CaptHeather
10-19-2007, 01:17 PM
Pages: 1
Murphy's Law
Member
Reged: 03/17/05
Posts: 3822
Loc: Red Sox Nation 3 years later
#42479 - 12/22/05 02:42 AM Edit Reply Quote Quick Reply
3 years ago tonight, I held my baby boy in my arms as he very slowly faded from this earth. Today I keep looking at the clock and can almost account for every second of what we did, where we were, and how we spent that sad sad day 3 years ago. Marshall died on the 22'nd but it was 2:33am and I consider the 21'st the last day he was with us. And even then, I think he was already gone from us for most of that day too. This day, 3 years ago, was definitely the most difficult, empty, lonely, fearful, and painful day of my life. There never was such heartache in my life until I watched my lifeless child clinging to shallow breaths which occured minutes between one another. He sure didn't teach us how to die (as this was just lengthy and painstaking. I KNOW he could have made it easier on all of us!) Most certainly though, he taught us how to live in such a short little time!
This year the holidays are a little happier than they've been. I'm a mom for the first time on Christmas! How will it feel to watch my daughter open gifts and then immediately be reminded that her brother should be there opening them next to her? Perhaps he will be there, I don't know. We will be happy and we will try to enjoy the day and I know we WILL enjoy the day; not for us, but for Murphy who deserves all of the magic that Christmas will bring her. My God, how I love that little girl! It pains me to know I could love her brother that much too, in a physical sense, if he were still here. Instead I have to do it long distance, through memories and pictures. Yet I am so thankful I get to do it at all. My blessings. My children.
We miss you, Christmas Angel.
Murphy's Law
Member
Reged: 03/17/05
Posts: 3822
Loc: Red Sox Nation 3 years later
#42479 - 12/22/05 02:42 AM Edit Reply Quote Quick Reply
3 years ago tonight, I held my baby boy in my arms as he very slowly faded from this earth. Today I keep looking at the clock and can almost account for every second of what we did, where we were, and how we spent that sad sad day 3 years ago. Marshall died on the 22'nd but it was 2:33am and I consider the 21'st the last day he was with us. And even then, I think he was already gone from us for most of that day too. This day, 3 years ago, was definitely the most difficult, empty, lonely, fearful, and painful day of my life. There never was such heartache in my life until I watched my lifeless child clinging to shallow breaths which occured minutes between one another. He sure didn't teach us how to die (as this was just lengthy and painstaking. I KNOW he could have made it easier on all of us!) Most certainly though, he taught us how to live in such a short little time!
This year the holidays are a little happier than they've been. I'm a mom for the first time on Christmas! How will it feel to watch my daughter open gifts and then immediately be reminded that her brother should be there opening them next to her? Perhaps he will be there, I don't know. We will be happy and we will try to enjoy the day and I know we WILL enjoy the day; not for us, but for Murphy who deserves all of the magic that Christmas will bring her. My God, how I love that little girl! It pains me to know I could love her brother that much too, in a physical sense, if he were still here. Instead I have to do it long distance, through memories and pictures. Yet I am so thankful I get to do it at all. My blessings. My children.
We miss you, Christmas Angel.