Vignettes of Nursing Humor I

That's Your Breast, That's Your Baby

After getting a total of four hours sleep in two days, our six week old son was finally sleeping and so was I. In the middle of the night I had to go to the bathroom. My husband was awake and working in the studio. He asked me where the baby was. I said, "He is right here!" as I tried to pass him my breast! He starts laughing, and I came slowly out of my sleep induced haze to realize I was cradling my breast. When I went back to bed my husband tucked me in, patted my breast, and says, "that is your breast," then points to our sleeping baby, "that is the baby."

When my daughter Jessica was six weeks old, I visited my brother who had three small children. The children were very curious and interested in watching me breastfeed their new cousin. Shortly after our arrival, as 4-year-old Andrea watched, she pointed to my breasts and innocently asked, "If milk comes out of that one, does juice come out of the other one?" It was a priceless moment of childish wonder.

by Pamela Bayles

My toddler has a habit of standing in front of me and sticking his head under my T-shirt to nurse. Most people who see the little legs and feet sticking out from under my shirt are amused and/or curious. My two year old niece, who was bottle-fed and never before saw a baby nursing, observed my son nursing this way and she sat there transfixed. We have no way of knowing what she thought he was doing under there and my sister-in-law and I nearly died laughing when my son popped out from under my shirt and my niece piped up "Okay - it's my turn"!

When I was about seven months pregnant with my second child, my 4-year-old daughter and I were out to lunch. The well-meaning waitress chatted with my daughter about the impending arrival of the baby. The conversation ended, however, when she asked my daughter if she planned to give the baby a bottle when it arrived. "No," my daughter stated while matter-of-factly patting my breasts, "these are drinking boo-boo's!"

by Cindy Foster
Central Point, Oregon, USA