have no knowledge/experience, that if he's got some social issues with dealing with peers, he should work on that. School may not be the best place to do that through. I just think that it should be something that should be consciously thought out on how you'd be able to give him that. Other homeschool group activities? Sports or clubs?


I agree that schools are not the best place to work on social peer issues. I would even go as far to say that a lot of schools are typically not a good choice at all for socialization skills.

When else in life do you mainly associate with a large group of people the same age, or have to sit next to and make friends by default , with the people who have the same letter of your last name? Or not allowed to have your desk next to a coworker's desk because you get along too well and must be separated?

Where else in life are we completely powerless against being harrassed or bullied on a daily basis, and simply told to ignore it and try to fit in? Or physically attacked, and not allowed to defend ourselves without getting in trouble with the authorities?

[steelady]

Quilty, the other 2 are doing just fine in school so I would prefer them to stay. Jacob's counselor did write in his letter that Jacob does much better with adult interactions. I am concerned about his anger issues. He has been diagnosed with adhd so we are dealing with that issue too.


We did homeschool for a semester-it was a wonderful and amazing thing for ds; he did very well. The timing was good; we were able to work on his behavior issues (he would bite/kick/pinch/hit every day, sometimes multiple persons) both through medication (strattera) and developing a good sensory diet. He is now back in school and has had very few incidents (a couple of pinches, no bites).

Perhaps a break from school would be a good thing-not from learning but from the social/interaction perspective.

eta-ds has autism