Top 17 Funny or Fatal Things to Say to Your Pregnant Wife

17. "I finished the Oreo's."

16. "Not to imply anything, but I don't think the kid weighs 40
       pounds."

15. "Y'know, looking at her, you'd never guess that Pamela Lee
       had a baby!"

14. "I sure hope your thighs aren't gonna stay that flabby forever."

13. "Well, couldn't they induce labor? The 25th is the Super
        Bowl."

12. "Darned if you ain't about five pounds away from a surprise
       visit from that Richard Simmons fella."

11. "Fred at the office passed a stone the size of a pea. Boy,
       that's gotta hurt."

10. "Whoa! For a minute there, I thought I woke up next to
       Willard Scott!"

9. "I'm jealous! Why can't men experience the joy of childbirth?"

8. "Are your ankles supposed to look like that?"

7. "Get your *own* ice cream."

6. "Geez, you're awfully puffy looking today."

5. "Got milk?"

4. "Maybe we should name the baby after my secretary, Bambi."

3. "Man! That rose tattoo on your hip is the size of Madagascar!"

2. "Retaining water? Yeah, like the Hoover Dam retains water."

And the Number 1 Fatal Thing to Say to Your Pregnant Wife...

1. "You don't have the guts to pull the trigger........."

Thanks to Lena for posting this on the Breastfeeding.com Message Board.