Does self weaning ever happen?

[vanfluff]

My little girl is 22 months and has been down to a morning & evening feed for the past 6 months. She still gets the occasional daytime or night feed if she needs it for teething, general anxiety or if she's ill. One of the main reasons I have carried on has been to help her through this time of such change to be able to continue to comfort her. Friends who haven't carried on are still being kept up but just don't have the option to pacify - I really didn't know I would continue this long and am really really glad I have, but I feel as she approaches two I would like to start thinking about weaning .

I would love her to wean herself and think I could continue longer if I thought there was a chance she would give it up herself but I just cannot see that happening. It feels inevitable that I will have nights and nights of "mummy booby please" being screamed out and if that's hte case I will do it sooner rather than later as it's not going to get any easier.

To hear other's experiences on self and led weaning would be a real help I think, I don't know anyone else who has fed past a year.

Thanks

[GirlsMama]

Yes. My daughter is almost weaned and has done it all herself, I would have happily nursed her more often and for longer nursing sessions and for another year even, but she has pretty much self weaned. She doesn't ask to nurse at all, and if she does nurse it's only because I asked her if she wanted to, if I didn't ask I don't think she would nurse at all. She is 2 years and 4 months, and she likes to suck her fingers, which is I suspect, the reason she has never liked to nurse for comfort or for long periods of time, she has been nursing less than one minute per side for several months.

[crystal555rose]

I am with you vanfluff. We are also at 22 months and I do not think my son will ever wean! I would also benefit from more posts like GirlsMama's!

I have been seeing some signs...rolling over and going to sleep without asking for milk (but then waking up 2 hours later asking for it) and sleeping 10 hours without waking for milk. Maybe it will happen someday.

[vanfluff]

Wow girlsmama that is great to hear but feels like a distant hope, it does happen then? Thing is Heidi would literally feed for an hour each side and then want more. I have started interrupting her after 30 minutes at bedtime if she hasn't stopped and have had some success but the prospect of "gradual" weaning doesnt' seem like a reality. some nights she wants it more than others and would just go on and on. I reckon if I could get up and constantly distract her with food I could cut out the morning feed but frankly it's easier to have her in bed with me and let it happen. Crystal555rose I hear you ! Every time I feel there's a sign, like her only feeding for 10 minutes one night ,she is right back on form the following night with demand for "the other one" 4 times before going down. I am not sure I have enough boobs to accomodate her sometimes! The only progress I seem to have made is that she doesn't always fall asleep on it now and often comes off awake and still settles! I think I may start being braver and cutting down 5 minutes each night, must be worth a try. Irony is I will definitely miss it when it does happen.
Hey hopefully we'll hear more stories of self weaning to keep us going .....it's feeling kinda desperate at times!

[StillSingingMom]

Yes. My older baby self weaned around three and a half.

My two and a half year old is cutting down on what she asks for. Until recently, I was feeling like a cow. She would rather nurse than eat. However, recently, she is eating more and nursing less. She's down to twice or three times a day; compared to how she USED to nurse, this is practically weaned.

Now she will pop off when I tell her to say good night to the milk and settle herself down to sleep.

vanfluff, it may be easier to wean when your nursling is a little older. Maybe you could offer a substantial snack before bedtime, get some rocking or story time in a nice dark, quiet room, and nurse for a little while with a full, tired, peaceful toddler?

I know my toddler will nurse forever until the lights go off. Then it usually takes her about five minutes to go to sleep.

[crystal555rose]

Good tips StillSingingMom! Mine is really good about nursing for 10-15 minutes then unlatching and falling asleep. I have gotten better at offering a snack before bed. I had nights where he just refused to go to sleep and I realized he was hungry.

I do not know how comfortable I am with the thought of nursing for another year and 6 months. But as I mentioned, I am not willing to break his little baby heart.

[MrsKitty]

It does, but I would say rarely at 22 months without an outside push.

[kohlby]

The average age for child led weaning is 2.5-7 years, with 3 or 4 being the most common in societies like ours. I didn't do CLW with my first, but I did child respected and gentle nudging. He was a month shy of 5. My daughter is 3.5 and still nursing. However, unlike her older brother, she's cut herself down every step of the way.

I night weaned my first by 22 months - and he woke up every single night asking to nurse for the next 14 months! At that point, his waking and asking was waking newborn DD so I gave it. He nightweaned quite easily at 4.5 years old. That case is unusual I think, but some stubborn kids won't give up asking even after a year! I learned my lesson!

[vanfluff]

Thanks to all for the advice so far, i actually think she's more ready than I am ready to accept and knowing that clw isn't likely to happen until two and half is fine, I feel like I am on track - CR is sounds like our two are very similar and we are in a similar place on things too, I suspect the feeling of breaking their hearts is something we'll feel more that them!!
I think now that my Heidi is probably at an age where we can do this together , and like the idea of "child respected with gentle nudging". She needed a nudge to sleep through and give up all-night feeding at 12 months and I really felt good for having helped her to move on a level and self soothe, I reckon the same goes here.
I am feeling clearer that it's another part of the toddler impulse thing whereby if I let her continue she will go on and on and I need to guide her a little towards the stage where I stop.
Hey I had a real breakthrough last night and took a little control back by saying, after 15 minutes "ok one more then bed", she agreed ("one more mummy"), I moved her over for a final nurse and then said "ok bedtime now, here's baby annabel" - to my amazement she kissed me good night, said bye bye and went to sleep!!! I was at the babymonitor for 20 minutes checking it was working, LOL!! I think also that it's not so much the bedtime nursing I can't handle for a bit longer it's the feeling that I have no control over it whatsover and it's going to continue forever!! I reckon I'll stick with this gentle approach and see how we go.
CR keep me posted on how things are progressing!