CaptHeather
10-19-2007, 01:24 PM
Rieckah
Mouthpiece of The Market
Reged: 06/08/05
Posts: 6975
I am haunted
#147791 - 07/05/06 11:29 AM Edit Reply Quote Quick Reply
I am haunted by the pregnancy that ended before it had even really begun. I am haunted by the baby that was almost here, but not quite. You see, I had a molar pregnancy that ended at 6 weeks. I am so tired of hearing that I wasn't "really pregnant" or that there wasn't "a *real* baby".
The pregnancy was a suprise, DH was just my fiance then, we were 18 and he was in Basic Training. We got over the initial shock to become absolutely thrilled. We were soooo excited about *our* baby. I started spotting so I wanted to go to the doctor. My mother refused to take me or to give me me insurance card so that I might go myself. As the bleeding got worse she did not comfort me, or tell me that everything would be all right. She said (and this is a direct qoute) "either you will have this baby or not, deal with it". I packed my things and had a friend come get me. I went to her house and then eventually to the ER b/c my water broke and the bleeding had gotten much worse. I knew then that I had lost the baby.
At the ER I was informed that it had been a molar pregnancy and that there never had been a baby. I was absolutely devastated. I knew that there had been a baby, a tiny person living inside of me. Whether or not that baby had developed past the tiniest lump of cells didn't matter to me and the fact that so many ppl jumped at the idea that the pregnancy had "technicaly" never happened leaves a gaping balckness inside of me.
I still have a memorial day every October 1st and think of what could have been. I don't know what hurts me worse, the fact that I lost a baby who was very much loved, or the fact that those closest to me and DH were not there for us when we needed them the most.
Mouthpiece of The Market
Reged: 06/08/05
Posts: 6975
I am haunted
#147791 - 07/05/06 11:29 AM Edit Reply Quote Quick Reply
I am haunted by the pregnancy that ended before it had even really begun. I am haunted by the baby that was almost here, but not quite. You see, I had a molar pregnancy that ended at 6 weeks. I am so tired of hearing that I wasn't "really pregnant" or that there wasn't "a *real* baby".
The pregnancy was a suprise, DH was just my fiance then, we were 18 and he was in Basic Training. We got over the initial shock to become absolutely thrilled. We were soooo excited about *our* baby. I started spotting so I wanted to go to the doctor. My mother refused to take me or to give me me insurance card so that I might go myself. As the bleeding got worse she did not comfort me, or tell me that everything would be all right. She said (and this is a direct qoute) "either you will have this baby or not, deal with it". I packed my things and had a friend come get me. I went to her house and then eventually to the ER b/c my water broke and the bleeding had gotten much worse. I knew then that I had lost the baby.
At the ER I was informed that it had been a molar pregnancy and that there never had been a baby. I was absolutely devastated. I knew that there had been a baby, a tiny person living inside of me. Whether or not that baby had developed past the tiniest lump of cells didn't matter to me and the fact that so many ppl jumped at the idea that the pregnancy had "technicaly" never happened leaves a gaping balckness inside of me.
I still have a memorial day every October 1st and think of what could have been. I don't know what hurts me worse, the fact that I lost a baby who was very much loved, or the fact that those closest to me and DH were not there for us when we needed them the most.