Funny how words take on new meanings
when you're expecting!
 AFTERBIRTH: When the hard part begins.
CRAVINGS: An excuse to gluttonize your way through pregnancy.
DILATION: One of those things a pregnant woman has to take her
doctor's or midwife's word for.
ELASTIPHOBIA: Fear of making it into the Guinness Book of World
Records for "Most Stretch Marks."
FIRST TRIMESTER: The first three months of pregnancy when you
wonder, "Is it too late to hire a surrogate mother?"
MATERNITY CLOTHES: What a pregnant woman wears to show people
there's a reason she's fat.
MIRACLE: 1. The birth of a baby. 2. The fact that you lived to
tell about it.
OBSTETRICIAN/MIDWIFE: The person who tells you you're doing fine when you
think you're caught in the jaws of death.
 PREGNANT PAUSE: The amount of time it takes for a 9-month
pregnant woman to get out of a chair.
PRENATAL: When your life was still your own.
SECOND TRIMESTER: The time when you ask the question,
"Will my husband notice if I eat this gallon of ice cream and
side of beef before he gets home?"
THIRD TRIMESTER: The final months of pregnancy when you wonder,
"How much longer can I keep from waddling?"
|
Breastfeeding
The
Lighter Side
