Question for dads (or moms, if they know)

[bda]

I am a dad whose wife has nursed all 7 of our children. Our older 3 kids were nursed for a year or less--and then my wife figured out the techniques needed to go on longer.

When each of the last 4 kids have been about 19-20 months old (including the youngest one, who is now 23 months old), I suddenly get really, really tired of all the hassle it takes to nurse a toddler, like: having to take the baby along on anniversary trips, having the child wake me up 2-3 times a night because he's sleeping next to me when he's telling Mom to feed him, etc.

To me, 18 months is way more than enough--but because my wife has become pretty hardcore now as a nursing mom after all these years, she is determined to nurse each child until the child is willing to basically wean themselves--which, in one case, was past age 3 1/2.

Are there any dads who ever read this site who can offer me some advice on how to deal happily a while longer until this process is over --for what is probably the last child? If not, are there any moms who have successfully dealt with this with their husbands? I could use some advice on developing patience with this--yeah, I know, 7 kids, waited a little long to ask, huh? : - )

Thanks!

BDA

[Jacksmommy]

Well, I can tell you what my husband tells me about our still nursing occasionally 4 1/2 year old. He loves that he is so healthy and strong. He hears from co-workers about how much more frequently their children get sick, and he's very glad that's not the case in our family and believes nursing is a big part of that.

[whitnessforhim]

I'm not sure there are many men on the boards to answer you but I have to agree with Jacksmommy. My husband wasn't always on the nursing bandwagon but once he saw the benefits as compared to formula feeding he became very supportive. There are times that I feel bad that this has taken a lot of my time and energy. However, DH knows that when I do anything in life I do it to my fullest potential and if we both chose to have more children he will have to understand that I will nurse those future children as long as I can. If he can't accept that then it would probably effect my desire to have more children down the road.

I realize that you have probably been on this road of nursing for a very, very long time with seven children but I really believe that what your wife is doing is the greatest gift a mother could give. Hang in there!

[StillSingingMom]

Yay you. You must be pretty supportive, having done this seven times. I can see why you might be tired of having a nursling wake you in the night.

I asked my husband for advice, but he said, "Well, mostly our kids don't wake me up anymore. So it doesn't bother me."

We are also on our last nursling, and both of us are looking forward to trips without kids and full nights of sleep. I am treasuring my last nursing experience, however, and my husband is really glad to have healthy kids who are rarely sick. After all, cleaning up vomit in the middle of the night is far more work than ignoring the sounds a nursing toddler makes.

Honestly, the man is rarely woken by the nursling. We have a toddler bed shoved between our bed and the wall, so there is plenty of room. And we all get as much exercise as we can pack into the day, so that we will all sleep soundly.

Our attitude are also informed by our experience of infertility. So we look at our two cosleepers as treasures still, mostly. ;) Years of not having any kids made us intensely grateful for our two adopted kids as well as our two bonus kids.

Look forward to the good times, is my advice. It's coming pretty soon.