Chrystal's Journal

[StElmosFire]

I am starting mine too. Ummm, I am still on the antibiotics, feel not good still. My healthy eating as gone down the tubes lately but I am starting over.
Today I have had:
Oatmeal
Bowl of Fruity Pebbles
Muffin
Coffee
Water
Unreal, look at all that food and it's only 11:00! What a pig! I may skip lunch:(

Make it a great day ladies!

[Stella]

Don't worry about it, Chrystal. You can start over even in the middle of the day. :) Hang in there!

[steph76]

Hey, I finally took the advice you give about water! I bought the Wyler's no sugar pink lemonade to put in my water. It is grand!

[StElmosFire]

Hey, I finally took the advice you give about water! I bought the Wyler's no sugar pink lemonade to put in my water. It is grand!

Excellent isn't it. It really helps a lot!:D

[The_Babycakes]

Hey honey, how'd ya do the rest of the day? Doesn't that suck when you consume more than half your calories before noon! I did the same today. And neither you or I are 'pigs', not even close! Well, I hope you did well and have a great day tommorow. 'Till then, take care love. :)

[StElmosFire]

Thank you Ladies.
OK....Coming clean here....
I fell back into my old ways. Big time. I am not happy about it at all. Today I started new. I went to the gym and did what I could.
So far I have eaten:
Oatmeal
Coffee
1pc Sugar Free Dove Dark Chocolate
2 bottles of water
Lunch is Soup
Dinner IDK yet. I really have to go to the store. Maybe I will stop and get stuff for grilled chiken salads or something. That sounds really good to me.
Halloween is fast approaching and I am eating a lot of candy. BAD, BAD! That is one thing I must change this week.
Work is so busy still so I will check back later.
Make it a great day ladies!

[steph76]

Chrystal, we are all in work in progress. You recognize you have taken one step back, so now time to take 2 steps forward!
Do you have the candy in your house or is it at work? If at your house, throw it away or send it to someone else's office. Do not buy for the tot until the 31st.
How are feeling? Are you still on the antibiotic? It is really hard to stick to healthy habits when you feel like shit.

[StElmosFire]

The candy is at home and at work. Not on my desk either. It's everywhere else. I can't walk by a desk without seeing candy ::insert smily banging head with hammer::
The stuff at home is not that bad. I bought some treats for myself so I would have something to endulge in if you will.
BUT....
I blew it again today you guys! I had 4 pieces of pizza. Not 1 nor 2. Oh no....4 Fu**ing Pieces! I want to THROW UP! Seriously. I may just do that.
I hate myself so bad lately. What the hell is my problem? Why can't I stop? I seriously must love being fat because at the rate I am going I will be for the rest. of. my. life. I have spent so far this year almost $3,000 to lose this damn weight and I still weigh the 'effin same! W.T.F!

[steph76]

No, you did not blow it. you had 4 pieces of pizza. That does not mean you have to have 4 for supper also.
Please don't purge. please.
Refresh my memory, are you doing ww or spark or on your own?
I will toot the ww horn if you don't mind. i know for a fact that I could not do this with out meetings and you guys. You are my daily support and ww is my irl support.
Remember you are worth it ((HUG))

[hollydawn]

(((Hug)))

Please don't be so hard on yourself. Easier said than done, I know.

I know exactly how you feel because I have done the same things you wrote in your post. It is an awful feeling. Don't give up. We can do this!!

[StElmosFire]

Today ladies I officially hit rock bottom. I lost it totally. I had what I believe was a break down or a binder snapping if you will. I could not control nor contain my words or actions. I was having an out of body experience.
Now I am trying to pick myself back up again and start new. Thank you for the kind words.
I love you guys :o

[The_Babycakes]

You know what, you have been here and you have been working hard *everyday*. Even on the days you messed up a little, you still made good choices, too. Don't give up, you are only human. I have to say that I love that you have such a positive attitude and pick yourself up when you fall.

You are not alone here and there is *nothing* wrong with you. You are beautiful, sexy, and smart. You are a great mother, wife, and friend. Please don't forget that. Have a good day hun!

[Stella]

Today is a new day. Here's hoping it's a good one for you. :) We're all here for you!

[StElmosFire]

Ladies I have completely lost it. I don't know what has happened to me. I have nothing good to post for I am back to my old ways. I can feel the pounds coming back.
I hate myself so much!!!!! :mad:
I see my therapist today so I hope she has something to say that can help me.

[steph76]

you are important and lovable. I hope you have good session (((hug))

[The_Babycakes]

Thinking about you Chrystal. I wish I could give you a real hug, but a cyber one will have to do for now. http://bestsmileys.com/hugging/5.gif

I know all to well about hating oneself and it hurts me that you're feeling that way. You are such a beautiful person inside and out. It doesn't matter if you're 100 pounds or 300 pounds...you are gorgeous and worthy.

I hate that we define ourselves and measure our self worth by a stupid number on a scale. Everyone has struggles, many of which aren't as apparent as ours...food. But, you have been working so hard, don't give up..k?

[Baobab]

Chrystal, I'm sorry you are having a rough day and I hope your therapist was able to help you feel better. Remember, you are not defined by your weight. I have to remind myself of that all the time.

[greatestgood]

Chrystal, you are so beautiful. Big hugs. After you fall hard, that just makes it so much better when you come out of it.

[StElmosFire]

My session was awesome. I love my therapist truly. She is amazing. My DH was in also and now understands what I am going through. He was blown away with what I have been struggling with. He (like I thought) had no clue.
I am here! I am starting over! :STANDING UP AND SHOUTING: I AM WORTH IT!
You guys are so supportive. I love you so much!
Thank you for being there for me during this time. ((hugs))

[greatestgood]

That is wonderful! I'm glad you're back, baby.

[steph76]

That is so great, Chrystal!
It sounds like you have a great dh and now that he understands your life will be much easier.

[steph76]

Hey sweetie! Hope you had a great weekend!

[StElmosFire]

Hey gals! They weekend was ok. We had a wedding on Saturday. Food was fine but I consumed way too much wine therefore resulting in not a great Sunday. :o I danced my arse off though. I had to have burned 1000 calories or more. I think I danced for 2 1/2 hours straight.
I went to the gym today. It took a lot in me to get out of bed. Man 5 o'clock is early. Especially now thats it's still dark until about 7:15 or so. Makes it harder to get movin'. What else? I don't think anything really. We went to the pumpkin patch thingy yesterday. I am going to try to post pictures later tonight.
DH and I have our DS's first school confrences tonight. I wonder what it will be like? We had preschool ones but that was so informal. This is the "real deal". I am kind of nervous.
My birthday is tomorrow. I am a little bummed about it. I am going to be 28. 28! That's so close to 30! No offence to my 30's year old hotties here but for me 30 is huge! We don't have any plans. Probably just hang out at home. I have to work all day so that really doesn't make for a special day.
I received a beautiful postcard in the mail last week. Miss Stephanie, that was so thoughtful! It really made me happy. My DH was like, you got a postcard in the mail. I think I ran downstairs so fast to see who it was from, I probably looked like a kid getting a letter in the mail, hee-hee. You made my day that's for sure!
Well, pumping is over. I must return to my work. I will be back later to check how everyone is doing.
Lots of love ::hugs:: ;)

[The_Babycakes]

Wow, sounds like you had lots of fun this weekend! And doing good with food and excersize is a great bonus, too. :)

I wish you lived closer, I would love to take you out for your birthday! I hope it's special even though you have to work.

[steph76]

Hope you have a great birthday!!

[StElmosFire]

:crying:

Yep....I managed to gain the 6lbs I worked so hard to lose. The more I post this on this board. The sadder and sadder I get.

I have nothing more to say. You all are working so hard on this board. I am so proud of each of you. I have not held up my end to even be worthy of your "company". Not only have I failed myself but I have failed you all.

I am sorry :(

[steph76]

If you feel the need to take a break that is OK.
What is not Ok is to not feel worthy. WTF? You are sooo totally worthy.
I really enjoy your posts and think that you are someone I would love to hang with IRL.
There is nothing to be sorry about, nothing.
You have hit a bump in the road. That is all.
We all have bumps to hit, when we hit ours, we will need you to help us along.
Seriously, I want you to go to a mirror, look in it and tell yourself you are a beautiful wonderful person.
Because you are!

[greatestgood]

Chrystal, you cannot give up. What in the world are you talking about, being worthy of our company? You're one of the reasons I enjoy this board so much! You are worthy for no other reason than being who you are. YOU get to choose how you react to this obstacle. You can use it to get fired up and re-energized. Picture yourself a year from now, at or near your goal weight, saying, "Man, I can't BELIEVE I actually gained SIX pounds that one week. Boy, did that piss me off...but look at me now."

You can do this, sweetie. "thheart"

[The_Babycakes]

I couldn't agree more with Steph and GG, you are an amazing woman Chrystal and we are lucky to have you here. None of us are perfect, hell I am so far from it. I know how hard it is to *not* beat yourself up and hate yourself, but you have to try. As I said before, it doesn't matter the number on the scale...that does NOT dictate your worth as a person. You are beautiful person inside and out. You are loved, you give love, you are a good mother, friend, and wife. 6 pounds mean s nothing when it comes to that. Keep posting, even if it's not good news...that's what this board is for. We are here for you, and we need you here. I know you can do this, I just know you can...please don't give up.
http://bestsmileys.com/hugging/4.gif

[Stella]

:hug: This is just a parking lot on the road to success. When you're ready, get right back on the road. :)

[StElmosFire]

:crying:
You guys are the best friends, support anyone could ever have. Gosh I wish we could get together and give hugs all around.
Thank you....thank you...thank you!
I am not doing well with my food at all. Maybe I am taking a break, maybe I need to reevaluate how I am looking at it. It needs to be a lifestyle change not what I have made it out to be. If I have a cookie, fine big deal. Right now I do not look at it that way, I look at it like it's a something bad. Like it's something that if I have that cookie, I have failed.
I hate feeling like a failure but I can't help it. Yesterday for lunch I went to Quizno's and had a regular sandwich, soup, and chips then I wanted to go and get an iced coffee at McDonalds. I didn't but only because I didn't have enough cash. WTH! I wasn't even that hungry. I just did it, just because. I hate "JUST BECAUSE". Just because what?! That needs to be removed from my vocabulary.
Here's reasons that "just because" means:
Just Because....
it's there
it's good
your fat anyway
you will always be fat
it's genetic
your husband doesn't want you to
no one can see you anyway
there's always tomorrow
you have the money
it's winter
it's halloween
it's the holidays
your nursing and you need the extra calories
eating healthy is expensive
you don't have time to make something

And so many more. This is what I deal with everyday. Someone on the Woman's Devotional Group gave me the website to OA. I haven't had time to look at it yet but I am going to today. Maybe I can get some good tips on it.
I am not on here nearly as much as I would like with being so busy at work and at home I haven't been able to "connect" like I used to. That has affected me also.
Thank you guys again for being here and for caring so much."thheart"

[Stella]

You know what, Chrystal? It doesn't have to be 'all or nothing'. Celebrate your little successes. Our lives don't have to be measured by what # shows on our scale. You're worth so much more than that.

Take care of yourself. :)

[Unicorn]

Hey Chrystal!

Simply identifying all the "reasons" above is a huge step in learning how to deal with the "just because" cravings. If you can figure out which "just because" you are dealing with, then you can find another way around it!

This season seems to be difficult for many people, myself included. There is a lot of temptation with the holidays looming, and I know that I feel like "what difference does it make, the holidays are going to be a train wreck anyway" on many levels. But, I try to look at it like every small change, even something as simple as eating 2 peanut butter cups instead of 4, is going to pay off because it represents one small step in the right direction.

With the spurges, are you feeling that if you have one, it is the start down the slippery slope?

I think that support is key, and we need to get it from as many different places as possible! Even if you are not here that much, you can still "take us with you" in your mind!

I am pulling for you!

[StElmosFire]

With the spurges, are you feeling that if you have one, it is the start down the slippery slope?

Yes this exactly! I guess I figure I already screwed it up I may as well keep going.
I tell ya, I have really hurt myself not only mentally but physically. My skin is different, my hair is different. My clothes are tight again. I just want to sit and cry.:(

[StElmosFire]

All I have eaten is cookies and water today.

Yum, Yum! :puke:

[Unicorn]

Hey there Chrystal!

Sounds like you are really in a rough place right now. How are you doing today? Please please do not beat yourself up over the past week. The effects of the past month are cumulative, and as you said yourself, you can see many many differences in how you feel when you eat right, and when you do not. And, that is a good thing. You have accomplished so much, and the number on the scale is only one tiny aspect of all that you have accomplished. I know that often it feels like the biggest one.

OK, so a day of cookies and water. Tasted great, probably did not feel so good. As PP (sorry! I forgot who) said, you can restart even in the middle of the day. Even if only one meal per day is "healthy" that will put you one step in the right direction.

You are not alone in this struggle, by any means. Please check in and let us know how you are doing.

[greatestgood]

:hug: Chrystal, I know you may not see it right now, but you have made SO much progress over the last few months. We all see it. You are so, so close to having what you want. Don't give up, girl, just keep plugging along. Please. I LOVE to say "I told you so." Don't deprive me of that pleasure. :gig:

[StElmosFire]

Hey gals. I am really trying to put my best foot forward today. I cannot let food control me and my life. It's food! It's there to refuel our bodies. There are so many more things to make me happy. I have eaten so far oatmeal and coffee. I am still working on my first bottle of water which I am going to down here in a second and open my next one.
Thank you for hanging in there with me. Worse comes to worse, I can lose the 6 I gained plus another 10 by Christmas....right?!
:o

[The_Babycakes]

Hell ya you can, try to keep up with a positive attitude and not get discouraged. I know you can do this. Have you been able to make a mental list of some of your weaknesses and ways to get around them? When do you tend to over eat or eat the wrong things? Take inventory of what's causing these things, and maybe you can try to change some of them or bypass them, you know? Hope you have a wonderful day! *muah*

[StElmosFire]

I can't believe I am about to post this....AGAIN!
I ate 1 cookie 150 cal and I keep eating these stupid tootsie rolls! Who brought these here!? "thcatfight"
So far today:
Oatmeal
Coffee w/creamer
Cookie
Lean Cuisine Panini Sandwich
Tootsie Roll after tootsie roll
1 1/2 bottles of water
1/2 diet coke
Thank you Babycakes. You are truly an inspiration. Truly.

[greatestgood]

Chrystal, that's NOT horrible. Try to let go and enjoy the rest of your day. How was that panini sandwich? I love to make those with homemade bread and good deli meat from my local butcher. Yummmmmm.

[Unicorn]

Hell ya you can, try to keep up with a positive attitude and not get discouraged. I know you can do this. Have you been able to make a mental list of some of your weaknesses and ways to get around them? When do you tend to over eat or eat the wrong things? Take inventory of what's causing these things, and maybe you can try to change some of them or bypass them, you know? Hope you have a wonderful day! *muah*


EXACTLY!!!!

Also, do not feel guilty for just throwing out food that tempts you! If you don't really need it, but know that it will drive you crazy, feel absolutely free to pitch it in the garbage. That helped me a lot coming to that realization. For example, I love those pecan ball cookies that are out right now for the holidays. I ate some, DH ate some, they hung around for 2 days with us eating them, and then I threw them out. So, the cookie extraveganza did not go on indefinitely.

You are doing fantastic Chrystal! Every day is a new day....

[StElmosFire]

Everyday is a new day you guys. I agree.
Trying to explain what is going on....
It's like this force that makes me do it ya know what I mean? When I eat those foods it's me but it's not me. It's the unhealthy, negative me that is overpowering the strong, healthy, positive me (my last therapy appt shed light on this). I am trying to be rid of and defeat this negative me but as of this point "she" is winning. I hate "her". I didn't go to the gym again today. That's 3 days in a row of missing class. My mom is supposed to be my accountability partner. She hasn't been a good one lately. I scolded her for that. I told her she has full control of my workout schedule. She said, "game on baby, game on". I think I may regret that."thcatfight"
Thank you for hanging in there with me, you guys help me so much, you have no idea"thheart"

[Unicorn]

Thought you would like this:

Pathway to Achievement

The best way to figure out how to do something is to do it. Make the
commitment to make it happen, and you'll start working your way through the details.

Don't get bogged down speculating on how something will come about. Instead, get started on the best approach you have, and follow the path wherever it may lead.

When traveling along a road, you can never see the entire road at once, but that doesn't really matter. What does matter is successfully making your way through the portion of the road that is right in front of you.

Work through the things that are to be done right now, and you'll put
yourself in position to handle the things that come along later.

Travel down this section of the road, and you'll then be able to travel the next section, and the next.

If you put all your energy into worrying about every little detail of how to reach your goal, you won't ever get started.

Instead, put your energy into reminding yourself why you have chosen to go there, and then do whatever it takes along the way.


You'll never know precisely how something is to be done until you actually do it. So go ahead, get started, and discover your own unique pathway to achievement.

-- Ralph Marston

[The_Babycakes]

I am so glad that you have such a great support system. Between the therapy, your mother, and your ongoing determination you are going to succeed, I know it! I am so proud that you are facing this head on. I know it's hard sometimes, and yes, I also know about the force that takes over our minds and bodies and takes everything out of you to fight it off, but we are strong and we will do this. We are going to proof to ourselves and our family and friends just how strong we are. Keep at it, it will be get better..just don't give up. :)

[steph76]

Just wanted to say HI!
Hope you are doing well.
Remember you can post anything here, we are here for you

[StElmosFire]

Here's what I have been up to. This is an email I sent my coach on November 8, 2007:
"...To start off with today is the first day of the rest of my life. Life today is different. I am not who I was yesterday (people have made that comment to me already). I am a person that can run on the treadmill (WOO HOO!).
With that being said, I recently officially hit rock bottom. When I thought I was at my lowest I got lower to the point of almost nonfunctioning. I'd given up on myself and everyone else. I was a thread close to purging or worse just to make myself feel better, to end the pain which in all actuality it would make me feel much worse. Replacing one eating disorder with another one? Not a good idea, I know that now but yesterday I didn't.
I seen my therapist yesterday with my husband. I was pushing him away and I didn't even know it. He was giving up on me. He thought I was a weak person or becoming one. That was it for me. I am not weak. I do not want to be weak. My children do not deserve a weak mother...."
I am a new person ladies. I am doing well, I do not really even think about food. I am definately back to square one but you know what? That's ok. I am going at this totally different.
I ran on the treadmill today for 7 minutes. Ok the old me wouldn't have made it 1 minute. I cannot believe it. I am just so excited about that. I celebrate my little accomplishments which makes life way easier. Someday I will be thin but today I am ok with me.
Thank you for thinking of me "thheart"

[Stella]

Chrystal, that's awesome! :hug: Good for you, love.

[Flutterby]

Hang in there girl! Sounds like you have made a positive change in attitude! That takes a lot of strength to change :) Yea for you!

Amy

[Unicorn]

One day at a time, one workout at a time, one meal at a time!

You are closer to your goal today than you were yesterday!

Say that every day, because it is true.

[StElmosFire]

Well here I am. I hate that I am so busy and I am not able to post as much as I want. I am doing ok. I am eating healthier but not going without. I am trying not to make it a pain in the butt. Lifestyle change. I have not eaten anything people can't see me eat. I have not eaten my extra meals or anything like that. I am doing quite well there. I think I am getting a cold or something because I am just exhausted and I can feel something trying to come but my body is totally fighting it.
I got a card in the mail yesterday from one of you gals (Jessica). I don't think I have ever "met" anyone like you guys here. You are such an amazing group of women. You really know how to make someone feel special. "blush"

[Unicorn]

Gradual changes are the ones that will stick. Keep up the good work!

[StElmosFire]

I haven't been really doing anything lately. I haven't been overeating but I haven't been "dieting". I haven't been paying attention really. Just livin' I guess. I haven't been working out which at this point I really don't care. I am just so tired, it's hard to get up at 5am and go workout ya know. I miss everyone on here so much. I hate being so busy at work and my internet doesn't work at home right now. UGH!
I miss you all :hug:

[Unicorn]

Good to hear from you! Life happens, and we all know how that goes!

:o

[The_Babycakes]

Yup, don't worry 'bout us. Hope your internet get's fixed soon.

[StElmosFire]

Well, today I am starting over. Thanksgiving is over so now I am going to get back to journaling. Today I have had:
2 bottles of water
1 large cup of coffee with cream
2 packages of oatmeal
Lunch is soup
Dinner is chicken and rice and broccoli on the side
I did workout this morning which felt really good. I am getting a cold unfortunately so that sucks.
Work is much slower now so I hope to be here a lot more.

[Unicorn]

Hey there!

Glad to see you up and going again! Hope the cold goes away soon!

[GaPeachmommy]

Good job getting back on track! Keep it up!

[StElmosFire]

Today not so good but here it is
2pk oatmeal
lean cuisine sandwich
Supreme Burrito from taco bell
French Fries
and probably a salad for dinner.

[steph76]

hey there!

Other than the fries, it doesn't sound like too bad of a day to me!
Have a good nite

[StElmosFire]

Starting over.
At this point I am just going to go on like I have been but journal everything. Everything that I eat.
Here goes:
2 pk oatmeal (maple and brown sugar)
Coffee with Almond Toffee Creamer
2 Cookies (deep fried with sugar) They look like lace.
A little bit of water
At this point I am going to finish the water that I have.
I am going to start working out at home. Walking/Running and my coaches put together a workout for me with my kids helping me with the strength training. Not only will I benefit but they will have fun too!
It feels good to be here again.
My goal is to lose 30lbs by May 2008.

[StElmosFire]

1 Kiss (chocolate hot chocolate or some darn flavor)
2 Candy Crunch bells

[StElmosFire]

Ok I am going to try to remember what I ate yesterday.
2 mini,mini candybars
Progresso Soup
Chicken Breast (Fried I think but not greasy). Yes the skin too.
1/8 C Mashed Potato's
1/8 C Au Gratin Potato's
3 Dinner Rolls (UGH my weakness)
A large amount of salad
1 sugar cookie with sprinkles
Glass of White Vinfindel Wine
Diet Pepsi
6 squares of a hershy chocolate bar

We had my work Christmas Party. I did my best in choosing the right stuff. It looked all so good!
I am sure I exceeded my calories but I am pleased with my overall day.

[StElmosFire]

Today so far I have had 2 biscotti cookies
Coffee with toffee creamer
I am thinking I may skip my usual oatmeal because of the cookies. Same calories.
Lunch I have Progresso Soup again. I am on a budget this week :-)

[steph76]

I just had the Progresso soup for lunch too. It really is pretty good.
Have you tried the sugar free liquid creamers for your coffee, right now I am doing the vanilla caramel. It is zero point!

Thanks again for thinking of me, it means a lot!

[StElmosFire]

I have not done that. I will try it. I know I waste about 130 calories on just creamer.
I love the Progresso soups.

Of course I think of you girl. You have made me feel so special so many times, the least I could do is return the favor to a fabulous friend :D

[StElmosFire]

Well I didn't do so well today.
Let's just say I feel extra FLUFFY today. That's the word I like to use for my obesity since I think obese is a vulgar word. Some folks don't like that.
I haven't done so well on my food like I planned. I ate way too many cookies that someone brought in and instead of my soup I ate a 1/2 order of spaghetti with 1 meatball from the local Italian resturant. Oh 2 pieces of bread too.

[StElmosFire]

I didn't write yesterday. I don't know why.
Yesterday I ate (hopefully I get it all)
Breakfast- 2 pk oatmeal and coffee with a little creamer
Lunch- spaghetti with 1 meatball 5 pc bread (weakness)
Snack- cupcake & ice cream christmas tree (no one was home but me; pig out time)
Dinner- Small sirloin steak, salad with calatina dressing, potatos with bell peppers. Small piece of tiramisu for dessert. We ate at my sisters house so I was able to watch portions and be full (I do not overeat in from of people).
Last night before bed I had a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and a glass of chocolate milk. No I wasn't hungry, I just wanted it.
No excersise. I think I am on a excersise strike or something. I just don't want to do it. I am seeing all my muscle defination go away rapidly and I don't care. Bad attitude I know, I have got to turn it around.

Today thus far:
Breakfast- Banana Chocolate Chip Muffin and coffee with creamer
Snack- Handful of raisins
Lunch- Wendys Bacon Cheeseburger, fries, and diet coke

I started out ok but lunch sucks. I don't know what is for dinner yet. I would like to just have soup but we'll see what DH wants to do.

Tonight when the kids go to bed I think I will try to get in a workout.

[steph76]

Is lunch an issue everyday? Maybe it would help if you menu plan lunch like some people do for supper.
That way you won't have to worry about it everyday.
Another tip I read in WW, is to do grapes instead of raisens. They are more dense and filling, so you get more satisfaction from the handful of grapes.

[StElmosFire]

Ahh thanks for the tip!

Yes, lunch, dinner, everything that has to do with food is an issue. lol I bring my lunch, then someone says "hey I am going here" and that's what happens. I am weak.
Tonight I am going to sit down and make a menu before we go to the grocery store. I have a few WW cookbooks along with the Biggest Loser cookbook. I am going to buy some things to make those and see where it takes me.

[The_Babycakes]

Making a menu is an excellent idea and can be kinda fun and take the stress out of figuring out what to eat. Next time you find yourself at Wendys get the burger with the lettuce and tomatoe instead of bacon, so you get some veggies. And a small french fry is 440 calories, if you need something 'special', get a jr frosty for only 150 calories (but make sure it's a jr and not a small, there's a big difference).

And I totally know what you mean about an excersize rut. I get that way, too. It's such a drag, but once you get back to doing it (whatever 'it' is that get's you excited) you'll feel so much better. And if you're really hating excersizing, perhaps you should find something else that's more fun to do. Excercize shouldn't be 'work', or else of course you're not gonna want to do it.

One more thing, remember...if it's not in the house, you won't eat it! Seriously, you know your weaknesses and I assume you do all the food shopping. Don't buy it babe. And if you do buy something special for yourself or the fam, ask your dh to put it up somewhere and in essence hide it from you. I know that's stupid, but that's what I do. I can't even buy ice cream, because I know that time after time I will eat the entire container by myself in a matter of days. Until I am stronger to resist, I won't buy food I will binge on.

Hang in there love. :hug:

[StElmosFire]

STOP BRINGING IN THE DARN COOKIES PEOPLE!

Ok got that out of my system. Well, I am officially fat again. I am pretty sure I am back where I started. I am afraid to weigh myself. I meet my personal trainer tomorrow night. He hasn't seen me in a few weeks. This should be interesting....

[steph76]

The season is almost over. Soon no more treats.
Good luck with the trainer

[The_Babycakes]

It's never too late to start over honey. Good Luck tonite with the trainer, hopefully that will give you a better perspective and a good kick in the butt! You can do this!

[StElmosFire]

So I want to do this. I want to start over. It's just so much darn work! I keep thinking I could've been at my goal by now but I chose to feed my face all the terrible foods and I can never be different. I can never be thin.
I will never be thin so what's the point?

[The_Babycakes]

The point is feeling good about yourself, being healthy and active (none of which equal 'thin'), and eating right to be a good role model for you kids.

I fell off the wagon for quite a few days and I know that it's hard to get back into the frame of mind you need to do this. If you are not ready then don't start, when you are ready to get back to it...everything will fall into place. Just remember how good you felt about yourself when you worked hard and how proud you were of all your accomplishments.

And hey, the holiday season is almost over. Set some new goals for yourself, you could totally lose xx amount of weight by summer time to fit into a nice bathing suit...whatever motivates you. A brand new year is right around the corner.

[steph76]

What BC said!
You know what it is OK to never be thin. Most people won't be. The point is to feel better about yourself and be healthy.
I am officially setting a goal of checking in here more often and journaling more. That is when I did better, wanna join me?

[StElmosFire]

What BC said!
You know what it is OK to never be thin. Most people won't be. The point is to feel better about yourself and be healthy.
I am officially setting a goal of checking in here more often and journaling more. That is when I did better, wanna join me?

Yes I do Steph.
2008 is going to be a really big year for me. I would like to share some of my goals with you. I would like if you all would help me meet these goals with your thoughts, prayers, and guidance.
I am going to keep a food journal I actually am going to carry with me. I will put down whatever it is I eat whether it's one bite or sip.
I am going to lose 25 lbs by April 23rd and another 25lbs by August.
Be at my goal weight by December 31, 2008 11:59pm.
I will get my Personal Training Cert in July.
I will be able to do this yoga move that I have been struggling with for a whole year and it's driving me insane (with the help of my coach/trainer of course- luv ya A!)
Start school this fall to become an RN.
Be a better role model for my DD's.
Be a better wife and mother.
Be a better friend.
Accept myself no matter what size I am. I am a beautiful woman. I am loved.
Become stronger in my faith.
Thank you Steph for bumping my thread. I have been avoiding this board for some time now because I didn't want to face the reality.

[StElmosFire]

My food for the last 2 days is as follows:
January 2nd:
2 pk oatmeal- 360 Calories
Cup of Coffee with Cream- 140 Calories (Aprox)
48 pretzel sticks- 100 Calories
1 Med banana- 120 Calories ??
1 Tangerine- 120 Calories ??
1/2 Chicken Breast and 3/4 C of Cheesy Potatos- 400 Calories?
3 Pork Carnita's, Rice, and Beans- Calories ??
Chips and Salsa- Calories ???
2 Sugar Cookies
1 Snicker Doodle
3 mini Reeses Pieces
1/2 C 1% milk
2 Diet Cokes
4 Bottles of water
1/2 C Coffee

January 3rd
8 pcs licorice- 300 Calories
1 bottle of water

[steph76]

Way to have goals! They sound very reasonable to me.
i think the taking the journal with you is a good idea. It will probably really open your eyes.
I think it was Myself that said on someone's thread to even write down if you lick the cake batter spoon, that spoke volumes to me.
Let's have a great year!

[StElmosFire]

Lunch
48 Pretzels
1 Med Banana
1 Tangerine
I am about to get a Diet Coke

[StElmosFire]

The rest of January 3rd
McDonalds :(
2 shredded pork BBQ sandwiches with co jack cheese on white buns
1/2 C Garlic alfredo Pasta Sides
A few sour cream and onion chips
Umm let's see....
4 bars of some sort I think they are called nut goody bars or something
1/2 c milk
More licorice
I don't remember what else.
I couldn't stop!

[carterandcalliesmom]

The rest of January 3rd
McDonalds :(
2 shredded pork BBQ sandwiches with co jack cheese on white buns
1/2 C Garlic alfredo Pasta Sides
A few sour cream and onion chips
Umm let's see....
4 bars of some sort I think they are called nut goody bars or something
1/2 c milk
More licorice
I don't remember what else.
I couldn't stop!

I had a bunch of Twizzlers yesterday - I should maybe chew gum again or something :)
Today is a new day!

[StElmosFire]

I could not believe the calorie content in Twizzlers! 150 calories in 4 pieces?! What a waste.

Today I again started out with the darn Twizzlers but I only had 4 pc.
I have had 1 1/2 cups of coffee with cream
Bottle of Water
2 pk oatmeal
Lunch is Progresso Light Veggie & Rice
I have pretzels for a snack if needed
Dinner is probably spaghetti with meat sauce, bread, and salad.

[carterandcalliesmom]

I could not believe the calorie content in Twizzlers! 150 calories in 4 pieces?! What a waste.
Today I again started out with the darn Twizzlers but I only had 4 pc.
I have had 1 1/2 cups of coffee with cream
Bottle of Water
2 pk oatmeal
Lunch is Progresso Light Veggie & Rice
I have pretzels for a snack if needed
Dinner is probably spaghetti with meat sauce, bread, and salad.

I know what you mean and I don't count, I just keep eating them! Good news is that the 4lb bucket we have is almost gone - then I won't be eating them anymore! (DH bought them, not me, and we won't be getting them again unless it is a single pack!) :)
I had the same for breakfast and having the same for lunch - I have leftover spaghetti as well that might be dinner - how funny! I have nothing to snack on other than one clementine though :(

[StElmosFire]

Ok today I have eaten what I posted above plus pretzels, 1 Hershy's kiss, and that's it. I want to eat my soup but I am too darn lazy to wash out my bowl from oatmeal to heat it up. Dumb I know because I am really getting hungry.

[carterandcalliesmom]

Ok today I have eaten what I posted above plus pretzels, 1 Hershy's kiss, and that's it. I want to eat my soup but I am too darn lazy to wash out my bowl from oatmeal to heat it up. Dumb I know because I am really getting hungry.

Well, isn't it getting late for lunch? :)
I didn't bring enough to eat today so I ended up eating a can of 3 bean salad which isn't too terrible, but it equates to 300 calories and I have already had 152 grams of carbs today!!I really need to eat some darn meat.
Go heat your soup up!! (if you are anything like me, if you don't you will eat something else that is worse :) )

[StElmosFire]

Well, isn't it getting late for lunch? :)
I didn't bring enough to eat today so I ended up eating a can of 3 bean salad which isn't too terrible, but it equates to 300 calories and I have already had 152 grams of carbs today!!I really need to eat some darn meat.
Go heat your soup up!! (if you are anything like me, if you don't you will eat something else that is worse :) )

Yes is't 2:53pm. Your right. Off I go.

[StElmosFire]

Well since it was so late, I only ate 1/2 can of soup, 60 Calories.

[carterandcalliesmom]

Well since it was so late, I only ate 1/2 can of soup, 60 Calories.

Did you eat the homestyle veg/rice one? I didn't really care for it - do they have other kinds in light?

[StElmosFire]

Did you eat the homestyle veg/rice one? I didn't really care for it - do they have other kinds in light?

Yes I did. Really?! Yes they have quite a few Italian Tomato, Southwestern, Chicken Noodle, Veggie and Rice, some barley one I haven't tried yet.
They are 60 calories per serving.

I LOVE THEM!

[The_Babycakes]

Hey girl, glad to see you're back at it. I also keep a little notebook with me that I write down everything in. It really helps to keep me accountable, having to write it down. I find that when I mess up and don't write it down, I'll keep messing up worse because in a strange way...there's no proof. Just stay positive and stay focused. If you screw up, just forget about it. Take whatever lesson from it that you can and move on. Have a great weekend!

[StElmosFire]

Well I weighed myself on Saturday. I have been avoiding the scale for some time now.
Well.... I am at 233. Right back to where I started. Last time I weighed at the gym I weighed 219. I am so, so, so very sad. BUT.... I am starting over. I have joined bootcamp again and I am also joining Weight Watchers.
I vowed 2008 is my year and darn it, I MEAN IT!

[StElmosFire]

Well, Weight Watchers here I come. My mom is calling today to find out when the meetings are. Bootcamp starts on Monday. Oh boy, here we go!

[The_Babycakes]

Get to work lady, you can do this..you've already proven that!

[StElmosFire]

Ahhh....
Worked out this morning. The first sday of bootcamp. 12 weeks to go!
I feel really good about the workout. I gave it everything I had, then some. Lots of whiners in this class. Don't know how much I can take of that before I blow my top. WTH do they think "Bootcamp" means? They showed up with make up on and everything. Umm, yeah. He may be cute but he doesn't care what you look like trust me. He will kick your butt the same ugly or not.
Already drank 3 bottles of water and cup of coffee with fat free creamer.
Had 3 packages of oatmeal. I am feeling pretty good. I think I may have a splash more coffee.
Lunch is with DH. Not sure where we are going. I will do my best at picking the healthy stuff off the menu.

[Flutterby]

Great job with your workout! Maybe the whiners will give up and leave and then it will be more pleasant :) I assume you are doing it at a gym? I may have to break down and join one in the fall when I will finally have 3 kids in school and the last in preschool lol!

[carterandcalliesmom]

Way to go!! I can't wait til I get a schedule for working out. Great job with the water too - I need to do so much better with that. I am kinda picky and only drink bottled and of course I am out- aarrgghh!

[StElmosFire]

I posted my before pics on a separate thread. I can't believe I did it but I did.
For lunch I had:
6" subway roasted chicken on honey oat. A small amount of mayo. Lots of veggies.
Bag of baked chips
diet coke

I never had that splash of coffee I thought I would. I am nursing a bottle of water. I think I am getting water logged. I've gone to the bathroom about 5 times already today and it's only 1pm!

[StElmosFire]

I ended with a snack wrap from McDonalds & an iced coffee- I am a little disappointed in that
When I got home, I ate 2 corn dogs and some french fries.
I had a bowl of cereal with 1% milk
More water
Diet Coke

[StElmosFire]

Worked out again this morning. We worked on legs today. I am so sore from yesterday but I didn't let it stop me from giving it my all today. I am going to be sore tomorrow. No whining here though. Nope, nope. I am excited about this journey. We weigh in tomorrow. I am feeling pretty confident even though I didn't eat so well yesterday.
2pk oatmeal
2 bottles of water
1 mug coffee with fat free creamer
I am going to have another water with some liption green tea in it.

[carterandcalliesmom]

I don't think you did too badly - I know you could do a LOT worse at McDonalds :)
I picked up my water before work today and drank 49 ounces already! Bathroom here I come!
Great job on the workouts!! I can't wait to have my living room, bedroom, etc back so I can do my workout tape when everyone is bed at night or in the morning!

[StElmosFire]

Just finished lunch:
1 entire can of Progresso soup. The vegetable barley one. I don't know how I feel about that flavor. Hmmm....
I did eat a fruit cup of peaches with no added sugar.
I am drinking a diet coke.
I have a 100 cal bag of kettlecorn I will probably have around 3 or so.

[The_Babycakes]

I just tried that one yesterday, my dd loved it..lol.

Looking good woman (alot better than me today). Have a great day!

[StElmosFire]

Last night did not go well at all. I was driving all over everywhere to send a package so we swung into the local McDonalds (yes I love that place).
Here's how it ended....
I had
1 oatmeal cream pie 300 calories
Bag of Famous Amous Cookies 180 Calories
100Cal Popcorn
Double Cheeseburger
Large Fry
Diet Coke to balance it out, lol!

Well glad that's over. I wanted to eat so badly last night but I didn't. I took advantage of DH instead. That calmed my hunger. :mhihi:

Anyway today I have had:
2 ok 100Cal cereal mix thingys
1 cup coffee with ff creamer
1 bottle of water
It's 11am. I am so hungry. I think I will walk over to the gas station and get a water and maybe a salad or something. I can either go there or Arby's or McDonald's across the street. Yep, my weakness is right across the darn street! BLASTED FOOD CHAINS!

I missed the gym today. I am so pissed. I overslept. Tonight I will be doing my own workout and tomorrow is cardio day. YAY!

[StElmosFire]

Ok resetting.........

Today is a new day, lol!
Sucked again yesterday. I am not going to even post it because at this point it doesn't even matter. It's done and over with.

[carterandcalliesmom]

Ok resetting.........

Today is a new day, lol!
Sucked again yesterday. I am not going to even post it because at this point it doesn't even matter. It's done and over with.


That is all we can do, right? Move forward! I think you are doing so great - so what if you mess up sometimes - we all do and then we start again! At least you have been working out! that is more than I can say for myself - but on a brighter note my house is getting closer to being done so that I can actually have a place to workout!

[steph76]

Did you know that fast food is actually addictive? That is why it is so freaking hard to give up.
i totally believe it also. When I quit work, I wanted Sonic so bad, cuz, I was used to having it almost every day. Now, I can totally do without fast food.
See if you can go two weeks with no mickey D's and see if that helps break the cycle.

What brand is the 100 cal kettle corn? I love that stuff!

[StElmosFire]

Did you know that fast food is actually addictive? That is why it is so freaking hard to give up.
i totally believe it also. When I quit work, I wanted Sonic so bad, cuz, I was used to having it almost every day. Now, I can totally do without fast food.
See if you can go two weeks with no mickey D's and see if that helps break the cycle.

What brand is the 100 cal kettle corn? I love that stuff!

Really?! No wonder! Damn Ronald McDonald!

Anyway, it's popsecret. Flutterby sent me some when we did our exchange. Now I am hooked!

[Flutterby]

Oops! Its a great snack isn't it--if only I could limit myself to one bag lol!

[steph76]

Chrystal, watch Supersize Me sometime.
It is eyeopening about fast food.
Now, don't get me wrong, I still eat it, but it is much more rare now.

[StElmosFire]

Chrystal, watch Supersize Me sometime.
It is eyeopening about fast food.
Now, don't get me wrong, I still eat it, but it is much more rare now.

seen it!

didn't turn me off one bit....:o

nak

[StElmosFire]

With all this Map crap I haven't been posting.

Here we go again. I am joining weight watchers on saturday. I am pretty excited about that. Today I have eaten:
1 liter of water
2 pk oatmeal
1 mug of coffee with creamer

I worked out this morning also.
Now I must get back to work. Gotta call people for money. Oh boy, oh boy.

[StElmosFire]

Weighed in today. Gained 1.5. I knew I would. I have been eating like crap!

[StElmosFire]

Ok so I am psyched since reading and posting with Michelle and Amy.
Today so far I have had
2 pk oatmeal and coffee with creamer
1 liter of water
I don't know what I will have for lunch. I may just grab a salad from across the way.
I need to go grocery shopping this weekend and stock up again.
I already worked out for 60 minutes at the gym. I am going to try to get in another workout tonight.

[Elizabethdaisy]

good for you girl. I am psyched too thanks to you and amy. we can do this! you ever need to talk pm me girl. I am here for you we can lose the weight.

[StElmosFire]

good for you girl. I am psyched too thanks to you and amy. we can do this! you ever need to talk pm me girl. I am here for you we can lose the weight.


YES WE CAN! (in my best Bob the Builder cheer)

[Elizabethdaisy]

YES WE CAN! (in my best Bob the Builder cheer)


lol too cute.

[Flutterby]

Have you tried the steel cut Irish oatmeal? Its healthier than the packets (by far), but a lot more expensive, than say regular oatmeal. That's what I eat when I eat oatmeal--with a little spenda and some frozen berries. Yummy!

[StElmosFire]

No I haven't. I will try it, thanks Flutterby.

Well, I've been suckin' ladies! I think I gained some more weight. I am at a loss as to even waht to say anymore.

[Elizabethdaisy]

awww honey if you need to talk pm me anytime I know how it is.

[Flutterby]

Weight fluctuates!!! Mine flucuates by a few pounds day to day. I DO weigh myself everyday just to try and get an idea of how much it can fluctuate. I had a dr. appt. a few days ago, and my weight was UP by about 5 pounds. At least it was in the afternoon and I had all my clothes and shoes on lol! (That's my excuse anyway!). The key is DON'T GIVE UP!!! If you have a bad day eatingwise, just forgive yourself and get over it. You can make better choices the next meal! I'm here for ya!

[Elizabethdaisy]

what Amy said.

[carterandcalliesmom]

It has been a few days - how are you doing? Thinking of you! :D

[Elizabethdaisy]

yeah thinking of you girl. how are you?

[StElmosFire]

Here I am. ::waving::
Wanna know what I have been up to? Grab a water and pull up a chair. Here goes....
I am a Christian so a lot of this is regarding my faith and what I believe in.
I have taken some of this from the Mothers Devotional Group postings here and from emails I have sent.
From the Devotional Group.
Let me just tell you ladies.... I am sick.
I got a migraine yesterday (Sunday) and I was vomiting all night last night. I think my body is going through some major withdrawls of the sugars and caffine.
I have been praying to God and pleading at times for Him to help me. He is helping me, he has made me see how much suffering that I am eduring is nothing compared to what Jesus endured for us. NOTHING!
Thank you Mamacita for doing this with me. I have decided I will have my fruits and veggies and I will have 1 cup of coffee in the morning just to help with the headaches.
Yesterday at one point I was eating anything to help with my headache only to throw it up. After that I just went to bed and prayed myself to sleep.
Thank you for all your prayers and encouragement. Hopefully I can kick this headache soon and be able to focus on God and what he is telling me.

From am email I sent to my Coach-
I feel I have been called by God (for a while actually) to do this. There are things He wanted to tell me, show me, deliver me from. I was so scared to start it because I was afraid that I was not strong enough to say no. I felt like I was going to let God down within 5 minutes of starting. I put this off for so long because of this.
I feel really good, I have a lot of energy and I definately do not get as hungry as I would. As I mentioned this morning, I made 48 cupcakes last night for Nathan's birthday today (yep he's 6, I just cannot believe it). Anyway, normally I would have consumed at least 3 cupcakes and I would have licked the bowl and probably eaten the remaining frosting too. I licked the spoon only to get grossed out then I licked my finger out of habit I think after I was done frosting the cupcakes. Yea, almost puked it was so sweet. I washed my hands and walked away from the cakes. When I woke up this morning there were still 48 beautiful, undisturbed cupcakes there for my son's 6th birthday. His class will enjoy 31 and my evening guests will enjoy the rest.
Well after my inital "brush with death" on Sunday (ok not really but at the time I thought I was going home), I think I am free. I am free of my addiction! My body is cleaning out, flushing and getting rid of all the negative stuff that I have fed it for years, and years. My family is encouraging me. My husband is behind me the whole way. My friends are so supportive. God...... God is carrying me this whole way.
I noticed this morning on my way to work that the psorisis on my face that I suffer from terribly in the winter is gone. My face is smooth and soft. I think between the diet change and the gold bond lotion I have started using is really helping. I could not believe it was gone. I have suffered from that since I was about 14. Unreal.
I am so happy S***. I am happy that not only did I not eat the cupcakes, I didn't even want to. I had no urge or desire to eat one. None.
I could go on and on about my entire day and the urges I no longer get. I am just amazed at only being on day 3, what a difference I have already felt. I have had no cravings. None. I can say no and feel really good about it. I.....I just can't find words.

So far today I have eaten:
A bowl full of watermelon
An Apple
Coffee with creamer
1 Liter of Water
I am working on a salad with avocado and light ranch dressing (normally it would be a balsamic vinagarette but I don't have any).
I have an orange I will eat and a pear.
I also have carrots I may eat if I get hungry.
Tonight for dinner will probably be a baked potato with broccoli and a dab of sour cream. It's my DS birthday today so I am having people over for homemade lasagna and salad. I will not partake in the lasagna but I will partake in the salad and probably pop a potato in the microwave.
I am not doing this for the weight loss. I am doing it because I feel I have been called to. I also feel like my body really needs a cleanse.
Check my updates out on the Mom's Devotional Group and I will try to post here too. This fast/cleanse is for 7 days. I started on Sunday, I will end Saturday night.

[Flutterby]

Good luck! I know you can do this :) If God's called you to do it, He will surely give you the strength to make it to the end :) I hope you really feel better after you get your system cleaned out!
!

[Elizabethdaisy]

what amy said.

[StElmosFire]

I lost 5lbs.
I am not surprised by the way I am eating. I give it to God. He is the reason.
Continue on!

[Elizabethdaisy]

awesome girl. good for you. keep it up!

[Flutterby]

Yea! That must be so encouraging!

[StElmosFire]

Yesterday by the night was a little tough for me. I craved a little but I overcame it. I think because AF came, my subconscious decided I needed chocolate or something, IDK.
Yesterday I ate:
Strawberries
Grapes
Coffee w/cream
Vegan frozen veggie thing from Trader Joe's
Light sour cream on that
Salad w/dressing for dinner
2 baked potato's with sour cream for late snack
2 liters of water
2 green teas.

[StElmosFire]

Today I have had so far:
1 watermelon (small size; perfect for 1 person)
1 banana
Coffee w/cream
1 Water

I didn't workout today, AF is waaaaaay to bad to be jumping all around. Icky. Now I know what I was missing.
Still feel great though. Got my hair done, last night. Feeling pretty sassy today!

[carterandcalliesmom]

Today I have had so far:
1 watermelon (small size; perfect for 1 person)
1 banana
Coffee w/cream
1 Water

I didn't workout today, AF is waaaaaay to bad to be jumping all around. Icky. Now I know what I was missing.
Still feel great though. Got my hair done, last night. Feeling pretty sassy today!

yeah! That is always a pick me- upper! Are you going to post a pic?
Way to go btw - you are doing fabulous!

[StElmosFire]

yeah! That is always a pick me- upper! Are you going to post a pic?
Way to go btw - you are doing fabulous!

I probably will post one tonight. I don't have a camera here at work.

[carterandcalliesmom]

I probably will post one tonight. I don't have a camera here at work.

Looking forward to it! :)

[Elizabethdaisy]

me too I need to see your new hair. cant wait.

[StElmosFire]

Well, still fasting. Doing awesome. I weighed myself on my scale at home yesterday, another couple pounds down. I don't officially weigh in until Wednesday. I am just so happy about this life change I have made. God is good, He is so good! My milk supply has not been affected by this diet change what so ever which was one of my main concerns but I gave it to God like He says to do and he took care of it.
I feel fantastic! My body loves me and I love it back.
Yesterday I did have about a 15 minute urge but I gave it to God and focused on Him and His word. The urge passed. Last night for dinner I had 1 1/2 boca burgers (on whole grain buns) and a potato/veggie mix thing. I gave Abby a cupcake after dinner and licked my finger (again out of habit), and I could totally taste the sugar in just that one little bit. I could not believe it! I actually was a little grossed out. The Lord has changed my taste buds, I truly believe that.
Anway, ladies, how are you doing???

[Elizabethdaisy]

I love reading your posts. you are doing so good. yeah the other day I gave the kids a brownie and I licked my hand not even thinking. I love this life change too and I am doing very well. sometimes I have these urges but I jsut keep myself busy and it passes.

[Flutterby]

Yea for you :) I was able to make it past the craving for a quesadilla! I just went to bed instead. I find at night if I keep my hands busy, I'm less likey to snack. Right now I am just hand piecing some quilting blocks together (just something to do while I watch t.v. I've started at the beginning of a quilting book I have and I'm doing it piece by piece. Someday I'll sew all the blocks together into a quilt. so far I've only made 3 though lol!

[StElmosFire]

All is well. I ended my fast with a bang. I have been doing not so great these last two days though. Oh well, I am starting fresh today and starting another fast tomorrow. This one is for 40 days. I am excited to take on the challenge.
My whole outlook on weight loss has changed. I am excited to share all my new views and things I learned with you all!
Lots of love!!!!

[carterandcalliesmom]

You are doing great Chrystal- I would love to hear more about this fast and what you have learned if you wouldn't mind PMing me? :)

[Flutterby]

What does your next phase entail?? Are you doing ww or something else? I need to get back on the wagon today lol!

[StElmosFire]

What does your next phase entail?? Are you doing ww or something else? I need to get back on the wagon today lol!

I am doing another "fast" I guess you can call it. Fruits, veggies and protein only. No processed carbs (pasta, white bread, etc).
I am excited to do this one, even though 40 days is a long time. The cause is worth it!

[StElmosFire]

Eaten today:
1/2 Sugar cookie with frosting (I know, I know)
1 watermelon
I am going to have brown rice and black beans for lunch
Coffee with creamer

[StElmosFire]

Lost another 3.5!
WOO-HOO!
Started another fast today. This one is not as drastic but I am still giving up a lot for a great cause.
Today I have eaten thus far:
1 Banana
1 pk Oatmeal
2 bottles of water
Working on my coffee

[Flutterby]

yea for you! You are doing so great :)

[Flutterby]

Hey, where'd you go??? How have you been doing? Just checkin' in on ya :) Hope all is well!

[Elizabethdaisy]

yeah where are you girl?

[StElmosFire]

I'm here. I was doing rather bad last week so I didn't want to post because well because I was doing badly. Anyway, I am here, I am doing well and I have started over yet again.
Today I have had
Water (2 bottles so far, 1 I am working on)
Small glass orange juice
A Oatmeal Bar
Celery and peanut butter
1/2 small cantalope
cottage cheese (1/2c probably)
1/4 bag of lite popcorn
Diet Coke

[carterandcalliesmom]

Welcome back - I did badly too and am also starting over - we can do this! :)

[Flutterby]

I'll join the club of 'been doing badly' lol, but I'm recommitting. I ordered The Firm set so I'm excited to get that and do a new workout. In the meantime I'll be sticking with my WATP videos. Ideally, I'd like to get outside and start running, but that isn't feasible where we live. You CAN do this!!

[StElmosFire]

I have actually adopted a healthy eating lifestyle. So far so good.
Also ate today
1 blood orange

Dinner will be Halibut filets with rice and a veggie.

[carterandcalliesmom]

I have actually adopted a healthy eating lifestyle. So far so good.
Also ate today
1 blood orange

Dinner will be Halibut filets with rice and a veggie.

What is a blood orange? Never heard of Halibut either - (fish I am assuming?) boy am I sheltered - LOL

[StElmosFire]

A blood orange is an orange with a red color (blood color I guess).
Halibut is a fish but its more like chicken. We actually tell the kids it's chicken and they eat it with ketchup. No fishy taste what so ever. It's fabulous!

[StElmosFire]

All's well that ends well.
I finished last night good.
I did have 2 pieces of dark chocolate but I had to after my fish dinner.

I didn't workout this morning. I was too tired.
Today so far I had an oatmeal bar and 2 cups of coffee. I am feeling a bit jittery :gig:

[StElmosFire]

Why do I do what I do? I do so well, then I do terribly only to do well again and so on. I am thoroughly convinced I am destined to be overweight therefore I continue doing what I am doing only to be unhappy and miserable. My goal was to lose 25lbs by April 23rd. I lost 8lbs only to gain it back immediately. April 23rd is coming soon!

GET YOUR CRAP TOGETHER WOMAN!!!!!

[carterandcalliesmom]

Why do I do what I do? I do so well, then I do terribly only to do well again and so on. I am thoroughly convinced I am destined to be overweight therefore I continue doing what I am doing only to be unhappy and miserable. My goal was to lose 25lbs by April 23rd. I lost 8lbs only to gain it back immediately. April 23rd is coming soon!

GET YOUR CRAP TOGETHER WOMAN!!!!!

I hear ya woman! I am in the same boat - I am starting over AGAIN today. Don't beat yourself up, just move on - easier said than done I know - will be thinking of you :)

[Elizabethdaisy]

thinking of u hun. u can do it.

[Flutterby]

I'm sorry you've been having a hard time. Making changes is HARD! Maybe each morning take a moment to recommit and review the goal you are working towards. You CAN do it :)

[StElmosFire]

Thanks flutterby, your right, I CAN DO IT!

Unfortunately I have blown today already. I will have a light dinner and make a menu for the rest of the week and stick to it.
I have to do that.
Pray for me ok!

[Flutterby]

Will do :) Right now I'm trying to remind myself how much better and healthier I feel when I eat right. These days dd sleeps most nights, ALL night, so that helps too. Its been 2 1/2 years in the making lol! Are you working out at all? I find that boosts my mental attitude and I'm less likely to eat badly (don't want to ruin it lol).

[StElmosFire]

http://www.fitday.com/WebFit/PublicJournals.html?Owner=clevasseur

Here's my fit day journal. You can check it out at any time. I will log all my activities and foods on here.
I am going to focus on mostly fruits and veggies this week. Kind of kick start myself again.
Got to lose 25lbs by April 23rd!!!!!!

[StElmosFire]

I am staying on track so far!
Woot for me. Check my food journal out if you want!

[carterandcalliesmom]

Yeah!! One day at a time girl! I had me some peanut M&M's last night, but otherwise I am not doing so badly :)

[Flutterby]

How's it going? Its pretty lonely over here lately :) Off to check out your journal on fitday :)

[Flutterby]

I should get back over there and track again. I was really having fun when I started.

[carterandcalliesmom]

I should get back over there and track again. I was really having fun when I started.

I agree, it is getting lonely over here - I don't track so well on here or at calorie-count.com just because I take up work time to do it and then I don't get to it at night - I am kind of doing it half-a**ed :) Oops, sorry to hijack your thread Chrystal! Still hanging in there?

[StElmosFire]

Ok here I am again. Start over # 1,000.

I am really fat again. I mean, I gained everything back + a few. I am afraid to weigh myself however, I am starting over again..... right now.

I purchased Turbo Jam. It was on an infomercial. I guess we'll see how that goes.

[carterandcalliesmom]

Ok here I am again. Start over # 1,000.

I am really fat again. I mean, I gained everything back + a few. I am afraid to weigh myself however, I am starting over again..... right now.

I purchased Turbo Jam. It was on an infomercial. I guess we'll see how that goes.


Good luck, I will be right here with ya! Let me know how that turbo jam is!

[Flutterby]

I'm starting over as well. Welcome back :) Its been too quiet around here for quite some time!

[carterandcalliesmom]

How's it going? Thinking of you!!

[StElmosFire]

Ah well, I am working out now! Doing Turbo Jam. Loving every minute of it!
Eating sucks arse but I am getting there!
Thank you for thinking of me :)