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View Full Version : Need some advice on my little sister


MrsKitty
03-02-2009, 03:41 PM
Apparently I am going to be having a big chat with my sister tonight.

Growing up in my house was not easy. In monetary terms, we lived the perfect life. Emotional stability... not so much. I gave up when I was fifteen and moved out of the house, I was not able to handle living there anymore. I ended up in a safe house, and then on my own. Which was fine at first, until I realized I could do whatever I wanted, which turned into a two year drug binge/addiction and alot of bad choices.

All that is clearly straightened out and we are doing very well now. I have always let my little sister know that if she ever needs to talk, that I am here. I never want her to end up in the places I did. She knows that if she needs to talk about sex or drugs or peer pressure or anything like that, that she can talk to me and I will be open and non judgmental and help her as best I can. I have been very worried for her since she became a teenager. I know how difficult it was for me growing up in that household. She is going to face different problems (I was a loner/weirdo, and came out of the closet in highschool, she is very pretty and popular and preppy). ANYWAYS. My point is, that house was not a healthy place to be, and I doubt it has gotten better since I moved out.

So my mom called and said that my sister wanted to move in with us. She wasn't sure if this was a permanent or temporary thing. I don't think this is nessesaraly a bad thing. (I tried to spell that five times and spell checker didn't recognize any of them) I think my sister thinks that she can come here and just do whatever she wants, which would not be the case. She would have to learn how to take a bus because we would not be driving her around, and she would get a little dose of reality, as well as be in a more supportive environment.

Then while I was writing all this I got another call saying that she decided not to come tonight, but that she possibly still wants to move in with us... just not today? But she isn't sure when.

I originally was asking for advice on what to say when she came here tonight to move in.. but I guess the situation has changed a bit. We just need to be prepared for her to maybe move in. Im not too sure what to do.

jessiehannan
03-02-2009, 03:45 PM
I would start buy be perfectly clear that your house has rules, and that she has to follow them, and then start with the rules. That is she doesn't follow the rules, she has to move back out.

Peeka2
03-02-2009, 03:46 PM
IF you let her move in you need to sit down and set very clear boundaries on what will and won't be accepted in your house. Good luck!

Becca75
03-02-2009, 04:01 PM
What everyone else said and I want to add that I think you're being a great big sister!

MrsKitty
03-02-2009, 04:21 PM
Yup. I would insist that we sit down and come up with some house rules that we all can live with, and that she gets herself a bus pass, and figure out how she is going to get to her acting and soccer lessons.

I think she thinks it would be fun and easy (hey screw you mom and dad I am going to go party with my sister) but she would have a little shock. We don't have a maid to clean up after her or make her dinner, and we wouldn't be driving her around.

MiMi_of_4
03-02-2009, 04:31 PM
While I think what you are possibly be going to do is a positive thing, do make sure you have all your Ts crossed and your Is dotted BEFORE she makes the move. I also would make it perfectly clear that IF she moves in with you it's permanent ~ no yo-yoing back and forth from your house to your parents.

If she decides the grass WAS greener on the other side and decides she likes it better at their home, I'd tell her she wouldn't be given the chance to come back to your house.

And it's spelled necessarily, sweetie ~

3girls2luv
03-02-2009, 04:48 PM
While I think what you are possibly be going to do is a positive thing, do make sure you have all your Ts crossed and your Is dotted BEFORE she makes the move. I also would make it perfectly clear that IF she moves in with you it's permanent ~ no yo-yoing back and forth from your house to your parents.

If she decides the grass WAS greener on the other side and decides she likes it better at their home, I'd tell her she wouldn't be given the chance to come back to your house.

And it's spelled necessarily, sweetie ~



I agree with this. I have a 15yo dd who would probably do the same thing if she had a big sister. I also have a DN that moved in with me and I have set the rules that he must follow. He is 18 but since he is living with me he does have to follow our house rules just like my mom does (who also lives with me). I should just give you my address so if she does not like living with you she can come live with me ;) All joking aside though, I do wish you luck and she is lucky to have a sister like you.

SueDid
03-02-2009, 06:16 PM
We did this with my sister. It's a long story, but we took her in, set some house rules with her input, she wanted to turn her life around, blah, blah, blah.

Rules were being broken in the first week, she was eating us out of house and home. She didn't have a key because I didn't really trust her to have one and would have no idea when she came in if I went to bed. The final straw was when her and her boyfriend broke into our house because she thought we had gone to bed and locked the door. Didn't ring the doorbell or knock, broke in.

I hope it goes well for you, but be prepared for plan B and how you will get her out if it doesn't work.

Macabe
03-02-2009, 08:27 PM
If appropriate based on your financial situation, you should ask for some child support.