Need avice/info on tubal ligation...

[lisam]

Hi ladies,

I need some info/advice from those of you who may have had their tubes tied, or is close to someone who has.

Here is a little background. I am currently 30 weeks pregnant with number 4. This was NOT a planned pregnancy. In fact I had already had my referral to my tubal class. I had gone to the tubal class. Everything I needed to get an appointment. Unfortunately, at the hospital I have to go to...military...they do not let you schedule your tubal. You literally have to have them call you...they say we have an opening tomorrow, and you have to be available.

They called me twice last year..once the day before I was literally packing and moving into military housing, the day before Thanksgiving, and once the day before I left to go to Bangladesh to visit my hubby, Decmeber 23rd. So, needless to say I couldn't take either appt. So, I left to visit hubby in Bangladesh...and I literally got pregnant the night I got there..Christmas Eve....the irony is I wasn't even supposed to visit hubby, he asked me to come at the last second....

So, to make a long story short...I am planning on having my tubes tied after my delivery, before I am discharged, since I already had planned on it before this pregnancy, and all the paperwork is done.

But, in doing all my research on the subject...I hear about "post tubal syndrome"...and the fact that it is an abdominal procedure....I am getting a little leery...

This is hubby number 2 for me. And, with hubby number one, we had agreed for him to get a vasectomy which he did, after we had our third. We were both done with kids. Now, after being divorced for 3 years..he tells me he never really wanted a vsectomy and I made him do it. Hubby number two is now saying he wants to get a vasectomy, as he is concerned about me having abdominal surgey after the birth..he is also going back to Bangladesh 10 days after a deliver...so he's worried something might happen he won't be here for. But, I don't want to be bit in the ass by another guy telling me I "made" them get a vasectomy, at some point. He wasn't worried originally, but the more I explained the procedure..the more he has become worried.

I know I am done having babies...I was done having babies...:) So, I am trying not to second guess myself on taking a stand to deal with my own reproduction..and not pass the buck to someone else, you know?

But, I wanted to know if any of you had some insight. I can surf the net all I want....but nothing is as good as personal experience. Is the scarring bad? How hard was it, if you had it right after delivery? Did it affect nursing? These are all questions that the doctors didn't cover....

Thanks, I really look forward to your replies. Any, and all, opinions and info are really appreciated!
Cheers!
Lisa

[kohlby]

If he's saying he wants to get a vasectomy, then have him get it! If he turns it around and says you made him - you know that you didn't. Someone can blame you for anything they want. What's important is that you know the truth. You can't control what they say later. But you can have absolutely no guilt since you know the truth is that he wants to get the vasectomy.

My husband will be getting a vasectomy - even though I had a c-section and knew this last baby was our last. I've known way too many women who have had problems they think are/were related to their tubals. I ended up with complications from my c-section this last time as it was, I didn't need anything else added in. My husband is fine with getting a vasectomy and he also realizes that it's a simpler procedure for him than for me.

[maksmom]

My husband had a vasectomy for the same reason yours is considering it. We knew that we did not want me to have surgery after childbirth. A friend of mine did have her tubal after the birth of her third and she was in more pain and discomfort which did make it harder on her, of course. She also had a staple that came out when one of her girls climbed up in her lap. She also had trouble nursing, but I don't know if that was related to the tubal or not.

I did not want to be separated from my baby, for any length of time. And I wanted my recovery to be as easy as possible, so that I could enjoy my babymoon. I think you xh maybe put off by you having another child or your divorce or both and he regrets his decision, and now wants to blame it on you. I bet he was fine with getting snipped when he had it done.

[StillSingingMom]

My SIL had a tubal after her last delivery and said it was easy to recover from and she was glad she did it.

However, my DH got snipped after our last delivery, because there was no sense in opening up my abdomen right after labor.

Sounds like you guys should spend some more time talking about who wants what and why. You should both feel completely comfortable with the choices you make.

[ColleenF30]

If he wants to get his done then I would certainly let him. Just make sure that he is sure about the decision he is making.

[ControlFreak]

I had a tubal after delivering my 3rd child. However, I had a C-section, so they were already in there. The pain was a little bit worse than my other C-sections but not debilitating. I was able to nurse with absolutely no problems. If I had not had a C-section, I'm not sure I would have had the procedure done immediately after childbirth.

I'd let your DH get the vasectomy if he is willing to do so. You are going to have enough to worry about without adding recovery from a surgical procedure to the mix.