I was not sure I could handle the emotions associated with this birth. Being a fairly new doula, I had not come upon this situation yet. I received a profound blessing and consider it an incredible blessing to have witnessed this life event. There is a Bible story of 2 mothers and 1 baby. They go to the king for a judgment as to who will be able to keep the child. The king orders the baby to be sawn in two and divided equally. The 1 mother cannot fathom this and would prefer the other mother receive the child than to have him sacrificed. That act showed the king who the baby truly belonged to. When reading that story there is always such an agony of heart to imagine a mother in that place. How could a mother give her baby to someone else?

I am pro-choice, yet not in the sense that many people might define the term. I do not believe that abortion is a viable alternative to birth. I believe a woman makes her choice when she engages in the behavior that results in a pregnancy. Once a woman is pregnant, she has no moral choice but to give birth to the child.

This particular mother made that choice. She was faced with an unplanned pregnancy and no way to care for another child. She was already struggling and single parenting and did not have the resources or energies or time to parent another child. She chose adoption. Very early in the pregnancy she began her search for a family to raise her child. She chose an agency and studied over many families before she made her choice. She allowed her body to do its work of growing and sustaining that baby within her. She loved him. She took care of herself thereby taking care of him. She was meticulous in her choice of care provider, and participants for her birth team. She chose me as part of that team, and allowed me to bring another doula that I was to mentor.

As the labor began, it became obvious that while she really did intend to give up her child, her body was not quite as willing. She had an early prodromol labor that lasted a good 2 days. I was with her off & on during this time frame and I watched her suffer through a lot of difficulties both emotionally and physically. Yet she was still choosing to have as natural a birth as possible for the health of her baby. After only progressing to 5cm over those couple days, she chose to allow her provider to augment her labor with pitocin. Even with the increased strength of the medication induced contractions, she still brought that baby into the world without an epidural or any other pain meds. She loved him enough to give him as good of a start as she was able. It started with choosing him a family that loved him and would raise him, and ended with bringing him into the world without the struggle of lingering medications.

I am so in awe of this momma, I had a baby I wasn't able to keep because he was stillborn at term. The only thing that got me through that labor was the grace of God coupled with morphine. She had a baby she wasn't able to keep and what got her though it was the grace of God and birthing him naturally. She was strength, sacrifice and love. It was a gift to witness it.

Denise Easthon CD(DONA), LCCE, ELCS, CHBE,

Waterbirth Credentialed

www.Heart2HeartBirthMatters.com