Is relactating strange?

[angel25705]

I stopped nursing my son at around 4 weeks because we weren't getting a good latch. It seemed so much easier to my sleep deprived mind but I ended up feeling so guilty for "taking the easy road" so I decided to try again at around 7 weeks. It took me until he was 13 weeks to get my supply up enough again to nurse exclusively but I ended up really loving it.
He's now a few days past 5 months and I'm spending the weekend at my parents house and we're having a huge family weekend. I didn't think it'd be a big deal because they were supportive before I stopped nursing so I figured they still would be. I got to their house around 8 this morning and after the long car ride he was hungry. My mom wanted to hold him right away because they haven't seen him since he was 2 months old. I told her that I needed to feed him first then she could hold him. Then I sat down and put on my cover and she asked what I was doing. I told her that I had started nursing again and that we were doing good with it. She gave me this weird look and said, "That's a little strange but whatever you like, you're the mom." I didn't think it was strange but I've never known anyone to do this. Is it strange for me to have started nursing again? I really like it and he's doing well so I'm not going to stop no matter if it is, I'd just like to know how all of you feel about it.

[StillSingingMom]

No. Why would it be strange? It sounds like your mom is a little uncomfortable with nursing. She'll probably get used to it. Remember a lot of folks know diddly-squat about nursing. They may not know that it is even possible to relactate. And there's a lot of weird ideas out there- a lot of people think you can't nurse after four months, or six months, or whatever.

The only way to know what your mom is thinking is to ask her. If you care what she's thinking, which isn't necessarily true. It may be more important to just give her time to get used to the situation. It may also be more important for you to communicate to her what you want her to know about it- "Yeah! I'm so pleased. I was afraid I wouldn't be able to nurse anymore, and he's doing so great. It really makes me happy that he'll get all the benefits of breastfeeding, like lower risk of ear infections, and obesity, and diabetes, and food allergies..."

Also, I can understand why your mom would want to hold the baby right away, but after a long car ride, of course he would be hungry and probably need a diaper change as well.

I think that's really great that you were able to get your latch and supply going again.

[angel25705]

Thank you for your support. I do care what my mom thinks; I call her for everything baby related because this is our first and I feel clueless sometimes. She had 5 kids and only nursed us each for 6 weeks before she had to go back to work so I think you're right about her not knowing much about BF. The last time I saw her he was still on formula so she was able to feed him and I think she expected to be able to do that again. I may pump once or twice this weekend so she can feed him.
I've never nursed infront of people before so this is new to me; I feel very exposed even though I have on a cover. He just woke up from his nap and I was nursing him when my 5 year old nephew came over and wanted to see why he was "hiding". I was trying to think of a way to explain it to him when my SIL helped me out. They just got here and she nursed my nephew for 8 months and has had to explain BF to little ones before. She is so informative. She asked if I had nursed in public yet and I told her no so apparently after lunch we're going to the park so she can teach me "the tricks of the trade".

[crystal555rose]

I am surprised your mom did not know you were nursing again, she seems really important to you. Maybe that was the reason she was caught off guard in addition to not realizing that relactating is possible.

That is amazing that you were able to relactate! I am glad you are on here to give hope to other moms who are having a hard time breastfeeding.

I am also weirded out nursing in front of friends and family even though they are totally supportive. Nursing in public- ugh I hate it. Since breastfeeding is not common in our culture (sad for so many reasons) you are an oddity which is never fun. It is fine when you may inspire others but in most cases you are just some weird mom. I wish I could be more of a pioneer.

[angel25705]

I didn't say anything at first because I wasn't sure I could actually do it and, to be honest, I wasn't sure if I would give up again or not. After I had it down I did tell her but I guess she didn't think I was exclusively BF. When I talked to her later today she said she thought we still did formula at daycare so she thought I wouldn't mind her feeding him.
I hate that it's not more common because if it was then I probably never would have had such a hard time to begin with; I would have had someone around me to teach me before he was born. I just assumed that BF came naturally and the people that didn't do it just didn't want to. I had no clue that I would have to learn and teach him at the same time and the shock of not being instantly successful at it made me feel like a failure.
Luckily for me my MIL BF both her kids for 18 months each and when I explained everything to her she drove the 3 hours to our house every weekend for 5 weeks to help teach me; if it hadn't been for her I never would have been able to relactate. She said that she assumed that my mother was teaching me and thought it would be over stepping her boundaries by asking if I needing help. I told her to never hold back when it cames to offering help; us new moms need all we can get.

[angel25705]

Oh, and when we went to the park I brought a bottle of expressed milk in case I wasn't comfortable and we were there so long that I did end up using it so it wouldn't go bad in the heat. While I was feeding it to him this older woman came up to me and said, "Sweety, you really should be breastfeeding; that formula stuff is toxic." I couldn't believe it. My SIL told her that I was giving him expressed breast milk and that she needed to mind her own business. Women that approach BF like that are part of the reason it's not as common anymore; there's no need to attack me even if it had been formula.

[crystal555rose]

Okay, it makes more sense now. She just wanted baby immediately which I understand. My mom is the same way, although she knows not to get in the way of the boob. But she keeps my son two days a week, so she wants him immediately even though she sees him all the time. If your mom thought he was still taking formula then she was probably anticipating feeding him for a long time. What you saw was disappointment in not being able to cuddle him now- not disappointment in you!

Wow! Moms just can't win. If you BF someone gives you attitude for doing something disgusting. If you FF then someone gives you attitude for not providing baby with the best. Geez!