Nursing Perspectives

By Lori Thwing

I am the mother of a 4-month-old boy and he is exclusively breastfed. I was not encouraged to do so by my family, especially my mother. (My husband has been very supportive and even taken on a second job to allow me to stay home with Konur.)

My Mom had me in a time when breastfeeding simply wasn't done. She was OK with me doing it at home, but to nurse in public was simply unacceptable to her. She thought that pumps were invented so nursing moms could bottle-feed in public. She said it was offensive and likened it to dogs and cats and reminded me that they were animals and I should not confuse myself with an animal. She suggested I go to my car or the bathroom to feed him if I insisted on not bottle-feeding him when we were out.

She let me know that at 6 weeks he should be eating every four hours and sleeping through the night. I was devastated that this did not match up with my instincts and started to doubt my decision to breastfeed.

I was fortunate enough to have a lactation consultant that I could call and ask questions. She told me to listen to my "mother heart" and do what I felt needed to be done. She asked me how often I took a drink of water and reminded me that my milk was the only thing that Konur had to drink and that he just needed me to quench his thirst sometimes.

As for feeding in public, she assured me that most people don't even notice and encouraged me to nurse in front of a mirror to practice being discreet, if that was what I wanted.

I live on opposite sides of the country from my Mom, so we went for a visit when Konur was 4 months old. I was very nervous when we went to the mall and Konur became obviously hungry. I knew I could either find a bathroom, go back to the car, or sit on the bench and feed him. I chose to walk over to the bench and sit down.

My father window shopped and my Mom sat down next to me. I still didn't know what she would say. While I parted my nursing shirt and unhooked the bra, my mother helped support Konur's head and even helped me positioned him onto my breast.

She looked around and said that she wished she had something to support my arm with. I looked at her and told her that her moral support meant more to me right now than anything else in the world.

She nodded and said that Konur was just thirsty since it was warm outside! We sat there for about 10 minutes. I noticed her looking around nervously, but no one noticed what I was doing. I informed her that we could keep walking, that I could do this while we walked through the mall. We proceeded to walk down the crowded mall, my Mom, my dad, my husband and me breastfeeding my son. When he was done, I handed him over to her and hooked my bra back up and rearranged my shirt.

I commented that she should be impressed that we just walked through the mall and no one noticed or cared about what I was doing. She patted my back lovingly and told me that she was indeed very impressed and thanked me for showing her a differently way of looking at things.

That was a very powerful moment for me, and I still get choked up when I think about it. Later that night we went to a nice Italian restaurant and when Konur was hungry Mom offered to go out to the car to get my "boppy" for me so it would be easier for me to nurse him at the table.

Some people don't want to understand breastfeeding and others, if given the opportunity, will amaze you.