Quit breastfeeding first baby,will my second be different?

QUESTION: I had planned to breastfeed my son when he was born, but after 10 days and 10% of his body weight being lost) I had to quit. I saw a lactation consultant and she advised me to use cabbage to stimulate the milk glands to produce milk. After three days of pumping and trying to feed him and putting cabbage on my nipples, I was tired, upset and I quit nursing at that point. I also never got engorged. I found out later that neither my mother or both of my grandmothers could breastfeed.

My question is when I have another child, could things be different? If my milk didn't come in the first time should I try again? The was actually one of the worst weeks in my life. My child wasn't eating and losing a lot of weight and I wasn't sleeping. Are there just some people who can't breastfeed?

Dear Renee,

Yes, yes, yes--an emphatic yes--when you have another child, it can be very different! My own first breastfeeding experience was so painful and frustrating that I said I would never do it again--and look at me now! My second breastfeeding experience changed my life so significantly that I left a career I loved (computer programmer) to begin working with breastfeeding mothers. And I have no regrets!!

A large number of mothers that I see tell me that their own mothers and/or grandmothers couldn't breastfeed. In fact, my own mother tried with four children and says she never could breastfeed! There's a very simple reason to explain this phenomenon. Women during the 50's, 60's and 70's were not encouraged to nurse their babies, and there was no help available to them. We now have a culture where many women have never even seen a baby breastfed prior to nursing their own. Their own mothers, sisters, and aunts can't help because they didn't nurse either. Statistics show that the majority of women who start out breastfeeding have quit by the second week! This is not because of medical problems, but because they are not given the information, support, and help that they need.

Your situation sounds no different actually. You were given some very poor information. In fact, it made me very sad to read your letter, because, with a little help, things may have been very different. First of all, it is very normal for a newborn to lose up to 10% of his bodyweight initially. Doctors expect this to happen. Generally, with breastfed babies, they are expected to regain back to birthweight by about 2-3 weeks. (Doctors would like it to be by week 2, but it's often week 3.)

I was also very surprised to read that a lactation consultant told you to put cabbage leaves on your breasts to "stimulate the milk glands." Cabbage leaves are known to do just the opposite. They REDUCE milk supply. Their most common use is for engorgement or for a mother who needs to dry up her supply. It is not yet known how it works, but it is believed that there may be a chemical in cabbage that causes fluid to be drawn out of the body. I have heard anecdotal warnings about not using it longer than 24 hours because of the dangers of drying up the supply.

You asked if there are some people who just can't breastfeed. The answer is yes, but it is a very small number--estimated by many to be less than 1%. So, for the next time around, the best advice I can give you is to educate yourself. Search through www.breastfeeding.com, read books on breastfeeding, attend breastfeeding classes and find a La Leche League Group. Do all this and things should be very different for you. And if you run into problems, you know which website to turn to!

Cher Sealy, RN, BSN, IBCLC, LLLL
 

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