Incredibly sad about weaning

[bedeilly]

So my DS refused his "nah-nah's" for the first time the other night. First he bit me really hard, then refused to go back to the breast. Last night and this morning he refused when i asked if he wanted some. So we might actually be all done :(

Now the details. . . DS is 21 months old, and I am expecting again, about 14 wks along. I was told by my midwife that he might wean on his own while I'm pregnant, but i was simply unprepared for this actually happening. he certainly doesn't nurse as much as he did when he was younger, and has been sleeping through the night for several months now. (I would say he was still getting up once a night until 18 months or so.) My breasts are tender from the pregnancy and u suspect very little milk production, so it's not as if he "needs" to still be nursing, but it has been in incredibly special time for us. I'm just so sad to let it go, though i know I must. I never expected to nurse as long as I have - was happy to make it to 1 yr, and then we just kind of kept going. I continued to pump at work until about 15 months, and then it has been nighttime/morning and before naps on weekends since then.

Any advice on how to deal with this without feeling so sad? Maybe I just need to feel what i'm feeling, and know this is normal, but it's really hitting me.

[Jacksmommy]

It's normal to be sad about weaning. It's normal to feel things more strongly when you're pregnant. It's still hard. Your son may still nurse yet. I wouldn't assume he's going to be completely weaned just yet, but it is common for babies to wean during a pregnancy because of the lack of milk. He may pick it up again later - if you let him. Try to make time for cuddling and stories and things like that. I do think it eases the sadness of weaning - for you and for him.

[sammysmama]

Jacksmommy - Thanks for the advice. We have been doing extra cuddling at night, sitting in the same spot where we used to nurse, but now we seem to end up lying face-to-face with his arm draped around my neck. So sweet. I don't know how long I'll continue to lie with him until he falls asleep - maybe just until we are both used to the new arrangement. I do believe in child-led weaning, not something that should be forced. But I'm still sad. I'm also afraid that he's more interested in chomping on me, based on a few times in the last few days when he still comes to me, but ends up biting.

Did I see that you have a newborn? Congrats!! How old is you LO now, and how about other child/children? How long did you nurse the first?

[sammysmama]

By the way, I seem to have set up two different profiles for myself - one on my personal computer, and one on my work computer, hence the different screen names/pics. Must get this resolved!

[Jacksmommy]

Jacksmommy -

Did I see that you have a newborn? Congrats!! How old is you LO now, and how about other child/children? How long did you nurse the first?


Thank you. Christina is 12 days old. Jack is almost 4 1/2, and he still nurses at bedtime most nights.

[Mocosita]

I'm 13 weeks and the nursing is starting to aggravate me. I'm feeling a bit conflicted as I don't want to cut him off but sometimes, my toes curl from the sensitivity.

I can see how you would be sad over the weaning, but like Jacksmommy said, he may pick it up again. Hang in there!

[Jacksmommy]

I'm 13 weeks and the nursing is starting to aggravate me. I'm feeling a bit conflicted as I don't want to cut him off but sometimes, my toes curl from the sensitivity.

I can see how you would be sad over the weaning, but like Jacksmommy said, he may pick it up again. Hang in there!


I silently counted to 10 for a lot of nursing sessions while pregnant. Jack actually accepted that limit pretty well. I just told him that I was really tender and held him close when I felt I couldn't let him nurse longer. The sensitivity lasted my entire pregnancy. He has been very happy now that I have milk again - like an unexpected bonus for him.

[bedeilly]

Mu nipple sensitivity really didn't kick in until the 2nd trimester, so just in the last week or two. I was experiencing the painful latch that you describe. Jacksmommy, how wonderful that Jack hung in there and came back to you even after pregnancy. I'm hoping my little Sammy will do the same. In place of nursing, the last few nights we've just snuggled, nose-to-nose. This morning after he had been awake for a while, he climbed up on my lap and did the 'na na?' question, but then didn't seem interested when we got in our usual position. I need to accept that if this is the end of our nursing relationship, it's perfectly ok.

[Jacksmommy]

Mu nipple sensitivity really didn't kick in until the 2nd trimester, so just in the last week or two. I was experiencing the painful latch that you describe. Jacksmommy, how wonderful that Jack hung in there and came back to you even after pregnancy. I'm hoping my little Sammy will do the same. In place of nursing, the last few nights we've just snuggled, nose-to-nose. This morning after he had been awake for a while, he climbed up on my lap and did the 'na na?' question, but then didn't seem interested when we got in our usual position. I need to accept that if this is the end of our nursing relationship, it's perfectly ok.


Yes. It's best to accept changes as they come. There are benefits there as well. I didn't get kisses from Jack until he stopped nursing so much. I think his affection quota was pretty much fulfilled by nursing. Now that it's more infrequent, I get great hugs and kisses =)

[Sheena19]

It really makes me sad, too and happy to hear that I am not the only one who is feeling the same thing about weaning my baby. He is already 16months and I promised to wean him when he can already walk, but until now, I cannot. :(

[twinsplus1]

Ahhhh...so nice to hear that I am normal. My baby (and she will be my last) is 11 months and I'm already stressed about weaning her. I have 6 year old twins who were never able to nurse and I was/am so pleased that I got the chance to nurse this sweet baby. I'm feeling pressure from family and at work to wean her as she approaches a year old but I'm not ready for it to be over. I would love to stop pumping at work (3 days a week) when she turns one year old but I worry that I will then be "dry" when I am home with her (4 days a week). Even on work days I nurse her before I leave (430am) and when I get home (730pm) and I fully intend to keep this up as long as she wants. It's the daytime that is problematic. Any suggestions - any ideas - anyone else struggling with this "milestone"?

[Christal32284]

I've actually been wondering the same thing, so I'm hoping others will chime in with details.
I do, however, know a girl who works long shifts as a server random days of the week. She doesn't pump at work, but nurses her son when they're home together. Her son is 10 months old. While I've heard that being on a consistent schedule is best so the body knows when to regulate milk, I also know it's possible to be able to nurse without pumping at work.
I pump 2-3 times a day 5 days a week and I plant to let my son lead the way when it comes to weaning. But I keep wondering if/when I can drop those daytime pumping sessions - and whether doing so will affect my supply on the weekends. My supply is established enough, that I don't think it will make a huge difference... and if it does, i'm assuming DS will be eating more solids by then, so the day-time nursing won't be much of an issue.
Sorry, not much help... I hope you get more replies.

[joseiha]

i never thought i would nurse very long. always planned on pumping and bottle feeding. now j is 8 mnths and dsnt get his bm in any form but directly from me. We love it. i never ever thougth that i would have reservations about weaning or thoughts of tandam nursing. Now that i read all of these posts i start to really ponder it. i know that i am not ready to wean. i know that im getting close to wanting a second child but the thought of loosing the nursing relationship makes me kinda sad. I read these posts and i feel your sadness.. i feel sad to jsut thinking about it. oh how my thoughts and feelings have changed since i had j. I hope you find a way to snuggle it out with your baby and get thru the weaning process. and know that your not alone.. even those of us who arent even to that point yet can feel the same pain.

[LeeRain]

Mu nipple sensitivity really didn't kick in until the 2nd trimester, so just in the last week or two. I was experiencing the painful latch that you describe. Jacksmommy, how wonderful that Jack hung in there and came back to you even after pregnancy. I'm hoping my little Sammy will do the same. In place of nursing, the last few nights we've just snuggled, nose-to-nose. This morning after he had been awake for a while, he climbed up on my lap and did the 'na na?' question, but then didn't seem interested when we got in our usual position. I need to accept that if this is the end of our nursing relationship, it's perfectly ok.
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[yasmina]

I feel ashamed to say I really don't know what you're all talking about... I breastfed for 7 months and was so happy to stop and get my breasts back! :)
You'll see, it will be a lot more fun than you may think now...