Incredible Adventure

My son was born August 20, 2002. He is my second and my final child. I remember the joy that came when I held him in my arms for the very first time. He poked out his bottom lip and let out the sweetest little whimper. My heart melted and I squeezed him tight and thanked God for the newest miracle in our lives.

He is a miracle baby. He was conceived after I'd just had a pineapple sized cyst and my right ovary removed. My doctor wouldn't even speak of me having another child but I was determined. I faithfully started taking my iron and prenatal vitamins and even shopped for maternity clothes. I went back to my doctor a month later and asked for a pregnancy test. He said it was way to early to detect and the possibilities were slim but I knew I had the baby I wanted growing within my womb. Four hours later the phone call came and I was overjoyed when he told me that I was right. I was pregnant!

I wanted to do everything right by my children. I tried to nurse my oldest baby after she was born but she never took to it and I gave up way to soon. I gave up before I was even released from the hospital. I regretted my decision to give up trying to nurse every time I made her a bottle filled with formula. So, I decided that my second child would be different.

Moments after my son was born he latched on and it was a dream come true! I had never purchased a single bottle or had any formula in my home because I didn't want any easy way outs. The first couple days in the hospital were so rough for me. My nipples were cracked and bleeding. I was scared because my son was actually ingesting some of my blood because I was bleeding so heavily from my breasts. I cried, cried and cried some more from the pain. I know it was hard for my husband to see me go through it but I had to. The nurses were so supportive because they kept saying..."Don't give up, honey. It'll get better. You must give your baby the best start in life." They were so right. It did get better.

Four weeks after my son was born and he was still bottle free. He'd never seen a bottle. Then one morning I woke up delusional. I was hot and cold and couldn't keep my eyes open...I was seeing things that weren't truly there. My husband and I didn't know what was wrong with me so he called our doctor. I'd contracted a bad form of Mastitis. It was so painful! I laid in bed for a couple of days and it hurt so badly to nurse my son but once again, I was showered with lots of love and support from everyone around me. I pulled through and continued my son on the bottle free path.

My husband left for the military and requested that I'd have our son weaned by the time he came back. I couldn't do it. I knew my son still needed me. Later that same week that my husband left, our son fell ill for the first time. He was hospitalized with a severe respiratory infection. He was placed on oxygen and remained monitored at Children's hospital. He was just 7 months old. His doctors at Children's encouraged me to nurse him every chance I got. They told me that nursing him would provide him so much comfort and so I did. I held my son and nursed him all through the day and night while he was attached to tubes and machines. He was released 2 days later and has never been ill since!

His first birthday rolled around and I continued to nurse him. Although, the support from friends and family had long been stopped. They all felt that it was time to wean but I didn't think
so. I decided to follow my sons cues. We were still so close and we both felt so comfortable together that it seemed only natural to continue to nurse him. My son and I pushed through all of the negative comments and unwanted suggestions and advise. We pushed through all the myths that it wasn't natural anymore and that it needed to stop....I didn't believe it and I felt in my heart that I would know when the time was right to wean my son.

I started to slowly wean January 1, 2004 when my son was 16 months old. I felt like I didn't need to nurse him every time he fell down or wanted to take a nap. He was old enough to find other ways to pacify his needs other than reaching for me. It was hard. I held him in my arms and cried right with him...We cried for a long time that first day but we survived and every day got a little better.

Now, my son is 21 months old and he has been weaned for 8 days! I talked to my son and I told him that it was time for us to end this chapter in our lives. We both cried and cried the first
night. It was hard. My husband laid in bed with us and stroked both of our backs and comforted the both of us. It wasn't only emotionally hard for our son but it was hard for me as well. I'd done this everyday for the last 21 months. It was emotionally draining the first night. I had a million and one emotions running through me and it broke my heart to hear my son cry and beg
me for something that I just could no longer provide. But, the sun came up and there was a new day...He woke up as I stroked his hair. He gave me a big smile and kissed and hugged me good morning. It was a huge weight lifted off of me to know that he knew that I still loved him and that this was something that needed to be done for the both of us.

As I look back on the past 21 months, it has been an incredible adventure. I've learned so many new things about myself. I've learned that a woman's body is an awesome Heavenly creation. I've watched and listened as my son hungrily gulped down milk that came from my body and it was very satisfying. I have no regrets in dedicating 21 months of my life to doing something that I believe in so strongly. I look at him and I know that I solely provided him all of his nourishments for 5 months and I gave him the best possible start in life through my very own milk. I would not have done a single thing differently. I would not have traded the sore, bleeding cracked nipples...The 2 bought of delusional mastitis and I would not have traded all of the negative remarks and stares I got from some people when I fed my son (tastefully covered) in public. Breastfeeding my son for 21 months was an amazing experience and I'm sad to see it over but I look forward to all the new amazing things to come!