Vignettes of Nursing Humor 22

Humorous Nursing Tales

I am a mother of three wonderful children, two boys 6 years old and 4 years old and one daughter, 5 months old. As much as we tried to prepare our boys for the fact that baby would be getting her food from mommy's boobs, they have a million questions. I nurse in public on occasion and am pretty comfortable around my family and find no need to go to the back room to nurse when company comes over. While at my grandmother's house one night, my six year old was watching a story on television about a woman that had quintuplets. He looked at my mother and said "Man she's gonna need a lot of boobs to feed those babies!" My entire family was rolling. It was really a wonderful
moment.

-Michelle

When I was nursing my first-born daughter, I would often fall asleep nursing her in the evening. My husband (who skipped the breast-feeding class) came into the bedroom and found us both sound asleep. Trying to help out, he went to lift my daughter into her co-sleeper. The next day he said "When I moved the baby, your nipple just kept stretching and stretching- it was unbelievable!" Of course he didn't know about breaking the suction when taking baby off of the breast! And the funny part was, I never woke up!

I am working on weaning my 2 1/2 year old son, my sixth child. He's not too thrilled with the idea. I was recently recovering from minor surgery and tired of the night-time awakening for nursing. I had started turning my back to Levi when he had nursed for a while and I was done. This night, I guess he wasn't done. But I was! I turned my back to him and felt him reach out and pat with his little hands. When he didn't find the breasts he was looking for, he said - in a pitiful voice - "That not very nice!" He was back to sleep in a matter of seconds, but his comment will stay in my heart forever!

-Terrie

My daughter, Monika, is 20 months old, and very verbal. A couple of weeks ago we were in our bedroom, nursing after waking up from her nap. All of a sudden Monika started patting the breast she was drinking from, and said "Milk's hot, Mommy." Amused, I said "It is?". Monika answered, "Yeah", then proceeded to cool it (and me) by blowing on my nipple!

Last week we were on a very long road trip, and I had stopped at a gas station. It was somewhat difficult to nurse in the van because of a lack of room, so we ended up sitting on the floor in the bathroom. I guess the long trip had made Monika quite thirsty, because when she was ready to switch sides she told me "Other side milk - open the pipes!"

- Pamela

I breastfeed (nurse) my daughter who is now 5 months old. She refuses bottles and any of the solids that we have tried for her so far. I pump milk if I have to be away from her for more than a couple of hours. My mom swears that she can hear me pulling up in the driveway and even though she has been perfectly fine while I'm away. Mom says I pull in the driveway and my daughter starts getting excited, she knows that it is time for "ninja juice" (that's what my mother calls breastmilk) from the cow, not out of the bottle. That's the sweetest feeling.

-Michelle

One night I was nursing my four month son in bed and I fell asleep with my shirt off. I woke up a couple hours later to my son crying. the breast that I was feeding him on was squirting him in the face. Before I could try to make it stop my husband started to make a funny noise. My other breast was leaking so much that it squirted all over his face, in his eyes and mouth. He never lets me forget that.

- Shannon

While I was pregnant for baby number two, I made sure I explained to my 4 year old son Darian all about breastfeeding. We looked at books and got an adorable coloring book about how he could help me while I breastfed. Of course, after baby Jarrod was born he was quite curious about how it all worked. By the time Jarrod was two weeks old, Darian would tell me "time for breastmilk" when Jarrod would cry and encouraged me to drink water if he hadn't seen me doing it enough. A few weeks before I had to return to my part time job, I began pumping about the same time each day to build up a store in the freezer. Darian was again curious, as four year olds are, and amazed that mommy could "make ALL THAT MILK!" One day he asked what breastmilk tasted like, so I let him try a little bit I had in the refrigerator. After taking a sip, he pondered it for a moment and then said, "this is good. Can I have some in my cereal in the morning." I laughed so hard. I still don't think he knows what was so funny. He was so serious!!

-Kristine