What is appropriate clothing for a funeral?

[MrsKitty]

We are flying out again for my grandfathers funeral. Im having some anxiety over what is appropriate to wear.

The last time I went to a funeral I wore all black and I was the only one, the person who passed was a classmate of mine, and most of the people there were younger I guess? There were alot of jeans a tshirts.

This is for my grandfather, I just don't feel comfortable wearing casual clothes to his funeral, but I don't have anything all black that would fit. Is black and white okay? Does the color matter as long as it is dress clothing?

What about children? I probably have dressier clothing for the baby, all of my three years olds clothes are bright play clothes.

I really don't want to show disrespect to anyone there. Most people are going to be much older, Christian or Mennonite..

[minxs]

It will depend a bit on who will be there (grandmother ? elder generations?)
If you don't want to wear black, I would opt for a demure color (dark blue, dark green, grays). I normally would pick something that would be appropriate if you would go for a job interview for an admin position at a somewhat bigger company. (with an interview you would like to focus the attention on your skills, not your appearance), So no bright colors, big jewelry, lots of makeup etc.
Some nice dark slacks and a cream top with print would work well.
For the kids you could get away with a dark (T-)shirt (no print), dark pants/skirt and polished closed toe shoes.
Based on what is normal in your family (strict dress code for x-mas, easter, or B-days) you can tune it up or down.
The last funeral i went to we all wore yellow, orange, red or pink hawaii shirts because that was the guy's favorite outfit.

[HammBugga]

I always wear a black dress or black pants and a nice, not too colorful shirt.

[ChristmasTree]

awww honey i am so sorry about your grandfathers passing. (((hugs)))

i have never worn black to a funeral. i wear anything as long as it isn't a bright colour. Blue is a nice colour to wear.

[pawprint]

my dad was trying to get me to go to a funeral for someone i barely know. I told him I had nothing black to wear and he said no one wears black to a funeral anymore. He's 58, so not some young casual guy. So it must be so.

I'm sorry for your loss MK.

[JudyJudyJudy]

I'm sorry about your grandfather. :hug:

Around here people only wear black if they just happen to like an outfit that's black. I see a lot of people dressing very casually lately for funerals, but I prefer to hit the middle ground: I usually wear black dress pants and a nice blouse. (I wear black pants because I like black, not because I'm attending a funeral.)

[KatieLou]

(((hugs)))

Around here, pretty much anything with any about of decency flies. Normally I will wear dress pants and a dressy top, or a little dress. Nothing really bright and flashy.

[JudyJudyJudy]

I will say that I was shocked shitless at how dh's cousins were dressed at his grandmother's funeral. Most of them were dressed like hoochie mamas; that may not be PC–usage, but it is totally true.

[Suzette]

I'm so sorry Kitty.
Black is not necessary. I'm like Judy, though, and happen to own a lot of black.
Last year, i went to a wake in my scrubs as I was on lunch hour and thatw as the only time I could attend.
I once went to a wake for the father of a young girl my dd is friends with. He was in the union, and all his co-workers came in jeans and union logo jackets. It was fine.

[QuiltyConscience]

We are flying out again for my grandfathers funeral. Im having some anxiety over what is appropriate to wear.

The last time I went to a funeral I wore all black and I was the only one, the person who passed was a classmate of mine, and most of the people there were younger I guess? There were alot of jeans a tshirts.

This is for my grandfather, I just don't feel comfortable wearing casual clothes to his funeral, but I don't have anything all black that would fit. Is black and white okay? Does the color matter as long as it is dress clothing?

What about children? I probably have dressier clothing for the baby, all of my three years olds clothes are bright play clothes.

I really don't want to show disrespect to anyone there. Most people are going to be much older, Christian or Mennonite..


I'm sorryabout your grandfather.

I don't think all black is necessary, I would just go with dark colors and simple lines. Dress pants or long skirt and white shirt would be fine and appropriate.

I wouldn't worry much about the children's clothes.

[JustMoi]

All black isn't necessary. Somber colors, dress clothing (dress pants and blouse would be fine). NO jeans, no tshirts, no cleavage baring clothing, no short skirts, etc.

As for the kids, if they are old enough to be present, then they are old enough to be dressed appropriately. It's called respect.

[still_me]

I'm sorry about your loss.

I think a nice pair of pants and a dressy shirt would be good. Khaki pants or something like that for the kids.

[MrsKitty]

Thanks to everyone (with the possible exception of JustMoi? I'm not entirely sure if that "It's called respect" was directed at me, but if so, I found it quite rude and a bit hurtful).

I have a long black and white skirt and matching blouse thing, which I am pretty sure I can breastfeed in, so I think thats what I will do. Shoes will be the next hard thing.. my shoes are all holeysoles, runners, and club shoes :S

The baby has several darker colored dresses so shes good. I might have to go down to the consignment store for my son. I have a few collared shirts for him but I think they are mostly white, and I think his pants are all denim camo or bright bright primaries.

[JudyJudyJudy]

I honestly don't know anyone who gives a shit what a baby wears to a funeral, so don't let previous comments on that bother you.

[juliekathleen2]

I think you don't have to wear all black but darker colors are usually the way to go. It also depends on what type of funeral service as to what the dress code is. I just went to a Catholic military funeral this weekend and because it was military, people were dressed up more than any other funerals I've been to.

[juliekathleen2]

Oh & wanted to say that we had my son is a blue polo shirt, jeans & tennis shoes. There were lots of babies there that were wearing pink, green, yellow. I think if they're young enough they can get away with a lot more than if they are older kids or young adults.

[QuiltyConscience]

All black isn't necessary. Somber colors, dress clothing (dress pants and blouse would be fine). NO jeans, no tshirts, no cleavage baring clothing, no short skirts, etc.

As for the kids, if they are old enough to be present, then they are old enough to be dressed appropriately. It's called respect.

She has a baby and a toddler. When I said that I wouldn't worry so much about the children's clothing I took into considerations her kid's ages.

[KatieLou]

I honestly don't know anyone who gives a shit what a baby wears to a funeral, so don't let previous comments on that bother you.


For real. I doubt the latest gossip willbe "OMG did you see what so and so's baby was wearing at the funeral!?"

[JustMoi]

She has a baby and a toddler. When I said that I wouldn't worry so much about the children's clothing I took into considerations her kid's ages.


Ahh, well, a baby and toddler are different. I wouldn't be taking them to a funeral in the first place due to possible disruption and the fact that the toddler at least is likely to be bored.

I was thinking that the earliest I'd take a kid to a funeral is about 6 or 7, and if they are going to go, they will be dressed appropriately.

[QuiltyConscience]

Ahh, well, a baby and toddler are different. I wouldn't be taking them to a funeral in the first place due to possible disruption and the fact that the toddler at least is likely to be bored.

I was thinking that the earliest I'd take a kid to a funeral is about 6 or 7, and if they are going to go, they will be dressed appropriately.

Okay. In your situation do whatever you want to do.
Seeing as Kitty is flying to the funeral, Child care arrangements may not be easily made. I think it far more important for her to be with her family and attend the funeral of her grandfather than worry about what the baby will wear.

[Babyblue]

Ds went with me to my godmothers mothers funeral, he just turned 4 months. He wore his regular sleepers because he would have been cold otherwise. Childcare would have been out of the question. Ds was still nursing every 1.5-2 hours and the funeral was way out of state.

My godmother was ecstatic to see him and I know it brightened her day a little bit. Toddlers and babies pretty much wear their regular cloths. Older kids can wear "nice" cloths. Also I nursed him all over the place and everybody just smiled.

[jessiehannan]

I let kids wear regular clothes if that is all that I have for them. Me, I wear the nicest thing I have, as long as it isn't too much of a "socializing" outfit.
At my step dad's funeral, oddly enough, without knowing what my mom was going to have my step dad dressed in and what she wanted the pallbearers to wear, I picked the exact same outfit for my DS. They all wore blue button down shirts and blue jeans.