want to get pregnant.. too young?

[teenmommaybe]

Hi there. I'm 20 years old. I really want to be a mother within the next year or 2. I got pregnant when I was 15, but had an abortion which I regret more than words can explain. Ever since then, I have been having the baby itch every day. Me and my fiance(22yrs old) want to have a child, but were not sure if were too young. We both have stable jobs, he works for cablevision and im a dance instructor. Anybody here who had kids at 20? Was it difficult being so young as a parent? Any advice will be very much appreciated. Thanks!

[Maret00]

I think 20 is young with things they way they are with the economy you need to be done with college first. It is really, really hard being a mom, going to school and working all at once. You may not think you need a college education but what would happen if your fiance got sick or died and you had to be the only one working would you make it as a dance instructor what if you want to manager the studio it would help you as far as getting more money to have a college education.

I went back to school after years because my husband is worried about what will happen to us if he wasnt around to help. And he was right. Even if we did have the money for me to be home I would need a deploma so that I dont have to work 2 jobs and care for a child.

[TayNRobbiesMom]

I had my daughter 2 days before i turned 20. I was married as well. Believe me, I LOVE both my kids but wish we would have been settled and buying our own home before having children.

Living in apts w/ babies and small kids SUCKS lol.

[KerryS]

My advice is to wait until you've been married for at least a year or two. Enjoy this time, being with your spouse, just you and him, and with few responsibilities. There will always be time to have a baby in a few years.

[MealsOnFeet]

We had our first a few months before I turned 20. Dh had 2 years of university left and I had just finished my first year. If I could go back, I'd definitely make sure I had my degree. I think buying a house and making sure that we had our finances under control and could live with one income would also be important.

9 years later and we've finally just bought our first house and we just had our fourth and final child. We've had rough times because we never had a big chance to deal with our relationship plus the finances but we're doing ok now!

[3girls2luv]

Yes I agree with what kerry said. Take some time to spend alone with your spouse so you can grow together before you have children. I had my first child at 23 and my second at 26 I felt more ready for my second one mentally than I did with my 1st. I had my third one at 36 and I feel so close to her and even with all the lost sleep I just feel like a better mom being that I was more mature. Its really your choice but be sure you are mentally ready to give your child your undivided attention and that your spouse is as ready as you are to become a parent.

[Now_serving_number4]

I was a teen mom and now at 33 I have 4 kids. I had 2 boys before I was 22. My advice....wait. I adore my kids but I never had much of a chance to live my life. I miss just being me sometimes.

[JudyJudyJudy]

I agree with Kerry and the others. Give yourself some time to enjoy your youth and for you and your fiance to enjoy just each other. I didn't have my son until I was 32, and I feel that I've been a far better mother than I would have been if I'd had him years before. I never felt like I was missing anything, that I should be going out, etc., like so many of my friends and relatives who had their kids in their teens or early 20s did.

[whitnessforhim]

I agree on waiting. I'd also add that you should try to find healing for any issues of regret you may have if it is consuming you that much.

[JudyJudyJudy]

I agree on waiting. I'd also add that you should try to find healing for any issues of regret you may have if it is consuming you that much.
I agree with this as well. Having a baby right now is not the answer to healing.

[MommytoLuke]

I had an abortion at 17 and still have hard days when thinking about it. I wonder about how things may have happened if I hadn't had it. I do not, however, regret it.

My son ( a surprise) was born when I was 21 years old and my daughter (who was very much planned) was born when I was 26. Now, I DO NOT regret my son, I could never feel that way, I love him with my whole heart. I do wish I would have been more careful and held off a few years though. My son also has a disabililty which makes parenting even harder than it already is.

So, I too would wait awhile. My children are the best things that have ever happened to me and my partner. However, once you have them, you can't change it. There will be no more parties and staying out late and "flying by the seat of your pants". It can't happen. You no longer come first.

Maybe get some counseling for your feelings regarding the abortion, it certainly couldn't hurt. I know when my partner and I did, it made our relationship so much stronger. He was very reluctant to do it, but once we did, he admitted that it was one of the best things we've ever done for ourselves.

Good luck to you!

[ChristmasTree]

have you considered becoming a nanny? i found when i was younger that helped the baby itch very much. i got to love, feed, cuddle, read to, etc the baby. it was a great experience !

[TayNRobbiesMom]

have you considered becoming a nanny? i found when i was younger that helped the baby itch very much. i got to love, feed, cuddle, read to, etc the baby. it was a great experience !


i still do this, even w a 3.5 y/o and a 16 month old.

[pawprint]

I had my oldest son at 21. He is a brilliant, awesome little boy and I adore him. I wouldn't change my life for anything. But there are days I wish I had taken more time to just be me before he was born. I love being a mother and having him played a hige role into my coming into myself as an adult. But I would recommend being married at least a year and having a home first.

[RaisingThemLeft]

I had my first at 23 and have no regrets. I did finish college first, and dh was settled in his career, so financially we were fine. I've been a sahm for the past 9 years and while of course it's not a picnic or all roses raising 3 boys, I love it and I don't wish to be doing anything else. I'm 32 now (past the magic age of 25) so I suppose that entitles me to an opinion. Some people here are really down on becoming a parent early in life. There are however, drawbacks to waiting until you are halfway into your 30's to start a family. A steep rise in infertility rates being one of them. Also, I personally would rather not be well into my 50's, raising teenagers. It's just a personal choice, but I don't necessarily buy into this whole extended period of adolecense that so many people seem to favor these days. I don't think anyone here can tell you whether or not you are ready for a baby. IMO, 20 is an adult and I wouldn't automatically discourage you from having a baby within the next couple of years based on age alone.

[StillSingingMom]

If you are ready to commit to being a parent, then you are ready. If you're ready to be a parent, you have a plan for how you are going to support your kid and you have a backup plan.

I don't think there's anything wrong with raising babies in apartments or whatever. You don't need a house and a mortgage to have kids. But man, do you have to be on top of things! If you're planning on college, it's a lot of easier WITHOUT kids. But if you have a deep support network and you really want to work your butt off, go for it.

I have never been happier in my life than since I had my kids. But I sure wish I had my degree- for their sake, as well as my own. Do your potential kids a favor and make a plan for how your life will work before having them...

[TayNRobbiesMom]

If you are ready to commit to being a parent, then you are ready. If you're ready to be a parent, you have a plan for how you are going to support your kid and you have a backup plan.

I don't think there's anything wrong with raising babies in apartments or whatever. You don't need a house and a mortgage to have kids. But man, do you have to be on top of things! If you're planning on college, it's a lot of easier WITHOUT kids. But if you have a deep support network and you really want to work your butt off, go for it.

I have never been happier in my life than since I had my kids. But I sure wish I had my degree- for their sake, as well as my own. Do your potential kids a favor and make a plan for how your life will work before having them...

I guess i wasn't clear, You dont have to be buying a home but you have to make sure where you rent is child friendly otherwise your neighbors can make it difficult.

[Solare]

wait, wait, wait for gods sake wait.

I was a month shy of 21 when I had my first and we'd only been married just over 2 yrs when he was born. I wish to hell I'd waited.

[vulturemom]

I guess I will be the odd man out here and say I think when and how many children you have needs to be a decision made between you and your partner not a board full of strangers.

[AuLait]

I agree with RTL about the prolonged adolescence thing. I also agree that you should have a few years of just you and your fiance/husband before taking the plunge. I had my first child at 26 and hadn't even been married a year before I got pregnant however I had been with my DH for 5 years already and we'd been living together the last 2.

Many in my family have married and had children young and I think its perfectly doable. It just depends on the individual and the relationship. Honestly, I don't know if anyone ever feels "ready" to have a baby even after the first. Its always a surprise (even if you are trying) and brings its moments of panic. I also don't believe in waiting until everything is lined up in a row because things may never line up, or it may take longer and then you are in the time of life where there are fertility challenges. I also am not interested in parenting young kids at 50.

If I were in your situation, I would sit down with your fiance and really determine what you want to happen AFTER the baby comes. Do you want to be a SAHM? That means your income will be cut. How can you manage your money to do that? If you want to go back to work, when and will you need to allot for childcare? Again, I don't feel that you need to have all the details worked out, but a plan or idea of what you want to do. It will also give you a good idea of how much money you might want to save up to cover things like you being out of a job for X amount of months, or covering delivery costs, etc.

I would also suggest getting The Total Money Makeover by Dave Ramsey and reading it. You are at the time of life that can make choices that will positively impact your finances for the rest of your life. This doesn't mean you have to work like dogs and not have children yet, but it will give you really good information on saving and figuring out a way to make what you want happen without debt.

[Babyblue]

dh and I wish we would have started earlier because our our fertility issues. we had our lives planned out, we knew who was doing what after the baby was born and adjusted our finances to fit. we had our first baby days after I turned 23. breastfeeding was tough, but was the only major problem. would that have been changed had I been any older? no. now at age 25 I have had 5 miscarages and am now pretty much unable to get pregnant.

I wish we would have started sooner when I was younger and more fertile.

[Jacksmommy]

I think the right time to have a baby is going to vary a lot. I was older when I got pregnant. In my 20s I was nowhere near ready. I did love working as a nanny during that time though. It let me have all the fun of parenting without the responsibility.

[Ilovemonkeys]

I had my second child when I was 20. I don't regret having kids young, it actually has some perks, but I do seriously, majorly regret not having alone adult time with dh.
We went from hs bf and gf to 18 yo married parents.
Dh had a really hard time towards our mid-20's watching all of our friends go out and be young, finishing their degrees and working on their masters and here we are not able to finish our associates, b/c work and kids come first.

And that is my second regret, not finishing college before I had a child.
We have had some hard times, b/c we had great jobs when we first married and my dh made a lot of money and we were set, we had a new house and cars when we were 21. Then 9-11 happened and the economy took a mild hit that took out dh's job. We've struggled in the last few years. It's hard to find another great job making great money, without a degree.

It's beyond difficult to be a parent, it's impossibly difficult to be a young parent. If you don't have the ability to support yourself, have a good support system, an eager father, you will literally lose yourself.

I say this in all sincerity, i've lost a baby and I know that horrible emtpy feeling well. Do you have a pet? Taking care of an animal is a good way to get some of those mothering instincts out. I'm not being condescending at all, we got our dog after I lost a baby and it did help keep my mind off of things.


I have really bad endometriosis and i've been told if I had not of had my kids young, I might not have been able to have any at all. I think that is part of why I had such an intense drive to have kids at such a young age. The only women in my family that have children are the ones that did it young, under 25.

[Ilovemonkeys]

Oh and FTA: you also need to know that you can plan to work, but you just don't know what will happen after the baby is born.

My ds was born with heart defects and I couldn't have worked if I wanted to, dh worked 80 hours a week to pay for the meds and I took care of ds 24-7 with no help at all.
If we had been depending on my income after he was born, we would have been beyond screwed.

[Meredith]

I guess I will be the odd man out here and say I think when and how many children you have needs to be a decision made between you and your partner not a board full of strangers.

I agree. I was 22 when I got pregnant with DS1. DH and I had been married for a year when I found out I was pregnant, we were ready for parenthood, and I wouldn't change a thing. I would, however, change the amount of time between my two. Having two so close together has been a major challenge for me.

Everyone is ready for different milestones at different ages. I know some 30 year olds that aren't ready for children, but that doesn't mean that there aren't some 20 year olds that are ready for children. It's not my place to decide whether or not you are ready. I can only suggest that you give this a lot of thought, research your options, and discuss this in depth with your partner. Remember that there are people who regret waiting too long to have children as well. Both extremes can have their drawbacks. Also, keep in mind that there are so many things you just can't plan for when you have a child - prematurity, special needs, birth defects, pregnancy complications, multiples, and much, much more.

Having said all of that, I do feel that having a baby to fill a void from a previous terminated pregnancy is not a wise choice to make. I would highly recommend that you seek counseling and healing before you have a baby. Adding to your family could only make that healing more difficult. Best of luck making your decision.

[HammBugga]

I don't think age is an issue (unless you are still in HS or something). The issue is stability. Can you support a child without assistance? Even if one of you loses your job?

My advice is to wait until after the wedding at least. My DH and I were engaged when I accidentally got pregnant with our first son. I had him at 24 and had been with my dh for 7 years. We both had jobs and could support him but all the money we had saved for the wedding had to go toward paying bills while I was on maternity leave. We didn't end up getting married until our son was 18 months and I was newly pregnant (planned) with our second son. I wish we had been able to have our wedding before our first baby and while I was still skinny, lol.

[JudyJudyJudy]

dh and I wish we would have started earlier because our our fertility issues. we had our lives planned out, we knew who was doing what after the baby was born and adjusted our finances to fit. we had our first baby days after I turned 23. breastfeeding was tough, but was the only major problem. would that have been changed had I been any older? no. now at age 25 I have had 5 miscarages and am now pretty much unable to get pregnant.

I wish we would have started sooner when I was younger and more fertile.
There are no guarantees that you would have been more fertile when you were younger. Like me, one pregnancy, regardless of at what age it occurred, may have triggered a problem with your body that prevents you from being able to have another baby.

[Babyblue]

I know that there may have been nothing different judy , but I will always wonder though.

[JulieBaby]

Im 21 and I have (ar you ready??)....THREE kids. My first boy I had when I turned 17, my twins were born when I was 19.5. Its been hard as heck. I honestly do wish I would have waited until I finished high school and at least until I was able to take a short course so I could make more than minimum wage.

I do admit I have been EXTREMELY lucky. Although the boys father has been an unreliable ass I have been fortunate enough to find my current fiancee, who has taken my kids as his, does his best for us and love us unconditionally. Right now we are on a bit of a tight budget, but I know things will get better once the youngest two are in school and I can start to work.

Litlle things become difficult when you have kids, especially young. Fridays are the only alone time my fiancee and I have, and if I want to get out the door for our weekly alone dinners I have to work my butt off all day to be able to get out the door.

Despite this I DO plan on having more kids, I love being a mother too much. BUT I plan on waiting until the boys are much older, until im married and have a good paying job, and until SO finishes building our future home.

[StillSingingMom]

Litlle things become difficult when you have kids, especially young. Fridays are the only alone time my fiancee and I have, and if I want to get out the door for our weekly alone dinners I have to work my butt off all day to be able to get out the door.

Despite this I DO plan on having more kids, I love being a mother too much. BUT I plan on waiting until the boys are much older, until im married and have a good paying job, and until SO finishes building our future home.


I'm nearly forty and I don't get much alone time with my husband. This is not an age-related issue; it's more of a parenting style and having young kids issue.

[kohlby]

My advice is to wait until you've been married for at least a year or two. Enjoy this time, being with your spouse, just you and him, and with few responsibilities. There will always be time to have a baby in a few years.
__________________

Totally agree. You're young enough that you don't have to rush. I got married days after I turned 28 and had my first baby a couple months before 30. DH and I agreed that we would be married for a year before ttc. We had dated for 4 years before marriage, but we still wanted some just us married time. I'd suggest giving it a year after marriage and then decide, longer if you didn't date for long. The time without kids really helps our relationship with the time with kids!

Something else that was important to me was knowing that I could support myself and live on my own without any help for at least 2 years after completeing my education. You may have already done this if college isn't in your plans. But if you haven't, I fully recommend it. That way if something does happen to your husband, at least you have confidence in doing it yourself.

[Nipple_nectar]

I was a teen mom and now at 33 I have 4 kids. I had 2 boys before I was 22. My advice....wait. I adore my kids but I never had much of a chance to live my life. I miss just being me sometimes.

I completely agree:) I was barely twenty with my first and it was so much harder than it had to be. I don't know why I didn't think about financial stability~ it never even entered my head.

I wished I would have waited. Taken a vacation to a glorious place, bought a new car, things like that just faded from my reach for over a decade. That is a long time to wait to treat yourself. Pamper yourself a little, then consider making yourself a couple, are you married?

Not that you have to be, I wasn't when I had my DS. I do regret it though. I did eventually marry and divorce, all within a few years.

[Maret00]

Another thing I thought we would do fine having my son we were a little older and thought is would work. I ended up being so yuk when pregnant with gestaninal diabeties and having no enerygy that I couldnt work as much as we need me to. My husband couldnt pay for everything with his paycheck. Plus my doc bill were adding up since incurance only paid for a portion of the bill. Then our son was in the NICU for a week after he was born and that would have cost us around 3000 if we hadnt gotten assistace we still had to pay a 1000 in the end. I had to go back to work after 5 weeks. I hated that :(

[joshsmom]

My advice is to wait until you've been married for at least a year or two. Enjoy this time, being with your spouse, just you and him, and with few responsibilities. There will always be time to have a baby in a few years.

I strongly agree. We were married for about 2.5 years before kids and we made some great memories during that time. If a baby had come along sooner, we would have been fine and still had much happiness, but I look back at those first few years as some of our most peaceful and enjoyable. Our kids are remarkable and I love life with them, but it is very different for both of us now. Kids change everything and *I* think dh and I both benefited from learning and growing together those first few years before the kids came along.

[spooky_bubble_tea]

My husband and I were married for just a little over a month before I got pregnant.
I turned 19 just five days before my son was born (they were originally going to induce me on my birthday, but had a change of plans).

I wasn't expecting a baby, I used rubbers and was on the birth control pill, but a couple of broken rubbers later and I found myself clinging to the toilet seat with morning sickness.

We are in a financial stick. We live pretty much paycheck to paycheck I owe my mother and grandmother $300 dollars from them helping to pay for Jude's circumcision and we are still trying to save up for buying a new car (until then my mother in law has been giving us some rides since we live close and when we had a car and she didn't, we gave her rides). That is hard. And sometimes I want to pull out my hair.

But relationship wise I don't feel as though I missed any time with my husband. Everyday it seems I learn something new about him, the only difference between us and any other couple our age is that we have a son who we both love beyond words. We get along pretty well and only occasionally argue about silly things that we laugh about at the end of the day.

My biggest issue is the looks I get from total strangers. When I go grocery shopping at Publix with my son you have no idea how many stares and glares I get (doesn't help that I look a couple years younger than I am). It is rustrating because they don't know my story or what I've gone through, yet they still feel the need to judge me. I used to have a bright pink mohawk (totally legit with the sides completly buzzed) and I would get a lot of stares, but it is nothing nothing at all like the way the people look at me in the store that leaves me with this heavy feeling. When I'm with my grandmother and she is pushin the cart with Jude in it people will come up and go "oh what a cute baby! Is this your grandson?" Then when my grandma says "no great grandson" and points me out and I walk up to the both of them the typical response is "oh" and the subject almost immediatly drops with "I have to go do blah blah blah" and that is very hard.

However I have seen some people who haven't been able to take it.
I know a girl who wanted to have a baby really young (I think she started trying at about 15 or 16), and finally she did (after a lot of miscarriges). Right after her son turned a year old she had her second son. She doesn't take the best care of either (in my opinion for reasons I'd rather not talk about straight on the forum), she lives with her husbands mother, neither of the two have a job, and when the husbands mom is home she takes care of the girl's kids as they do whatever.

I know another couple who had a baby when she was about 19 as well. She loves her baby and takes the otmost care of him, but her and her husband/fiance are always fighting.

And last but not least I know another girl who got pregnant at I think 18. Everything looked good with them from an outside prespective. they had financial problems, but that was the only apparent thing. Turns out the stress of the boyfriend not having a job because he simply couldn't find one led to many fights. Those fights led to physical abuse and threats. Until finally the girl kicked him out and now is a single mom trying to rough it out on her own

In my opinion it's like Russian rulette. You don't know what will happen I knew all of these people pre-baby and would have never seen this coming. The guy who abused his girlfriend used to be my good friend in school, we were always joking, messing with him, and he always smiled and tried to make others smile. I was astonished to find out the things I did and every day that goes by I am so thankful I'm in the relationship I'm in and everything is fine and hope it stays that way until the end.

In all honesty it's up to you, no one here can make up your mind for you, just offer thier personal experiance and opinions. Part of me thinks I had a baby too soon another part of me is so thankful things went the way they did and I couldn't imagine it any other way.

[vulturemom]

Im 21 and I have (ar you ready??)

Litlle things become difficult when you have kids, especially young. Fridays are the only alone time my fiancee and I have, and if I want to get out the door for our weekly alone dinners I have to work my butt off all day to be able to get out the door.

Really? I don't see how your age effects how difficult your kids are. I have had kids at 18 and at 35 and I will tell you it was no easier for me to get out the door at 35 then at 18.

[jodyvo]

I started dating my husband when I was 18. We were married when I was 24 and got pregnant with out first child when I was 27. Before getting pregnant we have traveled everywhere, gone on 3 cruises and spent 2 weeks in Hawaii for our honeymoon. I finishes my bachelors degree and we have both worked to great positions in out jobs. We have partied and had a great time.
With all that said I feel like I am able to just enjoy being a parent. There will always be struggles and it is the strength of your relationship that will get you through them. Be a parent changes everything and you have to be ready for that change
Good luck in what ever you decide

[rock__]

Really? I don't see how your age effects how difficult your kids are. I have had kids at 18 and at 35 and I will tell you it was no easier for me to get out the door at 35 then at 18.


LOL so true. My easiest baby was my first, which I had at 22. My 3rd child is more challenging thanmy first two combined, she also has a heart defect. So much more than age goes into what parenting will be like for someone.

However if you aren't sure, go ahead and wait. At 20 there is plenty of time still and your more likely to regret having a child to soon, than waiting at this stage.

[Tweet]

I'm older than vulturemom by a couple of years. I'm chucking at how just AWFUL it is to only go out with your fiance on Friday nights. My husband and I go out every few months. And, no, it's not any easier to get out the door when we do go out. We have three kids, too. Three young kids. As someone else said, that has more to do with the ages of the kids.

And I agree with VM that this is a personal decision. Truly, everyone's opinions and experiences are going to be different here. You have to do what feels right to you and your partner. Think stuff through as best you can and talk. It's really not ever going to be a piece of cake. I personally was not ready for kids in my early 20s. I know some young 20 somethings that are far more mature than I EVER was at that age. So, it all depends.

[JulieBaby]

Really? I don't see how your age effects how difficult your kids are. I have had kids at 18 and at 35 and I will tell you it was no easier for me to get out the door at 35 then at 18.

The thing is that most people around this age (except for me im weird....lol) love going out, dropping everything and just going and being out and about. Its something you tend to take for granted when you dont have kids. Childless people tend to underestimate how much harder it is to keep up an active lifestyle when you have kids.

[vulturemom]

I don't disagree that it is harder to go out and about once you have kids. I just disagree that youth makes it any harder. That is just an adjustment that will have to made unless you decide to remain childless.

[lisanvenice]

I know that there may have been nothing different judy , but I will always wonder though.

Blue I hear people decrying women who are careful and thoughtful about starting their families trying to have it all (As if that is a bad thing). Well dh and I were 25 and still had fertility issues. There are no guarantees in life, you just have to deal with what you are given. Don't let anyone tell you waited too long, you waited just the right amount of time for YOU.

[tanya20]

I am a mom of a 3 year old healthy boy and i am 7 weeks pregnant ! I just turned 20 in may. I have a great job and so does my husband we are verry happy so if you think you are ready go for it ! you dont want to bge a old mom and have a child with down sindrom !!!!

[MrsKitty]

Ohhh please :( Do you really think that kind of attitude does anything for young moms?

[GirlsMama]

I am a mom of a 3 year old healthy boy and i am 7 weeks pregnant ! I just turned 20 in may. I have a great job and so does my husband we are verry happy so if you think you are ready go for it ! you dont want to bge a old mom and have a child with down sindrom !!!!


Nice first post ever on this forum.

I have a friend who had a child at 26 and he has Downs.

[Crabbie]

you dont want to bge a old mom and have a child with down sindrom !!!!

Wow.

[jodyvo]

BTW it is Syndrome

[vulturemom]

I am a mom of a 3 year old healthy boy and i am 7 weeks pregnant ! I just turned 20 in may. I have a great job and so does my husband we are verry happy so if you think you are ready go for it ! you dont want to bge a old mom and have a child with down sindrom !!!!

Wow! That is all I can think to say about this. :eek2:

[Tweet]

I am a mom of a 3 year old healthy boy and i am 7 weeks pregnant ! I just turned 20 in may. I have a great job and so does my husband we are verry happy so if you think you are ready go for it ! you dont want to bge a old mom and have a child with down sindrom !!!!


That is really one of the rudest posts ever.

[rock__]

That is really one of the rudest posts ever.


Sadly, she's only making a point of her own maturity. Perhaps she's a troll. One can hope.

[JudyJudyJudy]

I am a mom of a 3 year old healthy boy and i am 7 weeks pregnant ! I just turned 20 in may. I have a great job and so does my husband we are verry happy so if you think you are ready go for it ! you dont want to bge a old mom and have a child with down sindrom !!!!
And you don't want to be a dumbass, uneducated mother regardless of your age.

[Sams3Boys]

That is really one of the rudest posts ever.


I totally agree. Wow! That's just an awful thing to say.

[MMof5]

EEK!

I was/am a very young mother. I made some choices early on that I regret. However, I don't regret my children. On one hand I say that I wish I had waited so that, as others have said already, I could have spent more alone time with dh. On the other, I will be a very young empty-nester, which I don't really mind. I'll be young Grandma (assuming my children have children). My oldest will be college age when I'm 34 and the youngest when I'm 43.

[StillSingingMom]

I am a mom of a 3 year old healthy boy and i am 7 weeks pregnant ! I just turned 20 in may. I have a great job and so does my husband we are verry happy so if you think you are ready go for it ! you dont want to bge a old mom and have a child with down sindrom !!!!


Sweetie, how do you think that post feels to those of us blessed with a Down's syndrome child?

Also, let's do a reality check. Most Down's Syndrome babies are born to younger parents. That's the facts.

And I really enjoy being an older mom, myself.

[crystal555rose]

I started dating my husband when I was 18. We were married when I was 24 and got pregnant with out first child when I was 27. Before getting pregnant we have traveled everywhere, gone on 3 cruises and spent 2 weeks in Hawaii for our honeymoon. I finishes my bachelors degree and we have both worked to great positions in out jobs. We have partied and had a great time.
With all that said I feel like I am able to just enjoy being a parent. There will always be struggles and it is the strength of your relationship that will get you through them. Be a parent changes everything and you have to be ready for that change
Good luck in what ever you decide

This is me. My husband and I feel like we had a good number of years to focus on each other. Now that our son is here, we face challenges we could not have imagined and have a very solid foundation. After the intense experience of labor, delivery and breastfeeding a newborn we went out to dinner and were like, "Uh...what did we used to talk about?" We have had to work to ensure we stay connected.