My Nursing Evolution

by Shannon Ross

I just wanted to share my breastfeeding experience with everyone as breastfeeding.com has been a great - at times invaluable - resource for me. It has made me change the way I think for the better, and I am so thankful that there is a place where such wonderful people can commune!

My beautiful daughter Jayda Lynn was born March 7 of this year. Weighing in at 9 pounds, 5 ounces, she was a big girl with a big appetite. When she arrived, the doctor put her on my chest and I put her to my breast where she nursed for the first time. There was never a doubt in my mind that I would, having been breastfed myself, and grown up around breastfeeding mothers. It was an experience beyond words, as most moms can relate. I thought nursing would be that easy the whole time.

Funny thing those painkillers they give you in the hospital...I had no idea that the latch on was so critical, and long story short, ended up with the nastiest case of sore nipples, something I didn't even know was possible. So now I had this big hungry baby that wanted to nurse every hour, and refused to be put down, on top of purple nipples that were developing scabs. I didn't know what to do, and didn't think to really ask for advice.

At home I gave in and let Jayda sleep in be with me, terrified of what might happen if I didn't adhere to the "Back To Sleep" campaign. But I was also compelled by lack of sleep, and rewarded by my baby's peaceful nature. When it came time for her to eat, I cringed. She'd open her little mouth, and I'd bring her close, buttocks clenching in anticipation of the pain, toes curling when she suckled fiercely at first, as she always did. I even had a dream that I was holding her, ready to nurse her, and when she opened her mouth, she had razor sharp, stainless steel, shark-type teeth.

After the first week, I began having serious doubts, and cried a few times when nursing because it hurt so bad. Then came the sabotage. A formula company sent me a "gift", and looking back on it now with new eyes, I see it was very craftily timed. I gave in. I got out one of many bottles I had been given at my baby showers, and mixed the formula in it. It smelled to me like rotten broccoli. Crying and frustrated, I put the nipple in my daughter's hungry mouth, and she promptly spit it out and screamed. Eventually she ate it, only to spit it all up minutes later. I read a few things on breastfeeding advocacy, but I thought, "All those militant breastfeeders must be gluttons for punishment". I had unknowingly bought the formula myths. I thought it wasn't a big deal if I quit, and I'd just be a little sad, but it was just as good to bottle feed her. In ignorance I tried a few more times over the next week, but luckily my baby was wiser than I - she boycotted each time until I gave her precious brutalized booby.

Finally my mother asked to see what I was doing when I nursed her, and I did. She turned out to be my LC in disguise, and showed me how to squash my nipple to help Jayda latch on better. In my efforts to better educate myself on proper nursing techniques, and cures for sore nipples, I found breastfeeding.com. I learned about the intent of formula companies, the importance of breastfeeding, attachment parenting, and so so much more. I am now a happily breastfeeding, co sleeping, baby wearing mom. I can now shun peoples notions with confidence. My baby is not fussy or difficult, I am not spoiling her, she will not sleep in my bed forever, formula is not just as good, and nursing is not embarrassing, or hard, or difficult to do in public - anywhere (except in a restroom). I feel sad now when I see babies sucking away on a bottle.

I want to share my newfound knowledge, because it has brought so much joy to me. We are so much happier now that we live and nurture like we do, and even my husband has come around, all thanks to this online community. So pat yourself on the back posters, creators, and contributors, your information, knowledge, tips and tales helped this unsure mom become a full fledged confident breastfeeder...maybe even militant. I just hope to one day help another frustrated first time nurser figure it out and experience the fulfillment of nourishing their own child at the breast.

Thank you all!