Breastfeeding Kept Me Sane!

by Tory Thornton

When my husband and I discovered we were pregnant, we were thrilled. I started researching everything I could get my hands on about pregnancy and new babies. I never doubted that I would breastfeed, it was a given. I never even thought there could be another way.

When Katherine was born, everything went very smoothly. The birth was long, but uncomplicated. She was born a healthy 7 pound baby. As soon as she emerged, I took her in my arms, and saw my baby girl for the first time. It was the most amazing experience. I began to breastfeed immediately. Katherine took to it with no problems. Of course we had all the obstacles that all new breastfeeding mothers have, but after a couple of weeks we were beginning to get into a routine.

One evening about three weeks after Katherine (Kat) was born, I fed her, put her in the cradle, and proceeded to try to get some sleep myself. About an hour and a half later, I awoke to feel a wet spot in the bed. To tell the truth, in my sleep induced haze I thought, "My husband wet the bed!" Of course that was only for about 2 seconds. I got up to go to the restroom, and when I did it felt like all my insides tried to come out from between my legs. At first I was confused and tried to wash it off! After a few seconds, though, I realized that something was definitely not right. I called 911, and told my husband, "Honey, something is not quite right with me, so I have called 911." I was completely calm. He was very confused, and the next thing he knew an ambulance was outside the door.

I met the EMTs at the door and asked them to keep their voices down I had a sleeping infant in the house. As they came in, they saw all the blood and said we needed to go to the hospital now! The first thing out of my mouth was, "But it's almost time for my daughter to eat. She is breastfed." Well, that got some looks from the guys. They said that we would have to go now! I asked if my daughter could ride with us, she had never missed a feeding. "No!" she had to come with dad in their car. That was the part that began to scare me. I was very uneasy about leaving Kat, but they insisted, and the next thing I knew we were loading up in the ambulance and driving away from my baby who I had never been away from!

My husband later told me that when I had left he went into the bathroom and began to get REALLY scared that something was terribly wrong with me because it looked like someone had gone crazy with red paint in there. He drove to the hospital to meet up with me. That ambulance ride was very long to me, and I kept asking the EMTs if the hospital would let me nurse as soon as we got there. I was really worried about Kat. I hated being away from her. The EMTs didn't know what to say. They said this was the first time they had ever picked someone up like this who was so worried about feeding their baby!

At the hospital, the nurses wanted to change me out of the outfit I was wearing because I was literally laying in a pool of blood. As they began to change me, I went into shock from all the blood loss. So, just as my husband arrived with Kat, I was whisked to the real emergency section and had 2 IVs and many machines hooked up to me. There was my daughter, but I was being wheeled away from her. I reached for her, but they said she could follow with Dad. I just kept saying that I needed to feed her. Still, through all this, I was not scared or worried about me, I just wanted to make sure she wasn't waking up hungry!

In the ER, they did all kinds of tests on me and tried to get the bleeding to stop. At last, a doctor came in and said I could breastfeed, it would be the best for the baby and me. YEAH! How though? I was flat on a bed and not allowed to raise up, and I had an IV in each arm so I couldn't really bend them. My mother laid the baby down on my chest, and she went right to town looking for her food. I found out later that she had never awoken until 5 minutes before the doctor said I could feed her. I still don't know how that is with all the noises and jostling of her. It was amazing.

They eventually got the bleeding to stop without having to go into surgery, and I was finally released. As I was leaving, the nurses and doctors all came up to tell me what a beautiful baby I was and how lucky she was. It turns out I had hemorrhaged, and lost enough blood to come perilously close to needing a transfusion. Of course all I could think about was my baby, and providing her with the food that only I could! Breastfeeding kept me sane!