- There is no such thing as child-proofing your house.
- A 4 year old's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded
restaurant.
- When you hear the toilet flush and the words "Uh-oh;"
it's already too late.
- A magnifying glass can start a fire even on an overcast day.
 Legos
will pass through the digestive tract of a 4 year old.- Duplos will not.
- If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not
strong enough to rotate a 42-pound boy wearing Pound Puppy
underwear and a Superman cape.
- It is strong enough however to spread paint on all four walls of
a 20 by 20 foot room.
- You probably do not want to know what that odor is.
- Always look in the oven before you turn it on.
- Quiet does not necessarily mean don't worry.
- Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
- Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
- Play Dough and Microwave should never be used in the same
sentence.
- Super glue is forever.
- Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
- VCR's do not eject PB&J sandwiches even though TV
commercials show they do.
- The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earth worms
dizzy.
- It will however make cats dizzy.
- Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
- You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on.
- When using the ceiling fan as a bat you have to throw the ball
up a few times before you get a hit.
- A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
- The glass in windows (even double pane) doesn't stop a baseball
hit by a ceiling fan.
- If you use a waterbed as home plate while wearing baseball shoes
it does not leak - it explodes.
- A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a
2000-square-foot house four inches deep.
- A 6 year old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a
36-year-old man says they can only do it in the movies.
- A good sense of humor will get you through most problems in life
(unfortunately, mostly in retrospect).
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Breastfeeding
The
Lighter Side
