Christmas With Francesca

by Lindsy Rende

Despite my not breastfeeding my first two children I was determined to breastfeed my third. I read everything I could get my hands on, spoke to people who had done it, and searched the internet for information.

When Francesca was born I immediately started to breastfeed. Within twelve hours my nipples were very sore. I asked the nurse to help me with my latch on. The nurse observed me and said I was doing fine and "looked like a pro" I certainly did not feel like a pro! Throughout my stay I asked every nurse I saw to help me. They all said I was doing fine and that my nipples were "supposed to hurt" and that I had to "get used to breastfeeding".

By the time I left the hospital breastfeeding felt like hot needles going into my nipple. But that was only the beginning. Francesca was so sleepy. I was having more and more trouble getting her to feed. Eventually I could not get her to feed at all. I was panicked.

The day before Christmas eve, three days after delivering my baby, I called a lactation consultant to come out and help me. She had me watch a video and showed me how to latch on correctly. She showed me how to do breast compression to encourage Francesca to feed. She was a godsend. I wish I could say that after that we all lived happily ever after but I can't.

Francesca grew sleepier and sleepier. She seemed to be developing the yellow tinge of jaundice. On Christmas Eve morning I was trying to get my baby to feed. When she finally roused she opened her eyes for a moment and I saw that they were very yellow. I called the pediatrician and they had my husband and I bring her in to the on call doctor.

We brought Francesca to the on call pediatrician and she began to examine her. She said that she did seem yellow but because Francesca is olive skinned, we are Italian, it was hard to tell just how jaundiced she was. We would have to bring her to the ER for blood work after the office visit. You might think that this was a wild ride for my family and I but it wasn't over yet.

As I was changing Francesca's diaper before we left for the ER the pediatrician caught sight of one of Francesca's stools and informed us that it was not normal and that it appeared to be that Francesca was allergic to dairy. The pediatrician told us that we would have to stop breastfeeding for few days and pump until the allergen was out of my system. She gave us cans of formula and sent us on our way.

After a few miserable hours at the ER they informed us that Francesca's bilirubin was at a 19 and if it went up anymore that they would have to admit her into the hospital for photo therapy. They sent us away with instructions to feed her formula every two hours and come back the next day which was Christmas. If she needed to she would be admitted then.

I felt utterly defeated but I did not want to give up. I could not get out of my head the first time I saw that sweet little mouth latch on to my breast and how I felt at one with my baby. I knew that was how it was supposed to be.

On the way home from the ER we had to stop and buy a hospital grade pump. I started pumping immediately. The next day we brought Francesca back to the ER for retesting and her bilirubin was going down! It was the best Christmas gift I could have gotten but it got even better.

When we got home the new on call pediatrician called and told us to resume breastfeeding. I could not have been happier. Despite a slow start I continued to breastfeed from that point on. My nipples were no longer sore and I now have to avoid dairy and soy due to Francesca's allergies.

It was (and is!) all worth it to be able to experience this amazing and wonderful relationship. I always wonder about what would have happened and all that I would have missed out on if I had given up back then when everything seemed to be working against me breastfeeding my baby. Now we are enjoying all that breastfeeding has to offer. Francesca has yet to get a cold or ear infection and her chubby cheeks and body are telling me she is enjoying "mother's best"

Thank goodness everything worked out!