Your favorite corny jokes

[QuiltyConscience]

My Dad told us these when we were kids, while we were driving down the road.And they make me laugh every time.

When passing by a cemetery:
DAD: How many Dead folk you reckon are in there?
US: I don't know dad, How many?
DAD: All of 'em


When At a Railroad Crossing:
Dad: You know, a train just went through here, I can tell.
US: How do you know Dad?
DAD: It left it's tracks

When it got too quiet in the car or mom had fallen asleep:
Dad:*quietly.* You know how you sell a chicken to guy that's hard of hearing?
US: * quietly, but giggling*Well, no Dad, How?
DAD: *Yells* HEY BUDDY! WANNA BUY A CHICKEN!!!??


He still tells those to the grandkids. And they are still funny.

[still_me]

Dad: Do you know why they put a fence around a cemetery?
Us: Why dad?
Dad: Because people are dying to get in.
har har har

Our dad was/is known for setting us up. He'd tell us a wild story, and then just let us believe it for a bit. He always told us that stupid hook story about a guy and a girl out in a car "watching the stars" and then them hearing a scratch on the roof of the car. blah blah blah. I thought that story was real for years.

This was just the other day when he was over:


Dad: "Hey, did you hear about Giant Eagle and their hamburger meat?"
ME: "No, did it get recalled or something?"
Dad:"Recalled? Heck, they found out they were cutting the cow meat with horse meat."
Sister: "Oh, yeah..I heard about that. I didn't tell you?"
Me: "No. I mean, I'd be fine with it if I knew it was horse meat, but that sucks because we just had some. I have it in the freezer now."
Sister: "Ewww. You ate horse."
Me: "Um, you just had burgers too!"
Dad: LOL "I'm just kidding you. Now we know you are a freak who would eat a horse though!!"

He also would drive down this really creepy dirt road by our house and act like the car was having problems. Well, one day the lights went out *wink wink* and the car slowed down. Then he hit his door and we all screamed so hard. He said he swears he lost some of his hearing then with the four of us girls screaming at the top of our lungs.

[QuiltyConscience]

LOL, Still me, our dads would have a good time together.



You horse-eating freak, you.

[pawprint]

My grandparents live in ny and we used to drive their with them at least once a month. When we saw the giant oil tanks out in the field my grandpop would start in.

Him: What are those Mandy?
Me: Tanks!
Him: You're welcome!
Me: No tanks!
Him: i didnt' offer!
Me: No I mean tanks!
Him: Oh. You're welcome.

And on and on.

[still_me]

Quilty, I think you are right about our dads. Something tells me the whole family would get along.


Paw, that is cute. We do that to the boys with certain words.

[BeanBabies]

How do you know who Ronald McDonald is on a nude beach?

He's the one with the sesame seed buns.

[tata]

"lol9"

I love corny jokes.

Me: What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?
Kids: What?
Me: "I lost my tractor. Where's my tractor?"
Kids: *groan*

[BeanBabies]

What did the snail say when he went for a ride on the turtle's back?

Wheeeeeee!!!!




What do you get when you cross a centipede with a chicken?

Legs for everyone!

[leosmommy]

What did one burp say to the other burp?

Let's be stinkers and sneak out the back :)

[hedixo01]

What's brown and sticky?



A stick! har har (I bet you were thinking poop, right?)

[tata]

:happy: Love 'em! Reminds of what I say when I hear someone fart: "Did you hear that asshole talkin' shit behind your back!?"

[GreenEyedMomster]

I came on here to look for Quilty and danged if I didn't find her, still making me laugh after over a year away from this site...

So, I have a joke for you...

Who are the sexiest animals in the barnyard?

Brown chicken, brown cow... (sang to the boom chicka wow wow tune)