Leila's Chapped Lips

by Michelle Hewitt

I never really had a good supply of breast milk to begin with. I never leak, never have to wear nursing pads. It's all because when Leila was only a few days old, her lips got so chapped it hurt her to open her mouth to latch on.

At the time, I was going to exclusively breastfeed and pump when I returned to work, but all she did was scream whenever she tried to grab on. I felt so guilty when I had to open that bottle of formula and give her a bottle before breastfeeding was even established. My milk hadn't even come in yet, and already my baby was on the bottle drinking formula.

When her lips healed I put her back on me, but then she would cry because she didn't want to work to get the colostrum when the bottle was so easy. I kept trying anyway, and eventually, but weeks later, my milk finally came in and I was finally able to use a pump.

It got to the point where now some of the bottles are TOO fast for her because she was used to working for her milk. Still, I don't have a very big supply, so I find it hard to pump enough for my mom during the day while I'm at work and she's watching her. What I'm doing now is I double what I pump by mixing it with formula in a bottle, so that she's getting breast milk in every bottle rather than pure formula. When she's with me, she doesn't get formula, just the breast, as long as I am "full" she's OK.

The HR Department at my job was very supportive. They gave me the key to an empty office and hung a curtain over the window so I could have complete privacy. I make sure I go in there at least twice in the day to pump, but it's very difficult to squeeze in a third opportunity. I WISH I had more milk, but we're going to keep trying.

Anyway, my husband, Daniel won't let me quit, he wants me to nurse for the full year. I hope I last that long! It is great though to have a supportive husband who wants the best for our daughter. He's not even pro-breast because it's economical, but rather he says "I don't want my daughter getting sick".

Leila is now only going on two months old. So the story does continue. I'm just glad we haven't given up and that I have enough milk to satisfy her at the moment