Breastfeeding Success

by Michelle Waters

Only by sheer determination and dogged persistence am I still nursing my 4-month-old son. Virtually every problem one could have with nursing, I have experienced. But I battled uphill and I can finally say that my son, Christopher, is a happy, fully breastfed child. But it wasn't always so.

I started out on the right path. I read everything I could get my hands on, attended La Leche League meetings beginning in my eighth month of pregnancy and made plans to nurse my baby within the first hour after his birth. Of course, I also planned to have a "painless" birth thanks to a wonderful epidural - no pain, lots of gain. Well, maybe not...

My carefully laid plans started to disintegrate when, after I'd been pushing for an hour, the OB came in and said my pelvis was too small and I'd have to have a Caesarian section. I shook like a leaf during the entire operation because of the drugs and 30 minutes after Christopher was born, I still couldn't hold him because I was shaking so bad.

Because epidurals can lower blood pressure, the nurses had pumped me full of IV fluids. When I first tried to nurse Christopher, my body was so swollen, he had trouble latching on. The lactation consultants told me I had flat nipples and encouraged me to use techniques such as squeezing my breast to make a "nipple sandwich." It seemed to work, but being a new breastfeeding mom and never having seen nursing up close, I didn't know when he was just sucking or actually swallowing.

Three days after I gave birth, my husband, Steve, was packing for our trip home and two lactation consultants were in my room discussing nursing with me. Shortly after noon, one of the LCs noticed Christopher's arms and legs jerking while he slept. They took my son to the nursery, where his pediatrician became concerned Christopher was having seizures. The hospital staff sent him to the NICU.

I was scared. He looked so small in the NICU bassinet, with electrodes glued to his head, monitoring his brainwaves. I tried to nurse him, but he refused to latch on. I tried to pump, but I only got a drop or two. So I agreed to let them give him two ounces of formula from a bottle. The good news is that a pediatric neurologist interpreted the results of Christopher's scans and determined that he was fine, that the muscle jerks were just a sleeping quirk, completely harmless. My husband and I took our son home that night.

When we arrived home, I tried to nurse Christopher, but he just screamed. I tried everything I could think of. Christopher was so tiny and vulnerable and his screaming tore our hearts out. I finally broke down and agreed to give him an ounce of formula. Steve gave it to him. I hated every drop of that vile stuff that flowed so fast into him I could hear it slamming into his stomach. He didn't have a bowel movement for a week after that and only did so then with the help of a suppository. I knew it had to be the formula. So for the next month, I was determined to nurse him.

I latched him on and he'd suck for a few minutes, then go deeply asleep. You could have dropped a bomb on him and he wouldn't have noticed. I'd learned in breastfeeding class that when babies are full they go to sleep. I had no idea that newborns also go to sleep when the milk flow is slow, even if they aren't full.

Since I'd had a C-section, I was too sore to sleep in bed, so I slept in a recliner. I nursed him every time I woke up, but I was so out of it, I had no sense of time. My mother, who did not nurse her babies and whose doctor told her not to wake a baby to feed it (that the baby will wake when it's hungry), told me that when Christopher would act hungry during the week she stayed with me, she'd give a pacifier until I woke up.

When Christopher was a month old, I took him to his first doctor's appointment. He hadn't gained his birth weight back. So the doctor told me to go home and nurse him for a week, then we'd weigh him again. I nursed and nursed and nursed. When I took Christopher back to the doctor, he hadn't gained so much as a fraction of an ounce.

So the doctor told me to nurse him every two hours, offer him a bottle of formula, then pump. I did this for a month and a half. When Christopher was 2 1/2 months old, I decided I was so sick of pumping, I just quit. I nursed him for as long as he would, then offer him a bottle, round the clock.

During that time, my nipples became so sore, I'd almost hit the ceiling every time he latched on. Nipple creams didn't help, and just the feeling of my shirt against my breasts was enough to send me into tears.

Many times Christopher and I sat in my recliner and cried together. But slowly things got better. I pumped anytime I couldn't get Christopher to latch on. I tried reducing the amount of formula he took at each feeding. Soon, instead of taking two to three ounces at each feeding, he was taking just one to two. But he was still fussing after some feedings and I'd give him the bottle.

The real turn around point came when I learned to nurse lying down. I took Christopher to bed with me at night and nursed all night long - no supplements! At first, he'd wake at 3 a.m. demanding a bottle and Steve would give it to him. Soon, Christopher was waiting until 9 a.m. and then noon.

At three months old, Christopher had doubled his birth weight. By three months and three weeks, he was only taking four to eight ounces of supplement each day. Just last Wednesday, he only took three ounces of supplement. So I cut out the bottles. I haven't given him a bottle in a week now and he seems just as happy. He's still in the 25th percentile with his weight and he's cooing and blowing raspberries everywhere.

I've learned that sometimes he fusses after a feeding when he's tired. I've also learned that he hates having a wet diaper, which makes him fuss, too. But overall he's a happy, fully breastfed baby and I'm a very proud mama! But I couldn't have done it without the support of my husband, La Leche League and the advice from other breastfeeding moms at Breastfeeding.com.