Breastfeeding.com - Communication and Your Newborn

Do you remember your baby's very first cry? From the moment of birth, your baby began to communicate. At first, your newborn's cries may seem like a foreign language to you. But before you know it, you will learn your baby's "language" and be able to provide him or her with what he or she needs.

Right after birth, you introduced your baby to your own ways of communicating: touching, soothing, holding, and making facial gestures. Your baby will learn your "language," just as you will learn your baby's "language."

How Does My Baby Communicate?

Your baby is born with the ability to cry, which is how he or she will be communicating for a while. Your baby's cries generally tell you that something is wrong in his or her world: an empty belly, a wet bottom, cold feet, he or she is tired, he or she needs to be held and cuddled, etc. Soon you'll be able to recognize which need your baby is expressing and respond accordingly. In fact, sometimes what a baby needs can be identified by his or her cry - for example, the "I'm hungry" cry may be short and low-pitched, while "I'm upset" may sound choppy.

Your baby may also cry when he or she is overwhelmed by all of the sights and sounds of the world. Sometimes your baby may cry for no apparent reason at all. Don't be too upset when your baby cries and you aren't able to console him or her immediately: crying is one of your baby's ways of shutting out stimuli when he or she is overloaded.

Crying is your baby's main method of communication, but he or she is also capable of other, more subtle forms. Learning to recognize them is exciting and rewarding and can strengthen your bond with your baby.

A newborn can differentiate between the sound of a human voice and other sounds. Try to pay attention to how he or she responds to your voice. Your baby already associates your voice with care: food, warmth, touch. If your baby is crying in the bassinet, see how quickly your approaching voice quiets him or her. See how closely your baby listens when you are talking to him or her in loving tones. Your baby may not yet coordinate looking and listening, but even if he or she stares into the distance, he or she will be paying close attention to your voice as you speak. He or she may subtly adjust his or her body position or facial expression, or even move his or her arms and legs in time with your speech.

Sometime during your newborn's first month, you may get a glimpse of a first smile and perhaps hear his or her first laugh or giggle - welcome additions to your baby's communication repertoire!

What Should I Do?

As soon as you hold your baby after birth, you'll begin to communicate with each other by exchanging your first glances, sounds, and touches. Your newborn is already learning about the world through his or her senses.

As the days after birth pass, your newborn will become accustomed to seeing you and will begin to focus on your face. Your baby's senses of touch and hearing are especially important, though. Your baby will be curious about noises he or she hears, but none more so than the spoken voice. Talk to your baby whenever you have the chance. Even though your baby doesn't understand what you're saying, your calm, reassuring voice is what he or she needs to feel safe. With almost every touch your newborn is learning about life, so provide him or her with lots of tender kisses, and he or she will find the world a soothing place to be.

Communicating with a newborn is really a matter of meeting his or her needs. Always respond to your newborn's cries - he or she cannot be spoiled with too much attention. Your prompt response when your baby communicates will let your baby know that he or she is important and worthy of attention.

There will probably be times when you have met all of your baby's needs, yet he or she continues to cry. Don't despair - your baby may be overly stimulated, have gastric distress, or may have too much energy and need a good cry. It is common for babies to have a fussy period at the same time every night, generally between early evening and midnight. This can be very upsetting, but the good news is that it's short-lived; most babies outgrow it around three months. There are some things you can try to soothe your baby. Some babies are comforted by motion, such as rocking or being walked back and forth across the room, while others respond to sounds, like soft music or the hum of a vacuum cleaner. It may take some time to find out what best comforts your baby during these stressful periods.

Should I Be Concerned?

You may want to talk to your doctor if your baby seems to cry for an unusual length of time, if the cries sound odd to you, or if the crying is associated with decreased activity, poor feeding, or unusual breathing or movements. Your doctor will be able to reassure you or look for a medical reason for your baby's distress. Chances are there is nothing wrong, and knowing this can help you relax and stay calm when your baby is upset.

Here are some other reasons for prolonged crying:

• The baby is ill. A baby who cries more when being held or rocked may be sick. Call your doctor.
• The baby has an eye irritation. A scratched cornea or "foreign body" in a baby's eye can cause redness and tearing. Call your doctor.
• The baby is in pain. An open diaper pin or other object could be hurting the baby's skin. Take a close look everywhere, even each finger and toe (sometimes hair can get wrapped around a baby's tiny digits and cause pain).

If you have any questions about your newborn's ability to see or hear, you should bring them to your doctor's attention immediately. Even newborns can be tested using sophisticated equipment, if necessary. The sooner a potential problem is caught, the better it can be treated.

Updated and reviewed by: Barbara Homeier, MD
Date reviewed: January 2005
Originally reviewed by: Steven Dowshen, MD