Witty comebacks for EN...

Why do I feel like I have to justify it?

ds turned 1 last month and even before then most of my coworkers were already pushing for me to stop pumping. (like it even affects them....) Well now that he's 1, and I'm only pumping once; I'm still being asked when will I stop pumping or nursing.

I usually joke that he will be weaned before heading to college..... but I'm starting to get annoyed (kind of back when I was pregnant a few days before my due date and people were still asking if I had the baby already)

What are some witty comebacks I could use?

I never used witty comebacks. I just told people we would figure it out as we went along. Some people were genuinely interested since they had never heard of someone nursing that long and they were open to learning about it, even if they hadn't done it or decided not to do it. If I had used witty comebacks, then they likely wouldn't have felt that they could ask me questions and learned about it. (Of course, there are some people who had no interest in learning about it but they learned to stop asking at some point because they really didn't want to know the answer!)

I'm still nursing my daughter who is almost 2.5. But very few people know or ask since she only nurses during the night. If someone does ask, I tell them that we're figuring it out as we go along. If they still press me for an age, then I tell them that my son weaned a month shy of 5 years old. So, not witty at all, but it shocks people enough that they are silenced and never ask me again! (Or those who actually want to be educated about it will ask more questions).

Responses to "Are you still nursing?"

"No, I'm not, my mother lives too far away. Jacob is, though."

"Of course! Nothing but the best for your grandson!" (or nephew or whatever)

"Yes, isn't it amazing? I am so glad he's not in a hurry to grow up"

"Yes, it's really been a life-saver, it is the only liquid he'll drink when he's not feeling well"

"Absolutely, isn't love a wonderful thing?"

"Yes!" (then hold up your hand expecting the other person to high-five you)

"Right now? No, he's over there playing. I need him to do it"

"I was never a nurse. I don't like needles! I'm an Accountant, remember?"

"Yes, his doctor is so thrilled. So many moms give up due to pressures of friends and family" (hint hint)

"Yes, and he's a real pro at it. I am so proud of him"

"Everyone asks that, it must be because he's so incredibly healthy" (not really answering, but it gets the point across that you aren't planning on answering)

"I get that question all the time. It is so great that people are looking out for him!" (again, not answering)
"Yes, he deserves the very best. He's such a good baby."

(for someone who continuously asks) "It is funny how people ask that, but then they don't really want to know"

(for someone who continuously asks) "Of course, I am glad you keep asking. It shows you want the best for him"

(and another for someone who is hounding you to no end) "do you really want to know this time? You didn't seem satisfied with my answer last time."

Responses to "When are you planning on weaning?"

"I'm not. He'll wean me."

"Before he graduates"

"He hasn't told me yet."

"I haven't asked him yet. He doesn't really make plans for the future at this point. He just does things day to day"

"I don't know, I guess when my milk dries up" (confuse a person who has no clue about breastfeeding)

"I hope not for a while. We're both enjoying our time together"

"I don't know, when the puppies weaned, they were taken away from their mother. It doesn't seem like such a great thing to me"

(sometimes they ask, "when will you start giving him cow's milk?") "Not sure, maybe if he starts thinking he is a calf"

"What, and get my PMS back? are you crazy?"

"I don't know. He seems to still enjoy it and I enjoy those extra 500 calories I burn"

"It is so hard to plan anything with a baby. We're just doing things day to day."

" We're in no rush, he has time to make up his own mind"

"Thanks for asking. Everyone seems to need an answer for that except for me and my child."

(and another for someone who is hounding you to no end) "It depends, when are you planning on asking me again?"

oh NN! I was cracking up on some of those! I think I will just print out the whole list and take it to MIL!

"I am still breastfeeding. You know, as the saying goes, when you know better you do better."

"I breastfed my oldest for 4 years, she gets sick less than anyone in our family, she makes good grades, I think for her the benefits are obvious."

"Yes, she is still nursing."

Honestly I don't really have a circle of friends I talk to regularly, but if I get a chance to say I'm still nursing I jump on it because I'm proud that she's still nursing, and I felt that way with my other girls too.

I loved those comebacks I am still breastfeeding my 3 year old and plan to continue as long as he needs to.

Thanks! I love those ideas NN, they are great!

I'm trying to keep humor as a disguise for what's starting to tick me off. I have people wondering why I am still pumping and the benefits of EN. There are days I like to educate, but there are some where I just don't want to deal with it and just use humor to keep people off.

Thanks! I will print and keep handy for the future.

Or you could really get them talking:

"oh, I'm not still nursing, I'm selling my liquid gold on the black market."

"oh, I'm not still nursing, I'm donating my milk to feed third world countries."

"oh, I'm not still nursing, I'm feeding all those starving kids in China that my mom always told me about! By the way, don't forget to clean your plate!"

"some people take a smoke breaks, I take a pump breaks. It gets me more breaks that way!"

For the particularly geeky coworkers try something dry like this:
"Didn't you know, the U.S. is falling behind in the development of technology largely due to the fact that most other countries produce more intelligent children because they tend to wean around age 4. In the U.S. it's age 1. So, I'm trying to strenghten the gene pool and produce a more intelligent child. It takes a lot of brain developement to become a rocket scientist". "oh yeah, and remind me, what is your contribution to society?"

"I pump therefore I am".

"to pump or not to pump, that's really not a question you should be asking me!"

Know you are the smart one, they just don't get it and may never get it.

Originally Posted by vickikreiner

"Didn't you know, the U.S. is falling behind in the development of technology largely due to the fact that most other countries produce more intelligent children because they tend to wean around age 4. In the U.S. it's age 1. So, I'm trying to strenghten the gene pool and produce a more intelligent child. It takes a lot of brain developement to become a rocket scientist". "oh yeah, and remind me, what is your contribution to society?"

I LOVE THIS ONE, LOL!

Some of these are great... a few of my friends keep asking me when i'm going to stop nursing. I'm def. going to use these at some point, since it's getting annoying now. My daughter just turned a year today!!!! WOOHOOOOOO!!! But really? Why is it so hard to believe that I'm still nursing her and don't really care about weaning her right now? Some people have got to be jealous or something.