All I Need

By Jennifer Seger

On this day my husband walks into the bedroom and says "Happy birthday honey, sorry we couldn't afford to get anything this year".

I look all around my bed. I see my five year old daughter (Morgan) laying behind me playing with my hair singing Happy Birthday, my two year old daughter (Emma) laying on the other side of me holding my hand also singing to me, what I "think" is Happy Birthday. I look down and see my 11 week old daughter (Lindsey) laying close to my tummy and nursing away while her eyes are wide open listening to the tune her big sisters are singing. I smile at my husband and say "I don't need a thing, everything I ever wanted is in this bed".

You see the reason we couldn't afford to get anything this year is because we have so many hospital bills we can barely make the house payment. Lindsey is a miracle in herself. Last year at thirteen weeks pregnant I lost my third baby to a miscarriage. This came as such a shock because Morgan and Emma's pregnancies went off without a hitch. I was broken. I went into the hospital that night bleeding and left some hours later with an empty womb and empty arms, NOT what is supposed to happen when you walk into a hospital pregnant. Well, we decided to try again with my doctors advice and just two months later were pregnant again. Another loss followed two days later at seven weeks along. Now I was more than broken....I was resigned to the fact that I was only meant to have the two daughters I have. My husband and I decided that we were going to put it in God's hands and let him decide our fate of parenthood.

Much to our surprise he decided we were to be given another chance. And just two weeks after I stopped bleeding from my second loss I was pregnant again!

I gave birth to Lindsey Scott Seger one year to the DAY that I lost my first baby. I know that no matter how broke we are on my birthday (hence the hospital bills from the miscarriages and birth of Lindsey) I will have all I ever need. Every time I sit down to nurse her (which I plan to do for a year or so) that I am the luckiest woman I know...............

*This story is in memory of my two children that never came to be with us