Parenting with a
sense of humor

Having children
will turn you into
your parents.
Those who say
they "sleep like
a baby" don't
have one.
You can learn
many things from children,
like how much patience you have.
One child is often not enough, but two children can be far
too many.
Insanity is inherited - you get it from your kids.
If you have trouble getting your children's attention, just sit
down and look comfortable.
A young child is a noise with dirt on it.
An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys.
Familiarity breeds children.
Be nice to your kids, for it is they who will choose your
nursing home.
For adult education, nothing beats children.
It now costs more to amuse a child than it once did to
educate his father.
Summer vacation is a time when parents realize that teachers
are grossly underpaid.
Money isn't everything, but it sure keeps the kids in touch.
Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth.
There are three ways to get things done: 1) do it yourself,
2) hire someone to do it, 3) forbid
your kids to do it.
The best thing to spend on your children is time.
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