MrsKitty
07-08-2009, 12:50 PM
I am looking into getting some books but there are sooo many out there. I need some suggestions from you lovely ladies :) I have a rough idea of what I am looking for.
My philosophy leans away from punishment and more towards guiding behavior. My goal is to have my children act well because they know it is the right way to act, not because they are afraid of the repercussions if they don't, and to use logic in thinking through their actions.
ie.. A friend encourages them to sneak into somewhere with a NO TRESPASSERS sign.
I am not going to sneak there because I know there is a reason I am not allowed to be there. This is probably someone elses private property, or maybe it is unsafe and I could get hurt if I go there.
As opposed to..
If I do that and get caught I am going to be in so much trouble when I get home.. it's not worth the risk of being in trouble.
Distract, redirect, remove worked very well when he was younger. I am finding it isn't anymore. I need creative strategies. I already figured alot of his behavior was caused by being bored and I have made a big effort to fill up our week with activities and have interesting things to do in the house. That has helped alot.
I think one of the biggest problems in our house is inconsistancy between my husband and I. He tends to be heavy handed (not physical, he just comes down too hard on normal preschooler behavior). I think he is trying very hard to do the right thing, and he isn't really sure what the right thing is. I ask him alot to not come down so hard, but lately I haven't been able to give him any really solid alternatives. I am feeling like if I had some solid strategies to offer him, he would listen. He wants to do well. I think both of us are feeling like we aren't quite sure what to do at the moment. He is extremely active and full of boundless energy. It is near impossible to hold his attention for longer than a few minutes at a time. It can be exhausting at times and usually ends up with us being permissive (my case) or shouting (my husband).
So .. a book. I learn by reading, and I read quickly. I need something that fits my philosophy and has some ideas I can implement in it, not just a philosophy to follow. I got my philosophy, now I need some ideas.
Thanks!
My philosophy leans away from punishment and more towards guiding behavior. My goal is to have my children act well because they know it is the right way to act, not because they are afraid of the repercussions if they don't, and to use logic in thinking through their actions.
ie.. A friend encourages them to sneak into somewhere with a NO TRESPASSERS sign.
I am not going to sneak there because I know there is a reason I am not allowed to be there. This is probably someone elses private property, or maybe it is unsafe and I could get hurt if I go there.
As opposed to..
If I do that and get caught I am going to be in so much trouble when I get home.. it's not worth the risk of being in trouble.
Distract, redirect, remove worked very well when he was younger. I am finding it isn't anymore. I need creative strategies. I already figured alot of his behavior was caused by being bored and I have made a big effort to fill up our week with activities and have interesting things to do in the house. That has helped alot.
I think one of the biggest problems in our house is inconsistancy between my husband and I. He tends to be heavy handed (not physical, he just comes down too hard on normal preschooler behavior). I think he is trying very hard to do the right thing, and he isn't really sure what the right thing is. I ask him alot to not come down so hard, but lately I haven't been able to give him any really solid alternatives. I am feeling like if I had some solid strategies to offer him, he would listen. He wants to do well. I think both of us are feeling like we aren't quite sure what to do at the moment. He is extremely active and full of boundless energy. It is near impossible to hold his attention for longer than a few minutes at a time. It can be exhausting at times and usually ends up with us being permissive (my case) or shouting (my husband).
So .. a book. I learn by reading, and I read quickly. I need something that fits my philosophy and has some ideas I can implement in it, not just a philosophy to follow. I got my philosophy, now I need some ideas.
Thanks!