Even with Struggles, Breastfeeding is Rewarding

By Christine Cobos

From the moment we started trying to conceive, I knew I wanted to breastfeed my baby. Once I found that I was finally pregnant, my type A start-planning-right-away attitude kicked into high gear. I read everything I could about breastfeeding from books at the library. When I finished reading those books, I purchased a few more. I watched videos. I took a class. I bought my Pump-n-Style three months before my due date just so I could have the pumping thing all figured out when my baby arrived.

When the nesting instinct kicked in, I started sewing a few nursing shirts. I finished those and sewed a few more. Then I bought more material and sewed some more. I sewed so much that by the time my baby was due, I had a complete new wardrobe of clothing that would give me instant boob access. Even on my due date, I was in the fabric store buying more material. They knew me so well at that store I felt I should have sent them a birth announcement.

By the time my sweet little Katie was born, I had my pump, I had my shirts, and I felt I was quite the expert on nursing positions, latching on, and engorgement. But even with all of the planning there were some unforeseen events. I had an unplanned cesarean birth and wasn't able to start nursing Katie for half a day later, and it seemed like that little bit of time was enough to throw us out of sync. Out of all the books I studied, I had never paid attention to the sections on dehydration. Sure enough, by day three my milk was just starting to come in, but poor little Katie couldn't wait. She became very dehydrated, spiked a fever and was given IV fluids to rehydrate. That whole incident was very discouraging to me, and very disturbing to my husband. Always on the suspicious side, my husband from that day on was wary of the breastfeeding process. He wanted to know how much food Katie was getting, and you just couldn't do that with breastfeeding.

Breastfeeding continued to be a struggle when we came home from the hospital. Katie wasn't gaining much weight - she had only gained two ounces in her second week. For three weeks I worried about her weight, and nursed her around the clock. If she so much as whimpered, she was put to the breast. I worried that I was letting my pride get in the way of Katie's nourishment. Often I would look up at the pantry shelf, where there sat a sample canister of formula. So many times I thought, "If I just supplement a little she'll start gaining weight." But we kept nursing because I knew it was the best thing to do for both of us.

After three weeks, she had regained her birthweight, and I felt that I was finally making progress. However, Katie still seemed to be hungry all the time, and she was pretty poor at latching on. She just didn't want to open her mouth very wide. My husband grew more nervous - why couldn't I just pump and feed her from a bottle? That way we would know how much she was getting. It was impossible to explain to him how important nursing was to both Katie and me. Not only was I giving her food, but emotional nourishment as well. To satisfy his uneasiness, I would nurse Katie with one breast while pumping the other, then bottle feed her what I pumped. Talk about a major hassle! After two weeks of doing this, I finally had enough and just stopped pumping. Again I looked up at the pantry, thinking that if I couldn't produce enough with her nursing I would just have to supplement.

That's when I realized how amazing this whole breastfeeding process is, because right when I was about to give up, Katie figured out how to latch on. She opened her mouth wide and gulped the milk down. I started producing like crazy, and was able to store away an extra eight ounces a day in the freezer. She gained three quarters of an ounce a day, and gone were the fears that I was starving her.

My sweet little Katie is now five months old and she is a champion breastfeeder. Every time I put her to my breast and get to see that look of pure joy in her face, I realize that our struggles in the first six weeks were well worth the effort. In addition, I've been able to use all of my nursing shirts!

Breastfeeding has been the most rewarding part of having a baby, and I look forward to many more months of nursing Katie.