Pregnancy
Dictionary
Pregnancy Dictionary
Funny how words take on new meanings when you're expecting!  AFTERBIRTH: When the hard part begins.CRAVINGS: An excuse to gluttonize your way through pregnancy. DILATION: One of those things a pregnant woman has to take her doctor's or midwife's word for. ELASTIPHOBIA: Fear of making it into the Guinness Book of World Records for "Most Stretch Marks." FIRST TRIMESTER: The first three months of pregnancy when you wonder, "Is it too late to hire a surrogate mother?" MATERNITY CLOTHES: What a pregnant woman wears to show people there's a reason she's fat. MIRACLE: 1. The birth of a baby. 2. The fact that you lived to tell about it. OBSTETRICIAN/MIDWIFE: The person who tells you you're doing fine when you think you're caught in the jaws of death.  PREGNANT PAUSE: The amount of time it takes for a 9-month
pregnant woman to get out of a chair.PRENATAL: When your life was still your own. SECOND TRIMESTER: The time when you ask the question, "Will my husband notice if I eat this gallon of ice cream and side of beef before he gets home?" THIRD TRIMESTER: The final months of pregnancy when you wonder, "How much longer can I keep from waddling?" |
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