Nursing Past One Year

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Dealing with Criticism:
http://www.kellymom.com/bf/criticism.html


Answers to Frequently Asked Questions About Extended Nursing by Laurie Flanagan http://www.abs.net/~n3drx/extbffaq.htm

You're Still Nursing? Words and Links to Encourage Extended Breastfeeding, from Patti at Home
http://www.aceks.com/mikboy/extbfg.htm


http://www.bflrc.com/newman/articles.htm


Becky's Breastfeeding Information Library
All articles written by Becky Flora, BSed, IBCLC
http://www.breastfeed-essentials.com/nursetoddler.html


Breastfeeding a toddler
from 'Essence' magazine, Volume 39, Number 1, Australian Breastfeeding Association
http://www.breastfeeding.asn.au/bfinfo/toddler.html

The web site this post is at. Articles and message boards: http://www.breastfeeding.com/

The message boards at this web site:
http://www.breastfeeding.com/cgi-bin/Ultimate.cgi

"Wean Me Gently" by Cathy Cardall
http://www.breastfeeding.com/reading_room/wean_me_gently.html

http://www.breastfeeding.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=19;t=000033 (The link for the thread you are now reading.)

Extended Breastfeeding, Nursing Past One Year from the Breastfeeding Matters web site: (Click on Extended Breastfeeding link on the list on the left)
http://www.breastfeedingmatters.com/

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The web site of Cindy Curtis,RN,IBCLC:
http://www.breastfeedingonline.com

"Breastfeed a Toddler -- Why on Earth?" by Dr. Jack Newman:
http://www.breastfeedingonline.com/21.html

"How Breastmilk Protects Newborns"
by Dr. Jack Newman, from Scientific American:

quote:although it is not the norm in most industrial cultures, UNICEF and the World Health Organization both advise breast-feeding to "two years and beyond." Indeed, a child's immune response does not reach its full strength until age five or so.

http://www.breastfeedingonline.com/29.html

Dr. Jay Gordon, pediatrician and board certified IBCLC lactation consultant: http://www.drjaygordon.com/links/BF/extended.htm

"Sustained Breastfeeding, Complementation and Care" from Ted Greiner's Breastfeeding web site (other great articles at this web site too!) http://www.geocities.com/HotSprings/Spa/3156/care.htm


"Watch Your Language" By Diane Wiessinger, MS,IBCLC
(Reprinted from the Journal of Human Lactation, Vol. 12, No. 1, 1996) http://www.geocities.com/Heartland/8529/BF/language.html


"Breastfeeding is Beautiful!" website, Nursing Toddlers & Extended Nursing: http://www.geocities.com/dollariquestnet/toddler.html


http://groups.msn.com/Breastfeeding101/toddlernursing.msnw


http://www.ivillage.com/topics/pregbaby/0,10707,166423,00.html


http://www.kathydettwyler.org

http://www.kellymom.com/bf/bfextended/index.html

http://www.kellymom.com/ebf-benefits.html


http://www.kellymom.com/criticism.html http://www.lactations.com/daily_inspiration.phtml?filename=04062003


http://www.lalecheleague.org/

http://www.lalecheleague.org/FAQ/bflength.html

http://www.lalecheleague.org/NB/NBextended.html

http://www.lalecheleague.org/FAQ/advantagetoddler.html

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http://www.lalecheleague.org/NB/NBJulAug01p124.html

http://www.lalecheleague.org/FAQ/bflength.html
http://www.lalecheleague.org/llleaderweb/LV/LVFebMar98p3.html

http://www.lightlink.com/hilinda/Diane/weanbaby.html

http://www.milksucks.com/breastnew.html http://www.mothering.com/articles/new_baby/breastfeeding/after-three.html

http://www.mothering.com/news-bulletins/april2002.shtml#breastfeeding
http://www.mothering.com/12-0-0/html/12-5-0/12-5-bfwean97.shtml

http://www.parenthood.com/articles.html?article_id=1821

http://www.ivillage.com/topics/pregbaby/0,,166423,00.html

"101 Reasons to Breastfeed" by http://www.promom.org/101/index.html http://www.violence.de/prescott/ttf/article.html

'Hey, Mom, Can I Nurse Now?'
Some Women Breast-Feed Children Well Past Infancy
By Rebecca R. Kahlenberg, Washington Post
Tuesday, May 27, 2003; Page C09
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/articles/A42397-2003May26.html

http://www.4woman.gov/Breastfeeding/bf.cfm?page=ask

http://breastfeed.com/resources/articles/ignorance.htm

http://www.mommyguide.com/modules.php?op=modload&name=News&file=article&sid=138

http://www.lalecheleague.org/NB/NBNovDec00p196.html

[ January 14, 2005, 06:01 PM: Message edited by: hugthem ]
Posted by hugthem (Member # 1298) on November 08, 2004 08:02 AM November 08, 2004 08:02 AM :

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La Leche League:


quote:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
All the contributions of human milk—both nutritional and health—continue for as long as the baby receives breastmilk. In fact, as the baby takes less breastmilk, these benefits are condensed into what milk is produced. Many of the health advantages of breastmilk are dose related: the longer the baby receives breastmilk, the greater are the benefits.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

How long should a mother breastfeed?
http://www.lalecheleague.org/FAQ/bflength.html


quote:

There are unquestionable nutritional and economic advantages of sustained breastfeeding. Even beyond infancy young children return to the breast for comfort when they are sick...and thereby passively receive more food than others who are sick.

quote from Dr. Ted Greiner, “Sustained Breastfeeding, Complementation and Care�:
http://www.geocities.com/HotSprings/Spa/3156/care.htm

quote:

Breastfeeding beyond the first year offers considerable benefits to both mother and child, and should continue as long as mutually desired....If the child is younger than two years of age, the child is at increased risk of illness if weaned.

quote from American Academy of Family Physicians recommendations:
http://www.aafp.org/x6633.xml


quote:

UNICEF and the World Health Organization both advise breastfeeding to “two years and beyond.� Indeed, a child’s immune response does not reach its full strength until age five or so.

quote from “How Breastfeeding Protects Newborns, Dr. Jack Newman, originally printed in Scientific American:
http://www.breastfeedingonline.com/29.html


quote:

(from 101 Reasons to bf article)


The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends it
According to the most recent statement of the Academy, “Human milk is the preferred feeding for all infants, including premature and sick newborns. It is recommended that breastfeeding continue for at least the first 12 months, and thereafter for as long as mutually desired.�
A.A.P. Breastfeeding Policy Statement: Breastfeeding and the Use of Human Milk
http://www.aap.org/policy/re9729.html

Not breastfeeding increases mother’s risk of breast cancer
A...study from China has concluded that a woman who breastfeeds for 24 months of her life has only half the risk of developing breast cancer as a woman who breastfeeds for 1 - 6 months. Protection increases to 75% for those who breastfeed for a total of 109 months. This held true for both pre-menopausal and post-menopausal cancers.

Breast milk contains immunities to diseases and aids in the development of baby’s immune system.

Formula feeding increases risk of baby developing type I (juvenile, insulin-dependent) diabetes
There are many studies linking development of juvenile diabetes to lack of breastfeeding. The results of a recent study in Finland suggest that at introduction of dairy products at an early age, and high milk consumption during childhood increase the level of cow’s milk antibodies in the children’s systems. This factor is independently associated with increased risk of insulin dependent diabetes.

Cows milk is an intestinal irritant
According to Dr. William Sears, MD, cow’s milk should not be given as a beverage to infants under one year of age. “Cow’s milk can irritate the lining of your infant’s intestines, causing tiny losses of iron. This can contribute to iron-deficiency anemia.�

Obesity:
A recent German study concluded “in industrialized countries, promoting prolonged breastfeeding may help decrease the prevalence of obesity in childhood.�

Breastfeeding results in less sick days for parents.

Breast milk acts like a natural tranquilizer for baby
Mother’s milk contains chemicals that seem to work like “knock-out drops� for tired babies. Even if baby doesn’t fall asleep, he/she will certainly calm down and become more agreeable. If you choose to breastfeed into toddlerhood, you may find that the “terrible twos� never materialize.

Breastfed babies are healthier over-all
Kaiser Permanente...found that breastfed babies had many health advantages over formula-fed babies, including better over-all health.

Natural pain relief for baby
Breast milk actually contains chemicals that suppress pain (endorphins).

Less money
Even if you do have to buy a pump and the basic bottle kit, the savings in cost of formula and additional medical attention make breastfeeding financially well worth trying.

Breast milk has never been recalled
Formula has been, sometimes after causing injury or death.

Facilitates proper dental and jaw development
“Suckling at the breast is good for a baby’s tooth and jaw development.�

Less money spent on corrective orthodontia
The longer you breastfeed, the more likely the babies teeth will come in properly.

Protects mothers against anemia (iron deficiency)
...since many exclusively breastfeeding mothers do not begin to menstruate for a year or longer.

Environmental benefits:
Less money spent on menstrual supplies for mom, fewer pads in landfills, and fewer diapers because breastfed babies excrete less. -Dia Michels

Quotes are from the article “101 Reasons to Breastfeed� by Leslie Burby at
http://www.promom.org/101/index.html
Go to the link for references and more information.

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Natural History, Oct 1997 v106 n9 p49(1)

When to wean. Katherine A. Dettwyler.

Abstract: The natural minimum age to wean infants is suggested to be about more than two and a half years, while the maximum age is seven. The weaning ages are enough to allow human brain growth and maturation of the child's immune system.

Full Text: COPYRIGHT 1997 American Museum of Natural History

Breast-feeding in humans is a biological process grounded in our mammalian ancestry. It is also an activity modified by social and cultural constraints, including a mother's everyday work schedule and a variety of beliefs about personal autonomy, the proper relationship between mother and child (or between mother and father), and infant health and nutrition. The same may be said of the termination of breast-feeding, or weaning.

In the United States, children are commonly bottle-fed from birth or weaned within a few months. But in some societies, children as old as four or five years may still be nursed. The American Academy of Pediatrics currently advises breast-feeding for a minimum of one year (this may be revised upward), and the World Health Organization recommends two years or more. Amid conflicting advice, many wonder how long breast-feeding should last to provide an infant with optimal nutrition and health.

Nonhuman primates and other mammals give us some clues as to what the "natural" age of weaning would be if humans were less bound by cultural norms. Compared with most other orders of placental mammals, primates (including humans) have longer life spans and spend more time at each life stage, such as gestation, infant dependency, and puberty. Within the primate order itself, the trend in longevity increases from smaller-bodied, smaller-brained, often solitary prosimians through the larger-bodied, larger-brained, and usually social apes and humans. Gestation, for instance, is eighteen weeks in lemurs, twenty-four weeks in macaques, thirty-three weeks in chimpanzees, and thirty-eight weeks in humans.

Studies of nonhuman primates offer a number of different means of estimating the natural time for human weaning. First, large-bodied primates wean their offspring some months after the young have quadrupled their birth weight. In modern humans, this weight milestone is passed at about two and a half to three years of age. Second, like many other mammals, primate offspring tend to be weaned when they have attained about one third of their adult weight; humans reach this level between four and seven years of age. Third, in all species studied so far, primates also wean their offspring at the time the first permanent molars erupt; this occurs at five and a half to six years in modern humans. Fourth, in chimpanzees and gorillas, breast-feeding usually lasts about six times the duration of gestation. On this basis, a human breast-feeding would be projected to continue for four and a half years.

Taken together, these and other projections suggest that somewhat more than two and a half years is the natural minimum age of weaning for humans and seven years the maximum age, well into childhood. The high end of this range, six to seven years, closely matches both the completion of human brain growth and the maturation of the child's immune system.

In many non-Western cultures, children are routinely nursed for three to five years. Incidentally, this practice inhibits ovulation in the mother, providing a natural mechanism of family planning. Even in the United States, a significant number of children are breast-fed beyond three years of age. While not all women are able or willing to nurse each of their children for many years, those who do should be encouraged and supported. Health care professionals, family, friends, and nosy neighbors should be reassured that "extended" breast-feeding, for as long as seven years, appears physiologically normal and natural.

Substantial evidence is already available to suggest that curtailing the duration of breast-feeding far below two and a half years -- when the human child has evolved to expect more -- can be deleterious. Every study that includes the duration of breast-feeding as a variable shows that, on average, the longer a baby is nursed, the better its health and cognitive development. For example, breast-fed children have fewer allergies, fewer ear infections, and less diarrhea, and their risk for sudden infant death syndrome (a rare but devastating occurrence) is lower. Breast-fed children also have higher cognitive test scores and lower incidence of attention deficit hyperactivity disorder.

In many cases, specific biochemical constituents of breast milk have been identified that either protect directly against disease or help the child's body develop its own defense system. For example, in the case of many viral diseases, the baby brings the virus to the mother, and her gut-wall cells manufacture specific antibodies against the virus, which then travel to the mammary glands and go back to the baby. The docosahexanoic acid in breast milk may be responsible for improved cognitive and attention functions. And the infant's exposure to the hormones and cholesterol in the milk appears to condition the body, reducing the risk of heart disease and breast cancer in later years. These and other discoveries show that breast-feeding serves functions for which no simple substitute is available.


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Susan Reinhardt: Breastfeeding toddler elicits meddling from others

Following is an excerpt from Susan's Reinhardt's newly released book, "Not Tonight Honey, Wait Til I'm a Size 6" (Kensington Books, $12.95).
Never have I encountered so much meddling as when people discover I'm still nursing a child who's got eight teeth, a head full of hair and the ability to string sentences.

By their appalled reactions, one might assume I was putting a teenager to breast, not a 20-month-old toddler.

A couple of months ago, I was in a department store restroom, discreetly nursing so that shopping could continue in relative peace. A woman walked in and stared with disdain.

"How old is that child?" she snapped as she placed her parcels on the counter.

"She's in middle school," I lied, kissing the top of my tot's head. The woman made some muffled comment just as the water came rushing from the faucet.

And it's not just strangers who offer unsolicited commentary concerning the goings-on of others' glands.

It is friends and relatives, including — and especially — my mother, who've chirped for the past year, "When are you gonna wean that child?" Then they are horrified when they see her tugging at my blouse, reaching into a battered brassiere as if fishing for popcorn at the bottom of a bag.

When my toddler purrs, "Miiiiiilk," in that little Southern accent of hers, you can almost feel the wind from the sighing and head-shaking these relatives deem their duty to submit.

How could they be offended by such an adorable act, such a natural, loving expression of motherhood? How could they not know that this is good for her, good for me, good for society. Good for the thighs.

One summer when the baby was 15 months old, she stayed with my parents overnight, and Mama did her best to pry the child from my Playtex. She offered her Coke, Kool-Aid, candy, chocolate milk.

Later in the day, as the three of them were out by the pool — baby in Dad's lap, mother in the next seat — my parents discovered just how attached to the breast this child was.

My daddy had removed his shirt and was slouching just enough so that his chest drew interest. The baby hungrily honed in on his ample cleavage. In her eyes, lactation seemed possible. She leaned in for a closer look and then a scream split the air.

"She saw those old black hairs and red moles and couldn't stop crying," my mother said, laughing until tears filled her eyes.

I told my mother and her troop of nosy hens that the American Academy of Pediatricians, not to mention La Leche Leaguers all over the world, agree the breast is best for as long as a mother and child feel comfortable with the arrangement.

But even though nursing continued to be a pleasurable experience most of the time, I buckled to pressure and tried telling my child, "All gone," or "No more milk, Sweetheart." She'd look at me with sad brown eyes, and that was all it took to give up and give in.

One week, after a few sleepless nights of her tugging and pecking as if I were road kill, I decided to try weaning, at first employing the traditional and doctor-recommended methods such as tapering off or shortening the feedings.

When this didn't work, I listened to the voices of unreason.

"Put a little vinegar on them," my mother-in-law said, so I did and it worked.

For about five minutes.

The next day, remembering how my baby cowered upon seeing the Abominable Snow Man in the "Rudolph" movie, I took a pack of washable Magic Markers and drew the creature on my chest, one on each side, teeth included, hoping she'd be deterred.

It worked.

For about five minutes.

Then she started laughing and pointing, saying, "Snowman," as she dove in for the kill. I washed quickly, before someone called Social Services, and I decided the mural method wasn't going to work either.

The next day, as I sat in the rocker trying to relax, she toddled up with a fist full of markers and a bright pink smile. She yanked my blouse to the side, pushed a red Magic Marker into my hand, and said, "Snowman. Draw snowman, please."

Now I've got two problems.

A toddler who not only wants a meal at the Mammary, but one who also requests art and atmosphere to complete the dining experience.

Susan Reinhardt is a columnist and feature writer for the Asheville (N.C.) Citizen-Times. She can be reached at sreinhardt@citizen-times.com.

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BOOKS THAT ARE SUPPORTIVE OF NURSING PAST THE FIRST YEAR
Mothering Your Nursing Toddler (by Norma Jane Bumgarner)
How Weaning Happens (by Diane Bengson)
Our Babies, Ourselves (by Meredith Small)
The Nursing Mother’s Guide to Weaning (by Kathleen Huggins)
The Baby Book (by William Sears, MD and Martha Sears, RN)
Adventures in Tandem Nursing: Breastfeeding During Pregnancy and Beyond (by Hilary Flower)

POLICY STATEMENTS:
World Health Organization recommends nursing "up to 2 years of age and beyond"
http://www.who.int/child-adolescent-health/NUTRITION/infant_exclusive.htm

American Academy of Pediatrics: "It is recommended that breastfeeding continue for at least 12 months, and thereafter for as long as mutually desired."
http://aappolicy.aappublications.org/cgi/content/full/pediatrics;100/6/1035

American Academy of Family Physicians:

"Breastfeeding beyond the first year offers considerable benefits to both mother and child, and should continue as long as mutually desired....

Breastfeeding should ideally continue beyond infancy, but this is currently not the cultural norm and requires ongoing support and encouragement.85 Breastfeeding during a subsequent pregnancy is not unusual. If the pregnancy is normal and the mother is healthy, breastfeeding during pregnancy is the woman's personal decision. If the child is younger than two years of age, the child is at increased risk of illness if weaned."
http://www.aafp.org/x6633.xml

American Dietetic Association:
http://www.findarticles.com/cf_dls/m0822/10_101/80098997/p1/article.jhtml

More policy statements:
http://www.kellymom.com/bf/start/prepare/bf-benefits.html#statements

Information from Kellymom
http://www.kellymom.com/bf/bfextended/index.html http://www.kellymom.com/bf/bfextended/ebf-benefits.html
Breastfeeding benefits toddlers and young children...
nutritionally, immunilogically and psychologically.

Nursing toddlers benefit NUTRITIONALLY
Nursing toddlers are SICK LESS OFTEN
Nursing toddlers have FEWER ALLERGIES
Nursing toddlers are SMART
Nursing toddlers are WELL ADJUSTED SOCIALLY
Nursing a toddler is NORMAL
MOTHERS also benefit from nursing past infancy

OTHER WEB SITES

"Breastfeeding Beyond Infancy" by Katharina Bishop
http://www.vegfamily.com/babies-and-toddlers/breastfeeding-beyond-infancy.htm

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http://www.boston.com/news/globe/living/articles/2007/03/31/supply_and_deman
d/

Supply and demand

Evidence suggests more women are breast-feeding their children until they're
toddlers and older -- and they're not just earth-mother stereotypes

By Barbara F. Meltz, Globe Staff | March 31, 2007

On a recent Saturday evening, Ruth Tincoff and Bruce Inglehart of Wellesley
had a party for Gwen, their not-quite-5-year-old daughter. They served six
squealing girls squiggly pasta with red sauce and Gwen's favorite dessert --
vanilla cake with raspberry - and - lemon frosting. While the adults munched
on veggies and dip, the girls played dress-up.

Gwen's birthday is coming up in April, but this wasn't an early celebration.
This was Gwen's weaning party.

"Just before I cut the cake, I said, 'We are here to celebrate Gwen's
important decision.' Everybody already knew what it was, so that was pretty
much it," Tincoff says matter-of-factly.

Few children have weaning parties, let alone at such an advanced age. Even
though there is wide acceptance nowadays of nutritional and immunological
benefits of breast-feeding for infants, Americans, by and large, look
askance at mothers who nurse toddlers, preschoolers, or even kindergartners.
Anecdotal evidence suggests there are more of them than ever, however, and
they aren't just earth-mother types in Birkenstocks who homeschool their
children. Tincoff, for instance, works full time as a visiting assistant
professor at Wellesley College. She also had not expected to be nursing Gwen
until she was nearly 5.

"Gwen wasn't a big fan of eating," she says. At first, she stayed with it to
give Gwen the nutrition she needed. Then it became part of their
relationship and a way to comfort her daughter. "It helped Gwen to manage
her emotions. If she was cranky or had a tantrum, nursing helped restore
her," Tincoff says.

Figures from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention and from Abbott
Labs' Ross Mothers Survey show a steady increase in the number of women who
initiate breast-feeding, from 57 percent in 1994 to 72 percent in 2005. Less
well-known is the gradual increase in the age at which breast-feeding stops.
In 1997, 26 percent of mothers were still nursing their babies at six
months; in 2005, 39 percent were. In 1997, 14.5 percent of mothers were
still breast-feeding at 12 months; by 2005, the number had climbed to 20
percent.

No one keeps count beyond 18 months, not even La Leche League International,
a lactation support system. Katherine Dettwyler , the nation's leading
breast-feeding researcher, says women who continue to nurse typically keep
quiet about it, sometimes even to family members, because the culture is so
biased against it.

"People say, 'Oh, he's going to think he's having sex with his mother!' "
she says. "Well, no. Only if you socialize him to think that way. This is a
biological process. Human beings are wired to naturally wean sometime after
2 1/2."

"Nursing an older child is no longer uncommon, but women know people today
tend to be judgmental and feel free to share their opinions," says Heather
Bingham of Arlington, a La Leche leader for nine years. Gail Levy, an
international board-certified lactation consultant with the Center for Early
Relationship Support at Jewish Family and Children's Services, says she sees
more women weaning after 12 months.

"We call these women 'closet nursers,' " says Dr. Ruth Lawrence , a
pediatrician who specializes in infant nutrition at the University of
Rochester. Lawrence, who chairs the American Academy of Pediatrics' section
on breast-feeding, helped write the academy's 2005 position statement that
reaffirms breast-feeding for at least a year and "beyond for as long as
mutually desired by mother and child." The World Health Organization's
recommendation, adopted in 1979, is for a minimum of two years.

Tincoff says she knows at least 10 women who are nursing preschoolers; all
the girls at Gwen's party had recently weaned or are still nursing. Amanda
Lappen of Jamaica Plain, who nurses her 19-month-old twins, says she knows
20 women who nurse children older than hers. Wendy Bosland of North
Attleborough, whose third child, Henry, stopped breast-feeding this winter
at 5 1/2, says she sees many more women now who nurse long term than 11
years ago when she nursed her first child.

Public health campaigns account for the increase in women who breast-feed,
says Lawrence. Those who stay with it, particularly beyond 18 months, tend
to be highly educated. "This is not a cult," she says. "It's about education
and learning that the benefits persist." Research shows that breast-feeding
provides continued protection against infection and allergies.

There is also the matter of the mother-child relationship. For a working
mother who is separated from her child all day, nursing in the morning and
at night is a loving way to reconnect, says Naomi Bar-Yam of the
Massachusetts Breastfeeding Coalition.

Bar-Yam points out that breast-feeding a 3-year-old is very different from
breast-feeding a 3-month-old. Nursing lasts only a few minutes instead of 20
or 30, and typically happens once or twice a day, not six or more times. An
advantage of nursing an older child is the ability to communicate. Mara Rest
of Wayland, who weaned her 5-year-old last August and still nurses her 2
1/2-year-old, likes that she can tell her son, "This isn't a good time. How
about when we get home?"

The ability to set boundaries on nursing is one characteristic of a healthy
nursing relationship, says Dr. Jane Morton, a pediatrician who is a clinical
professor at Stanford Medical School as well as a member of the AAP
breast-feeding section.

"There are no medical or psychological reasons not to nurse long term," she
says. "It's frowned on in the US because the breast has become so highly
sexualized." She says it's a myth to think that a child who nurses long term
will not develop autonomy.

There is not unanimous agreement on this. Some professionals support the
notion that breast-feeding beyond a certain point can create an unhealthy
dependency on the mother. But Texas psychologist Linda Sonna of the American
Psychological Association says there is growing recognition that it's best
to let the child determine when she's ready to wean. Many children "may not
be ready until 5, 6, or even later," says Sonna, who has written many
parenting books including "The Everything Toddler Book."

"There's no reason to think it is abnormal or pathological or sick," says
Nancy Holtzman , board-certified lactation consultant at Isis Maternity
parenting programs in Arlington, Brookline, and Needham.

Norma Jane Bumgarner, author of "Mothering your Nursing Toddler," says women
who experience hostility often are those who invite criticism. "Especially
with older children, a person has to think about what she wants to deal
with," she says.

Rest says she was very private about nursing because she sensed that even
her husband, Dan Balter, was a little squeamish. If that's true, Balter
says, he's over it now. Last week, when they were at a computer store, Rest
disappeared to a corner to discreetly nurse 2 1/2-year-old Joachim. Balter
didn't think twice about dragging the salesman over so they could ask her
opinion. "He didn't bat an eyelash, and neither did I," Balter says.

When long-term nursers wean, they usually do so gradually.

Last fall, Tincoff's bedtime nursing disappeared because she was teaching at
night, so Gwen and her father created a new bedtime ritual of bath and book.
Months later, when days might go by without the morning nursing, Tincoff
asked Gwen, "Do you want to be done with mama-milk? I'm OK with that if you
are." She was.

Contact Barbara Meltz at meltz@globe.com.

C Copyright 2007 Globe Newspaper Company.