Renee's Breastfeeding Story

by Renee

When I was pregnant with my first son, I knew that I didn't want to breastfeed. I thought it was wonderful for mothers and babies that did, but it just wasn't for me. Besides I knew a lot of babies that had done just fine on formula. When I went into the hospital in labor, I told the nurses that I was going to formula feed, and no one tried to persuade me otherwise. After a 30 hour labor and a stat c-section, I thought I'd made the right decision for sure, I'd be way too tired for nursing. Then things changed-they told me my son was sick, he had an infection and was spitting up formula, so they gave him an IV and decided not to feed him until he got better. I tried to nurse, but I was very sore from the surgery, and he had trouble latching on, so I gave up. He cried the whole day after he was born, but the nurses assured me that he wasn't hungry because he was getting nutrition through the IV. Late that night, as I held him, he began to root, and it was obvious he wanted to nurse, so I decided to give it a try, I wanted to do whatever I could to make him better. He latched on immediately, and nursed for 30 minutes on each breast. After that first night, I was a nursing mom!! I told the nurses, no more formula for my breastfed baby!!

Things went well until we got home, and family and friends began to doubt my ability to nourish him with breast milk, and at his 2 week appointment he had just regained his birth weight, they convinced me to supplement. He was weaned by the time he was 4 months old, and everyone convinced me that I did the right thing, but I couldn't convince myself. I felt a void and missed the closeness that nursing had given us.

When I found out I was expecting again, I decided there would be no stopping me, I was breastfeeding. When Josh was born though, he had fluid in his lungs that was preventing him from breathing well and he had to receive oxygen under a hood and food through a tube in his nose. I began pumping immediately, and gave him colostrum and breast milk through the tube until finally, at 5 days old, the doctor said I could nurse. She warned me, however, that he probably wouldn't latch on right away, and told me not to be disappointed. As the nurse handed him to me, my eyes filled with tears of joy, I couldn't believe that it was finally happening. The nurse reached for a bottle and suggested that I use it to get him to open his mouth. There was no need. He latched on immediately, like a seasoned pro. As I sat in the hospital nursery and nursed my baby for the first time, I was filled with a special pride and joy that only a nursing mother could have. I promised my son then that he would only get the best, his mommy's milk, for as long as he wanted. Joshua is now almost 7 months, and we are still nursing strong with no sign of stopping any time soon! He is happy, healthy, and with all the joy he has brought to my life, how could I not give him the best? Nothing but mommy's milk for mommy's little miracle.