DD1 has put her self on a "mind cleansing retreat"

[3girls2luv]

She broke up with her boyfriend and since school was out I let her have a my space account to keep up with her friends and stuff.

Well for that past few days she has been sulking due to the break up and when she checks her comments she sees that her xbf is making himself seem like the victim and making dd look bad to all her freinds. Some of her freinds have turned on her and have become his freinds.

Well last night she cried and we talked and she asked me to disconnect the internet and to take her cell and dd2's cell to work with me and leave them in my desk. I asked her why and she said she needed to rid her life of all the toxic people and their hateful comments and the only way to do that would be to shut her self off from all of it. She said she was going to pray and put all her thoughts in a journal. DD2 has agreed to help her out since they share rooms and she hears dd1 crying almost every night over some hateful comment or text.

So far its working pretty good, they got up at 9a and started laundry and they played on the trampoline for about 30min until it got really hot and my mom said they were writting in their journals and looking at their baby books and childhood pictures.

I hope this works for her but if it does not what can I do to help her? Her boyfriend's mom left her a comment saying "my son can have any girl he wants, you were lucky to have him as long as you did." DD1 asked me not to get involved so I am stepping back but I really wanted to call this woman up and give her a peice of my mind.

[bigstuffs3]

Awww, your poor baby girl. What a crappy thing for that other mom to say. I know it would be really hard for me not to respond to that, but I understand why you are honoring your dd's wishes. I really dread watching my kids grow up and learn about life the hard way.

[SueDid]

Good for her for separating herself from it for a while. Maybe this is the little push she needed to grow up a bit and consider what she wants in a friend, etc. All you can really do is be supportive. There are some things she's going to have to get through on her own, mostly, just be encouraging, let her know that disappointments are part of growing up and we learn from them all. You might find she gets over it pretty quickly.Our oldest had two relationships fizzle so far and he was pretty upset/disappointed at first, but quickly realized that it was for the best. He recently said that he still misses the first girl sometimes, and I think it was more the thought of it all that he missed. He's currently in a new relationship and very happy.

Shame on her x-boyfriend's mom. If you call her up, you are playing the same juvenile game. I'm on my 4th teenager and the biggest thing I've learned is when to keep my mouth shut. I doubt calling her would do anything except fuel the fire.

[3girls2luv]

She is sad because some of her friends turned on her and those friends are fighting with her close freinds and I told her that when she decides to reconnect herself her true freinds will still be there.

Its hard not to say anything to her xbf's mom but I know it won't help anything and I am not going to play her game. I will not miss her son in my dds life tbh he acted too much like my xh and he was getting a bit posessive and jealous.

I can't protect dd from the painful breakups she will go through but I will there to hug her and eat chocolate with her while she cries.

My mom never helped me she just tried to take over which is why I never told her about any thing I went through. My mom knows that something is up with dd1 and her bf but we won't tell her because she throws herself way into it and makes it worse.

[EvilAmy]

I agree with Suedid. If anything I would only delete the comment.

[Tweet]

What a mature girl. I think that is awesome.

the mom,however, sounds like a 12 year old. What. a ninny.

[3girls2luv]

When I got home yesterday my house was so clean I had to walk out and make sure I was in the right house (lol). The girls cleaned everything, dusted, vacummed, even behind the couch was cleaned. They are getting along so well and dd1 says she just feels so free without her phone or the internet. DH says she will probably begin to have withdrawls by tonight but I am prepared for that. My girl friend and her life partner are taking my dds to the movies and ice cream this evening to get them out of the house since I have to work until 9p. I am so proud of how they are handling this and how dd2 is willing to give up her stuff to help her sister. I never had a sister and I wish I did so seeing this just makes my heart melt.

[Tweet]

Aww.

You know, something you could do is to make little mommy/dd dates. My kids love that. And really, just letting her know that you're there to listen and how you think she's handling it so well will go a long way.

[3girls2luv]

We do have little dates. On Tuesday dd1 and I will do something or she will just go with me to run errands and I will usually get her a new lip stick or eye shadow (something small) on Wednesdays dd2 has gymnastics and after we will eithe go run errands or have ice cream ( she needs the calories ) on Sat. dd3 has tumbling and I will take her for a fruit cup and we will run errands together. I have also taken her to Petsmart to look at all the animals and fish. Fridays and Sundays we all do stuff together.

[RaisingThemLeft]

It just amazes me, the adults that will engage in their teenagers relationships like that. My MIL pulled that crap once with my mom when dh and I were fighting (at age 16 and 18). Good for your dd for doing something to get away from it all and for taking the high ground. It will blow over so much sooner if she doesn't engage in it.

[StillSingingMom]

I think I'd tell that kid how proud I am of her ability to manage herself. Many adults aren't able to step back and see what is not working in their lives, and come up with a way to change it. That's awesome. So mature and self-responsible.

Don't engage with her boyfriend's mom. It would set a terrible example, and signal to your daughter that that sort of pettiness is worth your attention, which it isn't. Your daughter was smart enough to walk away; you should too.

The next step, when she wants it, might be to search out positive people to add to her life.