I'm a BAD Advocate!

[chaosKOSMOS]

So....hopefully I didn't scare someone from breastfeeding today.

I was shopping at the commissary and they don't have much choices in disposable breast pads. I try to use cotton pads as much as possible, but some days I just can't get to the laundry (5 men + 2 ladies = LOTS of laundry).

Well, I was already having a bad breastfeeding day. DD has been eating constantly, was interested in solids for a while, but has recently decided she wants nothing to do with them, but still fusses when she sees the rest of us eating. Once in a while she'll act excited when I fix her something, but then she'll just close her mouth and not want any after 1 tiny spoonful.

So anyway, I have so much going on at home (laundry, dishes, cleaning, errands, etc.) and I have been so tempted to just get her some formula.... to maybe help hold her over for at least 1 feeding/day. I called DH and vented for a while to him. He tries to be supportive, but he isn't very knowledgable in regards to BF'ing, so he can be quite the enabler when I am tempted to just buy a can of formula.

As has happened the past couple of times at the commissary, I pass the baby aisle, linger around the formula for an extra second, and then I'm scared away and decide I just can't do it.

Well, the girl at the check out was asking about DD and how old she is and if I'm BF'ing. I said yes, but I know my response didn't sound like I was thrilled about it. She asked about the breast pads I bought, and I told her my honest opinion on them... that they aren't my first choice, but it's all the commissary offers (it's kinda small, as we live on a tiny island). I would have to go out into town to buy something better (but then I would need Yen instead of American money).

I didn't mean to vent to her, but I just wasn't having a good day, and DD wanting to nurse AAAAAALL DAY LONG wasn't helping my attitude. So she was like, "wow. You are scaring me about breastfeeding. I don't know if that's what I want to do." She was sort of kidding, but it snapped me out of my.....well, whatever funk I was in.

I immediately told her about the benefits and how it has turned out so much better and I'm so glad that I don't have to spend so much money on formula. She was like, "yeah! Every time I ring up a can of formula for someone, I cringe!" We ended up talking about some of the benefits, and then she was like, "see, now you're making me like it, I don't know what to do."

I was so glad that I convinced her to see the good side (I'm sure she was already convinced anyway) but now I'm afraid that I might have scared her a bit. I don't know if I'll see her again, or how soon because they seem to rotate employees a lot. But I am just so worried that I might have added some things to the "cons" list of breastfeeding.

I feel like such a rotten person, and I really need to learn to leave my personal attitude towards my own experiences at the door! I know breastfeeding is the best thing for baby. I get a little sad when I think of my friends and family who bottle feed from the start, with no legitimate reasons for bottle feeding. Then I go and almost scare someone just because I was having a bad day. Fooey!

I hope she's as bright as she seems, and doesn't let my negative experience today change her mind about breastfeeding. I'm hoping to see her again soon. I'll try and give her this website address so if she needs support or has any questions.

The good news is, the Naval hospital here, on the island, is VERY pro-breastfeeding. There is tons of support :)

Grace

[whitnessforhim]

Don't beat yourself over this momma! Nothing in life that is worth having is easy...that is just a fact. Yes it takes dedication and effort to nurse rather than formula feed but the pay off in the end is immense! She sounds like a smart girl and will figure this out on her own about which is the better choice.

I know that some days are tougher than others but remember that formula more than likely won't make your life easier it just might complicate things...i.e. constipation, gas, reactions, etc. The grass always seems greener on the other side until we're there :)

Keep up the good work! This will get better!

[StillSingingMom]

Ahh, Grace, you're making me miss the Navy. The commissary. Going to Japan...

I keep thinking about seeing if I can get back in when I finish nursing school.

Everybody has a rough day now and then, whether breastfeeding or formula feeding. That's part of the whole parental cookie.

Paper towels can be pretty effective as substitute pads. Just sayin'.

[chaosKOSMOS]

Thanks ladies :)

whitness, you are SO RIGHT! I don't know why I always think that taking extra time to clean out baby bottles, warm up formula, pay extra money, etc. would be "easier". I guess it's a "heat of the moment" type of thing. Right away, I could mix formula, pop the bottle into baby's mouth, but then I'd be stuck dealing with cleaning the bottle later, dealing w/baby's upset tummy, and baby most likely being hungry and STILL wanting to be breastfed afterwards (happened before w/older DC). This is all ASSUMING that DD would even TAKE a bottle. DH had to try and give her formula once because I was stuck in the ER for a while (was NOT feeling well enough to take her in with me and feed her, I had a serious migrain...puking and everything) and she was NOT having it! Poor DH wasted money on bottles, formula (soy because he knew I'm not a fan of dairy), and time on sterilizing, warming, etc. And then she screamed her head off for 3 hours straight!

StillSingingMom, are you going to try and go commissioned if you go back? I was a Marine for 4 years, and I gained a TON of respect for the Navy when we deployed with them. I am totally done with the Marine Corps, though. DH can have it, LOL. I'll just tag-a-long, wherever he's sent, LOL.

Well, it seems that I may be "over" my rough days. DD will be 6 months on the 17th. She has shown some serious signs of being ready for solids, and after reading Jack Newman's article on starting solids, I am no longer worried about going ahead and feeding her. I have let her taste things here and there, and thought that maybe she wasn't ready when she turned her nose up at infant cereal (it should be no surprise, none of my other kids liked it either). But whenever we have some savory table food, she starts screaming and jumping around, and reaches for our food. I gave her a taste today and she kept wanting more!

We'll see how things go tomorrow. But yeah, I'm thinking that it was a growth spurt she hit and knowing that she can start having solids is helping me get through it.

Thanks again, ladies :)

Grace

[StillSingingMom]

I just let my kids taste what I was eating (while keeping an eye out for things like honey and major allergens.) Much easier than dealing with baby food. Not every baby likes cereal, and cereal doesn't have much nutritional value, anyway. All over the world, babies grow up eating things like curried lentils and they are just fine.

I'd love to go commissioned. I couldn't afford to support the family on enlisted pay, that's for sure! So we'll see what happens when I finish nursing school. They're always changing the rules, and I'm coming up on the age limit. Maybe I'll get really lucky and at least get to be a reservist, which would really be my cup of tea. I can take the occasional longer assignment, while still basing my life around what we've got already.

I really loved being a reservist before. It was really rewarding to travel, and work, and meet such cool people, and be able to offer skills they didn't normally have access to. I often spent deployments doing (for me) simple things, like helping sailors learn to write web pages, or just figure out how to use help pages and manuals to learn new skills. I often got to see people re-invent themselves before my eyes. I love the moment when a young sailor looks at me and says "Hey, I can DO this!" Yep, you sure can.

I myself have gained a ton of respect for the Marines! I didn't work with too many, as I was attached to a maintenance activity, but our unit supported lots of people who deployed with Marines. And I have a couple of good friends who are Marines or ex-Marines.

[LoganAndKeelysMom]

Everyone talks about choosing to breastfeed because it's best for baby. Does it make me selfish that thats not why I chose to do it?
I wanted that one on one time with my babies. Noone could replace me, and I had to be the one to feed and take care of them. They needed me. Does that make me selfish?

[StillSingingMom]

Not in my book. I think babies need their parents more than they need anything else. So if you feel motivated to snuggle, feed, love on, sing to, whatever your baby then obviously that's a good thing.

I honestly believe that it is good for babies to have the same people taking care of them every day as much as possible. It can be more than one person, it can be lots of different people- but my babies showed obvious signs of distinguishing between different people at birth. It seems like a no-brainer that giving babies the security of the caregiver is just a good idea.

[whitnessforhim]

Everyone talks about choosing to breastfeed because it's best for baby. Does it make me selfish that thats not why I chose to do it?
I wanted that one on one time with my babies. Noone could replace me, and I had to be the one to feed and take care of them. They needed me. Does that make me selfish?

I absolutely love that my DD desires, with such intensity, this closeness with me. And I didn't know it in the beginning but now I know that this would be the real reason why I would choose to nurse more children. Nothing compares to this in my book. So I think we all feel a whole lot of what you just described.

[chaosKOSMOS]

LoganandKeelysMom, I think it would make you selfish if it didn't provide anything good for your children, but it obviously does...so I guess you could say that there are perks for you when it comes to providing your children with the best start in life. KWIM?

StillSingingMom, I wanted to go reservist (almost did just before finding out I was preg w/DD) but we had so much going on at the time that I actually didn't have time to keep up with getting back into shape and being prepared for them to send me somewhere. Also, we found out we might be going to Okinawa, and I did NOT want to ruin our chances, LOL. I love it here!

Yeah, I have been giving DD some table food.... I know some may say she's a little young, but she's being going at it w/meat! My 2nd DS did this, too. We were at a beach party once, and I had a BBQ chicken breast in my hand. He kept squeaking and fussing, and jumping around in my arms. Finally, he ripped the half of chicken breast that was in my hand, out of my hand, and ate the rest of it! He was 5 months at the time! The dirty look he gave me, well there was no way I was going to pry it out of his hands, LOL.

It's funny, you would think that the more children you have, the easier this gets... but I swear, I forget everything almost as soon as I become pregnant with the next, and it's like I'm starting from scratch! LOL

Grace