Short Stories of Misadventure

by Pertrina Finn

Full Exposure:
I nursed my youngest son for four months and it worked out quite well for us.

I settled into a routine quickly with him.

At the time my middle daughter was 20 months old and would go down for an afternoon nap.

I would put her to sleep and then come down stairs to feed my son in front of an afternoon television show.

This routine was quickly established and enjoyable for all concerned.

One day as I was enjoying my feeding and program, the doorbell rang.

When I answered the door a man was looking for money.

I quickly went to find my purse when I realized that I had only one hand free, the other was supporting the baby.

At that moment I realized I had answered the door with my breast fully exposed and had stood talking to him for a long moment without realizing it!

The Missing Breast Pad:
I breast-fed my youngest son until he was four months.

At about three months, I decided that I needed to get out with a friend.

I expressed enough breast milk over the previous week to allow me to go out for a couple of hours.

I had one big problem!

I had large amounts of breast-milk leakage and had to wear breast pads all the time.

I was still determined to go with my friend to a pub!

While I was in the pub I noticed that one breast was lower than the other...significantly.

I was worried that I was going to leak.

I then realized that I had only one breast pad on.

I was convinced that I had secured the breast pads in my bra before I left and my only conclusion was that I had lost one of them in the pub/disco!

I made my friend drink up and leave the pub at an alarming rate!

I did not want someone to find the breast pad in my presence.