Mommy Loves You

by Dee

I have been a type1 diabetic for 17 years and I am 31 years old. Since the risk for type1 diabetics having big babies is allegedly high, I was induced at 38 weeks and ended up having an emergency C-section. Since my baby was likely to have low blood sugar after birth, she was taken to the NICU right away. I saw her for 5 seconds, "Mommy loves you," is all I got to say.

In the hospital's Lamaze class I was told that I'd get my baby back in 3 hours. Then I was told in the OR I'd get her back after 9 hours. I didn't get her back until three nights later!

My baby's blood sugar was monitored and she had borderline low blood sugar, so she was put on dextrose fluids via IV. Instead of allowing me the chance to breastfeed, they automatically gave her Similac formula via bottle.

If my mom, an OB nurse at a "baby friendly" hospital, hadn't been there to urge me to infiltrate the NICU and insist that I breastfeed I would've given up on breastfeeding altogether.

For the 3 days that I visited baby Celeste in the NICU I tried with my mom's support to breastfeed. Celeste refused and threw tantrums, even dislodging her IV while she struggled. I had to pump my colostrum and feed her via bottle.

When I got home on the 4th day, I was determined to nurse. When she was hungry, I would try until she surrendered. We tried various techniques to get her to latch on: wrapping her up in a receiving blanket so she couldn't push my breasts away with her tiny hands, we tried removing her clothing to make her cold so that the only thing she'd hug onto for warmth was my breast, and we tried expressing a bit of milk on her lips to attract her.

Poor Celeste, her cries would make me cry because I had the mommy blues. I was so engorged and had to keep trying day and night. Finally after two weeks, and with the initial help of a nipple shield, she finally got it.

Celeste is now five and a half months old. She takes the breast and doesn't fuss when I give her pumped breastmilk via bottle. I work full-time so I supplement here and there with formula, but she would rather have the boobs over anything else. Currently, I pump about 12-18 ounces of breastmilk per day and freeze it overnight. I try to pump extra on the weekends too.