Somewhere inside of me there is a stereotypical villain.  I'm rubbing my hands together and cackling "Mine!  They're all mine.  Hee hee hee hee hee!"  while I look at my beautiful children.

Sometimes I worry about my maternal greed.  Can it be healthy to enjoy them this much?  I mean, I like them more than chocolate.  And I know you're supposed  to love your children, but I really LIKE them, too.  They're just cool.  I could go on and on about how cool they are, but I know you'd rather tell ME about YOUR excessively cool and good-looking offspring.

I give this a lot of thought- perhaps too much- because I stand at serious risk of acquiring four more children.  I have some kids in my family who may need a home in the near future, and I am getting ready to be their mom.  And, actually, I am excited about this.

And the social workers think I am nuts.  The ones I like the best just come out and tell me, "You're nuts.  Why would you want to have so many children?  And they're so young, too!"

And I smile, and internally rub my hands together in maternal greed.  Hee hee hee hee hee hee.

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I got to watch three of my four children at swimming lessons today.  It was the best!  My oldest was working so hard and really flying along.  The next one had an attack of deep water fear and was really tanking, and the next one was loving "swimming" with Daddy.  I walked out feeling so blessed to have all these kids and watch them tackle life.

Later I took the one with deep water fear back to the pool and fooled around with him for an hour- he was totally awesome.  On the way home he said, "Mom, I wanted to go swimming with you because I trust you not to make me go in deep water."

That's it right there.  That's what I want as a parent.  I want them all to know they can go swimming with me because I won't make them go in deep water- I'll help them learn to swim it and take it when they're ready.

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My in-laws decided to have Thanksgiving at my house this year.  I am not angry about this- they actually planned something AHEAD of time and were polite about inviting themselves over.

 In fact, I am really looking forward to it.  I've been figuring out the seating arrangements for sixteen in our two-story house, where the dining area is on the second floor and two of the guests can't climb stairs.  No problem.  I can handle it!  I will move my kids' beds out of their "dorm" area and serve dinner downstairs.  I'm already on the acquisition of a second banquet table and fourteen more chairs.  I'm trying out recipes.  I'm figuring out comfortable sleeping arrangements for eight extra people that won't affect my ability to cook while caring for my four children.  NO PROBLEM.  I am all over this like white on rice.

 I've already stocked extra toilet paper, extra towels, and extra toothbrushes.  I've talked my husband into fixing the upstairs shower that's been out of commission for a year, because we don't really need it-  it's easier to wash all the kids in my big master bathroom.  I've planted new flowers, cleaned up the exterior of the house, and tidied up the library.

So my MIL calls today and tells my DH that she's not coming.  Because it's too expensive to stay in a hotel, she has some unanticipated expenses, and it'll be "too crowded".  WHAT?  This from the lady who invited eight people to my house for Thanksgiving dinner?  Because I'm a homeschooling mom of four and, therefore, I have the time to cook?

It turns out that she got a speeding ticket.  This woman is over SEVENTY YEARS OLD.  And she is SPEEDING.  And so she can't afford to come to our crowded home for Thanksgiving, which was her idea in the first place.

And she's angry with US for not coming to see HER.  She lives five hours away, has two big, undisciplined, unexercised dogs, and cabinets full of medications that my three-year-old can reach and open.  Her house is a firetrap full of stuff that my cruising eight-month old isn't supposed to touch.

And there is no place for us to sleep.  Yes, she has three extra bedrooms, but they are so full of stuff that you can't turn around.  And all the beds are really high- just the thing for a cosleeping family with an infant.  And the last time we visited, she sent my then 18 month old son out to play in a tennis court festooned with broken bottles in the care of a nine year old- and didn't feel that she needed to tell me about it.

So, um, NO I won't visit until the kids are older.  And no, I can't talk to her about because if you disagree with her on any issue, she goes postal and never, I mean never, lets go of a grudge.  She went ten years without speaking to her eldest son; I don't know why.  So why do I put up with this?  Because my husband loves his mother.

Yargh.

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Wouldn't it be nice if we had it?  But we don't.  (By we I mean Americans.  I envy those of you who live in countries with national health care systems.)

 And here in CA, the governor and the legislature are dickering over who should pay how much for it.  Wouldn't it be better to get businesses out of the benefits business?  I want to get rid of it entirely and pay for it with an increase in income tax.  But you can't put that on the political table.

Voters, they say, will never vote to increase taxes.  But if we can't pay for it out of taxes, where will the money come from?

If employers didn't pay for benefits, it would be much easier to work part time, a benefit for a lot of moms.  As matters stand, businesses get a lot more for their money from full time employees.  If no medical benefits were involved, the overhead per employee would go way down, and it would be far easier to find part time work.  It's not a sexy issue, but it would make the workplace a lot friendlier to working parents.

Also consider the standpoint of a small business.  If you didn't have to provide healthcare benefits for employees, it would be less complicated and cheaper to hire employees.  I'd consider opening a business myself if I didn't have to worry about providing medical insurance for my family.  Nationalizing healthcare would smooth the path for small business owners.  It would take a huge risk OUT of small business and entrepeneurship.  Contract work would be much more attractive- this would create a much more flexible and reactive workforce.

See, I think national healthcare would be good for business.  So why don't businesses get behind it and push?  Why won't voters demand it?  We all want it, are we just not willing to pay for it?  Are we secretly hoping the money will come from some other pockets?  What IS the deal?  Somebody fill me in.

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You get one ant, she brings nine thousand of her little friends and you're living in a black writhing sea of insects.  Yuck.

 We have this thing where a couple of ants show up and then they bring all their friends while we're sleeping.  Don't ants sleep?  How can they do this to me?  I can't rest knowing that their six legged little bodies are sneaking into my house.

Then, during the day, they disappear.  My theory is that they are creeping up our front stairs, which get warmed up during the day.  I smile as I imagine the ants frying on my green steps. 

I swear I'd rather find a black widow than have ants.  You can smash a black widow and then it's over.  It's never over with ants.

 But my husband saved me!  He went out with a flashlight and sprayed (which had no effect on the ants, but calmed the wife.)  Then, in the morning, he weedwhacked around the house and called the exterminator, who is a splendid human being.  Yayyy Mike!  Mike has three kids and is really careful to make choices that are safe for my small horde.

Also, my husband stayed home from work, not because of the ants, but because I just needed him.  Yayyyy husband!

So now there are (temporarily) no more ants.  I keep wishing that a rare South American fungus would be accidentally imported that would kill all these stupid Argentinian ants in their stupid supercolonies.

 I'll just go on wishing.

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