Hannah

by Emma L. Shows

Wow. Hannah was born at 32 weeks. I almost miscarried her at 5 weeks, just three days after finding out I was pregnant, and then again at 13 weeks. I was cleared from bed rest in June and started having contractions that same month. The doctor told me that Braxton Hick contractions were normal. In July, I was desperately looking for a job. The stress caused more contractions but still I was told that was normal.

Finally, after finding a job and working two days I had severe contractions that ended me up in Labor and Delivery. They didn't find anything but I was put back on bed rest because of rapid swelling, weight gain, dizziness and everything else.

The doctors then discovered I was PIH. My protein levels were 9,988. We were rushed to the nearest hospital with a NICU. The doctors tried to delay the birth but decided my levels were too high and it would be the death of me to try to keep Hannah in even a few more days.

Hannah was born in one push, we heard her cry, they let me kiss her and whisked her away. The nurses brought a pump, there had been no question in my mind that I would nurse Hannah if at all possible. I pumped and dumped the first three days, because of the medicine I was on.

I couldn't even go see Hannah the first day and a half, first because of the medicine I was on and second because I was running a low-grade fever, due to the stress of giving birth. I stayed by Hannah's side as long as the doctors and nurses would let me.

I slept at the Ronald McDonald house to be able to take care of my 2 and 1/2 year old daughter. Hannah was doing so well that they moved her back to our hospital at 3 weeks (35 weeks gestational).

I still pumped, every 2 hours, so that I was pumping 10-12 times a day. We finally started her nursing once a day, then twice a day, once in the morning and once in the evening.

My older daughter was then able to come see Hannah at our hospital and started bonding with her little sister.

Hannah was released a week and a half later. In two weeks time Hannah was feeding from the breast and then bottle every other time. By one month she was getting breast and bottle at every feeding, the one wasn't satisfying her.

Hannah is now 4 and 1/2 months old and still eats every 2 hours. She has reflux and they're trying to decide if she is lactose intolerant.

I love to see everyone's preemie "triumph" stories. I know that Hannah did exceptionally better than the other babies in the NICU, the doctors even accused me of being wrong about her due date. She's always been a fighter, and is growing rapidly. The doctors here say that she is trying to catch up with other babies her gestational age.

She was born at 1360 grams, 2lbs 15oz, 16 and 1/2" long, early Sunday morning.

My mother's pastor said it was fitting to name her Hannah, as he was preaching on Hannah's son Samuel that same day. Hannah's full name means "Gracious Song" or "Grace Gift" and she really is my miracle baby.

I didn't want her to begin with. I knew it would take a while to bond with my baby, and yet, today, I can't imagine not having her. She has me totally wrapped around her little finger. I grew to love her during the many hours, being left alone by her side, only leaving to eat and sleep or to take care of my three year old.

Being a single mom of one is tough. Being the single mom of a three-year-old and a high-maintenance preemie is hard. While Hannah is not hooked up to machines she still demands a lot of time and attention, especially being a strictly-breastfed baby.

I thank God for her each and every day. I am so glad to have her, my little fighter. She is strong and sweet and good and so happy. She's teaching me to enjoy life and to relish in the full trust and love of another human being.

Hannah and her sister are awesome teachers and I'm very blessed to have them both. I just wanted to share a little bit about my Gracious Song, my Grace Gift.