There is no such thing as child-proofing your house. A 4 year old's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded
restaurant. When you hear the toilet flush and the words "Uh-oh;"
it's already too late. A magnifying glass can start a fire even on an overcast day. Duplos will not. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not
strong enough to rotate a 42-pound boy wearing Pound Puppy
underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough however to spread paint on all four walls of
a 20 by 20 foot room. You probably do not want to know what that odor is. Always look in the oven before you turn it on. Quiet does not necessarily mean don't worry. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving. Play Dough and Microwave should never be used in the same
sentence. Super glue is forever. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes. VCR's do not eject PB&J sandwiches even though TV
commercials show they do. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earth worms
dizzy. It will however make cats dizzy. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using the ceiling fan as a bat you have to throw the ball
up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way. The glass in windows (even double pane) doesn't stop a baseball
hit by a ceiling fan. If you use a waterbed as home plate while wearing baseball shoes
it does not leak - it explodes. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a
2000-square-foot house four inches deep. A 6 year old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a
36-year-old man says they can only do it in the movies. A good sense of humor will get you through most problems in life
(unfortunately, mostly in retrospect).
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Funny Things
Adults Learn from Kids
Legos
will pass through the digestive tract of a 4 year old.
The
