Just when things are going better...

[bocarioja]

Dh comes home and says that his job is moving to Connecticut.

I have a perfect job that I adore, I just registered Elizabeth for Kindergarten, and our friends and family are all here in Ohio.

We're going to take a loss on our house, no doubt about that. Not to mention the hassle of selling itself...

Most importantly, I don't want to leave my mom who is still battling cancer.

Fuck this.

This is selfish of me, but I hope I can stay here and he agrees to come home on the weekends. I'd be fine with that.

[Peeka2]

Oh I am sorry!

[haleysmom]

I'm sorry. I can't imagine being in that position. :(

[Iconoclast]

What part of Conn? I always wanted to move to New Haven when we were in NYC. Dh was working 20 hours days then and didn't want to add 4h to his commute, lol. I had friens who lived out there and there is no better community in America IMO (and I've livd almost everywhere)!

We have also done the commuter marriage thing, and I have to tell you, as staunchly independent as I am, I didn't care for it much. I felt like a single parent, and I didn't sign up for that.

[Bohemian]

I'm sorry Boca. I don't think it's selfish at all to want to be around your mom and not disrupt your lives. We've had 2 major cross country moves in the last 5 years and they are incredibly stressful. I hope that you can find a way to make it work where you can stay and dh can commute.

[MiMi_of_4]

I'm sorry, boca.

[MrsKitty]

I am sorry :( I hope you can find a solution that is good for both of you.

[jessiehannan]

I'm sorry, that sounds incredibly stressful.
:hug:

[ColleenF30]

I am sorry Boca....honestly I wouldn't want to leave either.

[Iconoclast]

Ther may be another silver liing. Depending on where you live now, you may have a great rental potential. So many people have had to leave their homes and are unable to buy another, some areas are seeing very competitive rental markets. We didn't want to try to sell in this market either, so we have turned our previous home over to a rental management company. They handle everything: screening, backgrdound, crdit checks, collecting the rent, maintainence, etc. Even after we pay them 15%, we are clearing almost 50% more than the mortgage payment. We pay it all to principle, and even for taxes, the expenses and depreciation has made it win-win. One day, when things look up, we'll sell it. You might want to call around and check into the possibilities for a home like yours if you decide to go with your dh.

I'm not belittling your angst. I just believe when life gives you lemons, you make lemonaide. I do know how you feel. I have moved all over hell and creation b/c of my dh's career. It isn't easy, but now I have frinds (and free places to stay ;) literally, all over the country. You could fly home to visit your Mom as frequently as your dh would have come to see you.

Sorry life has thrown you this curveball. Iknow how much it sucks to leave a place yuo are happy in.

[bocarioja]

What part of Conn? I always wanted to move to New Haven when we were in NYC. Dh was working 20 hours days then and didn't want to add 4h to his commute, lol. I had friens who lived out there and there is no better community in America IMO (and I've livd almost everywhere)!

We have also done the commuter marriage thing, and I have to tell you, as staunchly independent as I am, I didn't care for it much. I felt like a single parent, and I didn't sign up for that.

Hartford/New Britain.

Its funny that I live in the area of Ohio referred to as "New Connecticut," or the Western Reserve. I often joke to Dhs colleagues that Connecticut sucked so bad, people left and formed Cleveland.

Dh tells me that its a beautiful state and I'll love it. It looks like I'm going to find out. He seems to love it out there. He travels there at leat once a month. They're offering his relocation package sometime this week.

Thanks, Icon.

[bocarioja]

Thanks, everyone.

Dh has so many frequent flyer miles, he said he can buy 40 round trip Hartford/Cleveland plane tickets just today.

I just don't want to be away from my support system if he will be traveling even more than he is now.

I'm trying to stay positive, but there has been this lump in my throat and tears in my eyes for 2 days now.

I just need to put on my big girl panties and grow up.

[jessiehannan]

:hug: I would be terrified of leaving my mom while she is ill and balwing my eyes out. It is big change to make on very short notice.

[tata]

Best wishes, boca. :hug: I'm going to send you a PM.

[Tweet]

Oh, I'm so sorry :(

I've BTDT although it was only for 6 months. If I hadn't had a high risk pregnancy, I also would have stayed behind and done the weekends. I hope you guys can work it out.

[still_me]

:( Oh, honey, I am so sorry. I know this is hard for you to go through with your momma. You've done a lot of good for the area. Where ever you move will benefit from you.

[bocarioja]

Thanks, Still me.

I just booked 18 programs with Big Brothers & Big Sisters all over northern OH for March and April. I'm training a volunteer to finish them just in case I can't. I worry that all these organizations and grant review boards are going to think I'm a flake. I talk about being dedicated and determined, taking pride in improving my hometown. Then two weeks later, pack a moving truck and say adios? Yeah, should bode well for future applications our org...

I mean, I am a flake, but I fake it pretty well at work.

Twice today, Ive told prospective partners that they may not be working with me in the near future, and to refer questions to 'xxxx'

My job may be posted, soon if you're interested, Still me.

[still_me]

I couldn't step into your shoes. :( This all sucks. And, I wouldn't worry about what future organizations think. All they need to know is that your DH's job moved you out of the area with an extremely short notice. That will suffice in this economy.

[DamnDrama]

New Britain is a dump. Beware! Im sure you could find something in the surrounding areas.

I know it's going to be tough but in this economy having a job is a blessing.


Icon, I might be commuting to New Haven a couple days a week, Im looking forward to it AND they have an IKEA!

[Givebac]

Can you take your mom with you?

I can't wait to leave CT. Maybe I just come from a nice place in Oh, but I don't think Ct is anything special. Lots of taxes though.

[bocarioja]

Thanks for the heads up, Drama.

I can't take her with me, Givebac. She loves her Drs at the Cleve. Clinic.

I can fly her out whenever she feels up to it and I can come home whenever possible. I usually see her two to three times a week now. That is going ot be hard.

I can't believe how high the taxes are in CT either. We pay about half of what is charged out there.

Still no word on the relocation offer, though. With any luck, they changed their mind!
Any suggestions on locations besides New Haven?

[MiMi_of_4]

I'm sad you're going to have to leave your mom and all your volunteer work, boca, but I'm keeping my fingers (and toes!) crossed they've changed their minds!

[Funmommy]

I'm sorry that you're going through this right now. :(
I also hope that they change their minds for your sake.

Taxes here ARE really expensive.
There are a lot of really beautiful areas of CT...
and some that aren't so nice too, but....
We'd be Sooo much better and more beautiful with you here. :D

[bocarioja]

Thanks, Funmommy!

[JudyJudyJudy]

I'm sorry, Boca. I hope things work out for you.

[DamnDrama]

Well, at least if you move here we could do lunch ;)


I live and work in MA right now, but my desk sits in CT and I pay taxes to both states. It's suppoed to even out but it sure doesn't feel like it!