extreme pain?

Hello, new to this site as it's my last desperate effort in convincing myself to keep going.

I'm a first time Mom to a beautiful 3.5 week old baby girl. I'm presently on 8-weeks maternity leave from work. I've been breast feeding since the beginning and "planned" on continuing for the duration of my leave. The problem is, it is SO painful and I fully am dreading each session.

I've met with my hospital lactation consultants and talked to them a couple of times since leaving the hospital, but nothing suggested has worked. Yes, she's latching on with a nice big chuck of aerola. I've tried many positions. I have resorted to having a "pump day" every 3-4 days to give me a break. I've thought about just pumping and feeding her breast milk in my fancy Adiri bottles. Sometimes Daddy feeds her breast milk that way. But pumping isn't always convenient.

When the baby latches on, it hurts so bad I literally grit my teeth and curl my toes. This lasts for the duration of the initial sucking and once the milk lets down, the pain reduces but is not eliminated (it's more uncomfortable at this point). If she doesn't let go on her own and continues nursing for a long time, the pain begins to increase to a throbbing sensation til she falls asleep or I break the suction. Afterwards, my nipples are mangled and mashed.

Valiantly, I rub a little breast milk on them and then some Lansinoh. Still, they often throb or ache for 10-15 minutes after a feeding.

Does it ever stop hurting? I'm so ready to give up.

nipples are mangled and mashed.
I would have an IBCLC examine her oral cavity. It should not be an excruciating event every time!
Also, if the nipples are white after she feeds, it can be nipple vasospasms. Try a dry warm washcloth on your nipples after she comes off.
I would seek a consult with a private practice IBCLC to rule out/diagnose.